iley: I’ve been feeling better about being here with Lucy (and Xena). Although I still miss my Dad, I know he’ll come back for me and I might as well enjoy my time here. Right? I’ve started eating more – I really love that sauerkraut and coconut oil that Miss Amy mixes into my food – and I’ve had more energy. Lucy and I run in the big front yard while little Xena runs after us and jumps and barks and growls at me. I finally figured out she’s not trying to be mean or “take me on” but its’ her way of playing. I ignore her, as she usually just bounces off of me. In this video, me and Lucy played kinda rough, so Miss Amy kept Xena away.
Every evening between 7:00 and 8:00 I start barking at Mr. Jeff. Miss Amy always knows what I want, so at first she had to cue him, “Riley wants you to throw his ball.” Now he knows, and we play ball in the house – down the hallway and into the bedroom or the library or the living room. It’s nice to have a guy like my Dad who will play ball with me.
My bed got moved into the living room so I have somewhere other than the hard floor to lay when the family is together in the evening.
As everyone was getting ready to go to bed the other night, Miss Amy noticed that I had stretched out so that my head was hanging off my bed. She knows that I still chew up things – at least stuffies – so she went through the house looking for something she “didn’t care about”. Then she remembered the brown blanket that I had chewed big holes in years ago. She retrieved it from the closet and laid it all bunched up under my head like a pillow. I slept especially good that night.
The next day, when I got up to eat breakfast, that crazy schnauzer ran and jumped into my bed.
She and Lucy eat a lot earlier than I do, so her beard was all spiky-wild from her food. Then she acted like she had to guard my bed so I wouldn’t try to get back in it. Silly schnauzer! I spent the rest of the day in her favorite red chair. That one kinda back-fired on her, didn’t it?
The Mom: I don’t like to wear shoes in the house unless my feet are cold so I often slip them off when I sit down. One particular day, I found a present in one of my sandals.
I don’t know who left it there, but it warmed my heart.
It might have been me. Or Xena. Or Riley. We all love Mom.
Epilogue: Andrew picked up Riley and took him home with him. Riley may be coming back…or he may not. Either way, Lucy and I love having him here. And, I suspect, even the crazy little schnauzer does, even though she would never admit it.
By Riley, Lucy, the Mom and the Crazy Little Schnauzer Warrior Princess
Where we left off was with a beautiful, 3-point landing of Sho’s magic carpet, right in front of the hut Canada in Tyeland, Shortly afterward, Sho drifted into a deep sleep (probably from exhaustion, although Xe drove all the way there from Tennessee, so Sho shouldn’t have been that tired). If you missed that, you can go read about it here at the Canadian Cats. As Sho lay snoring…
Tye: Are you getting bored, Xe?
Xe: Yes. We need an adventure. *thinking* Hey! Do you remember how we wanted to try stuffing a mouse down a cobra’s throat, but your big sister Sho was always around so we couldn’t do it?
Tye: Yep, and she’s sound asleep in our hut Canada now.
The friends, about to embark on an adventure, take off through the jungle, looking for a mouse and a cobra.
Tye: Hold the snake still! Xe: I’m trying. Maybe there’s a stick or rock that could help. Tye: No!! Don’t let it go! Mouse: Help!! Help!! I don’t want to die! Xe: That mouse screaming for help isn’t helping. And you went up too high in the palm. Cobra: *gurgle* You’re choking me! Tye: I’m hanging down as low as I can without falling. Xe: There’s a little stick I could wedge in the snake’s mouth. Cobra: When I get loose *gurgle* I’m gonna kill you, *gag* you stupid schnauzer. Tye: Forget it, he’ll get you while your back is turned. On the count of 3, we both let go and run as fast as we can. One, two, run!
A short while later…
Sho: *yawn* I had a good nap. Did you two do anything interesting while I was asleep.
Xe: You mean like shove a mouse down a cobra’s throat? Woof, woof! Tye: Yeah, or almost fall out of a palm? Meow, meow, meow. Xe: We waited on you to take a nice walk with us. Sho: You two are so funny. Let’s stroll down the jungle lane to see if there’s anything interesting going on. Some pretty flowers should be blooming this time of year.
Xe, whispering to Tye: Do you think the cobra’s gone? Remember, he threatened to kill me! Tye, whispering to Xe: Maybe, but let’s wear sunglasses or hats just in case, so he doesn’t recognize us. We’ll have to keep a watchout. And “flowers” will be our code word for cobra.
Tye: Do you see any flowers? Xe: Nope, nothing. Sho: Look, I see a flower over here. Tye and Xe: Eeeeek!
At that, Tye and Xe turned and ran (again) all the way back to the hut Canada.
Sho: Those two are so funny together. I’m glad they’re having a good time.
Sho never suspected that the “pretend” story of a cobra and a palm could be true, and she continues to sleep well because of it.
This concludes part 3, but stay tuned for part 4, coming to a blog near you.
The Mom: Why are you staring at me, Riley? What do you want?
Riley: I just ate and I need to go out.
*a few minutes later*
Lucy: Where’d you go, Riley? I saw you go into the woods and thought you had run off.
Riley: Nah, I just had to do my business and I don’t like anyone watching. Besides, why would I mess in my own yard, or in my family’s yard? That’s just nasty. And why would you think I ran off?
Lucy: It’s cause Mom told me she had a dream about you and me running off together through the woods like we used to do a couple of years ago. In her dream, she found you near her old neighborhood and brought you home. But she never found me. She said it was a terrible dream. It woke her up and she never went back to sleep that night. So I am staying out of the woods.
Now, where did Xena go? It’s so hard being the responsible one, trying to keep track of every body.
Xena: I found a hole; two holes, actually. I can smell a critter.
Lucy: What’s in the hole? Don’t you have to go potty?
Xena: I don’t know yet, and I already went. Now will you please be quiet? I need silence. Absolute. Silence.
I’ve been itching. It’s that time of year, I’m told. At first, Mommy had high hopes that my allergy serum injections would finally keep me from itching this year. I think I’m doing better, but I’m still itchy. My ears itch, so I scratch right under them. Then I always get something called a hot spot. Mommy started treating the new hot spot with some Tea Tree Essential Oil mixed in coconut oil. Then, this morning, Mommy found another hot spot under my other ear. I had been scratching during the night, and no one knew because “dogs aren’t allowed to sleep in the bedroom” anymore. Something about the peeps not getting any rest with us there. So now, Mommy is mixing Oregano Essential Oil in coconut oil and putting it on both hot spots. And I have to wear the cone.
At least I can see the ‘puter and still help Mommy in her home office.
Sho: Well, if we had to be stuck somewhere other than Canada during this pandemic, I’m glad it was here with you and Xe. And Tye had the right idea with this spa tub. I – being a cat – didn’t think I would like it. But it’s so relaxing.
Lu: It’s true, Sho. And this inoculation of Corona tastes pretty good. Do you think it would work better if we had it in “shots”?
Both: BOL, MOL, ha, ha, ha, *hic*
Xe: Hey, what are you two doing?
Tye: OMC, I can’t look. I think they’re naked!
Lu: Of course we are, silly cat. None of us wears clothes. Well, except when you put on that strange-looking hula skirt. The real question is, what have you two been up to?
Tye: I flipped Xe the bird. Xe: And then I shot Tye the bird. Both: Yep, we kept flipping each other the bird and it was lots of fun.
*earlier that day*
Tye: I’m so glad we found these old rackets up in your attic. *whack*
Xe: *whack* Me too, Tye. Shoot that angry bird back to me and I’ll flip this one right back atcha.
Helen from Confessions of a Doctor to Be nominated me for this award, which is really cool because my blogging network has so drastically changed since the first time I was nominated. Thanks, Helen! OK, so maybe it was actually Lexi who was nominated by her boyfriend Noodle the first time, and I was just her typist. I did, however, resurrect the badge from back then!
Rules to the Liebster Blogger awards:
Thank the blogger who nominated you and give them a big hug give them a link to the blog.
Answer the 11 questions given to you or at least most of them
Share 11 or so facts about yourself
Nominate between 5-11 other bloggers
Ask your nominees 11 or so questions
Notify your nominees once you’ve uploaded your post
So. I thanked Helen. Now for her 11 questions. The biggest question in my mind, however, is who answers them? Me? Xena? Lucy? Angel Lexi? Hey! How about if we each answer some of them?
What piece of writing are you the most proud of? Angel Lexi: I would have to say it was writing my book, The Life and Times of a Thespian Schnauzer. You can order it here.
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2. How long does it take for a post to go from an idea to fruition? Amy: Anywhere from a few minutes to a couple of days. A few minutes is, “I need to post something, it’s been a while.” A few days is, “I thought of something as I was falling asleep last night, and I need to take some pictures and find time to sit down with my computer.”
3. What has been your most enjoyable new hobby during this lockdown? Xena: That would be barking as loudly and as shrilly as possible at anything at everything I see out the front window. Mommy rearranged the furniture, thinking I wouldn’t be able to see outside. That hasn’t deterred me. I am a schnauzer, after all.
4. If you could go somewhere for a week, all expenses paid and you could do whatever you wanted, where would you go? Amy: Somewhere like French Polynesia. Warm, sunny, white beaches, clear blue water, good food, umbrella drinks.
5. What’s one thing you wish you were better at? Amy: Music, especially singing. I can’t carry a tune in a bucket, as the saying goes. You know it’s true when your 4 year old says, “Mommy, please don’t sing any more.”
6. What language would you like to learn and perfect if given the opportunity? Amy:French. I took 4 years in high school. I dated a Frenchman for 4 years. I’ve been to France 3 times, where a very nice French lady said she would understand me better if I would just speak English, slowly. Wow. So yeah, I would like to be good at it.
7. What’s an irrational fear you have? Lucy: That Mom is going to hit me when she raises her hand for any reason or when tries to teach me what she teaches Xena. She has never hit me, not ever. I guess I have issues.
8. What’s something you might be embarrassed or self-conscious about, but you know you shouldn’t be? Amy: How I look now vs. how I looked when I was 35. Yep, totally irrational.
9. What food are you craving the most right now? Lucy and Xena: beef, pork, fish, chicken, fresh veggies, fresh fruit, nuts, kefir, anything anyone else is eating. Amy: Ice cream.
10. What’s your best party trick? Angel Lexi: Every night at the theater, when I came on stage to take my final bow, the crowd always went wild. I’m a great actress. So good, in fact, that I was the first animal to win an Annie Award. No, wait, my very best trick was making sick little kids in the hospital smile. Amy: I’m an introvert. I rarely go to parties. Xena: What’s a party?
11. What brings you the most joy in life? Mom: Our family, and ballroom dancing.Xena: Our family, and Freestyle dancing, and my mealsLucy: Our family, and every new person I meet, and my meals.
Now it’s time to share 11 things about ourselvesmyself ourselves. Well, what did you expect when you nominated someone who writes in the voices of her dogs?
Puppy Xena in her dress
1. Xena: When I was a puppy and didn’t know any better, I loved Mommy to dress me up in pretty clothes. Now, not so much. I tolerate it, and that’s about the extent of it.
2. Lucy: Every time my dad comes home from wherever he’s been, I greet him at the top of the stairs with a smile on my face. Then he says, “Look at my big girl smiling at me!” (I sure do love my Dad.)
3. Amy: I love being outside. Yet, the outside is loving me less and less. I’ve recently become allergic to stings and bites from insects, such as bees, wasps and fire ants, and end up at the medi-clinic. And until I discovered that apple cider vinegar laced with salt dries up a poison ivy outbreak, I had to get a steroid shot plus prednisone pills every time I broke out. So now I mostly stay in the yard and on the patio. No more hiking or tramping through the woods.
4. Lucy: We eat a B.A.R.F. Raw Diet. Mom doesn’t tell everyone, ’cause people are so judgmental. (But we trust you.) After losing Angel Lexi to gum cancer (that also went into her lungs and brain), Mom did a lot of reading and studying about things that cause cancer in dogs. Dry kibble is one of them. So she did a lot more reading and studying about raw diets for dogs and we are so, so happy she did! Talk about excitement at meal time! And we always lick our bowls clean.
5. Amy: I can make things happen. No, really. My husband said he knew this for a long time about me before I realized it. Actually, most everyone can, to one degree or another, and, like me, don’t even know they are doing it. I say something – put it out there in the universe, as hubby says – and very often it happens. Example: Years ago, I spent a day on a small, rented pontoon boat. I liked it so much, I decided I wanted one. I’m not one to spend a lot of money or buy a lot of things, but this is something I wanted with all my heart. That morning, I opened the paper to the want ads, and there it was. The first listing was for a 16 foot pontoon. It was like new and $1000 more than I knew I could spend. I called anyway, and the first thing the seller said to me was, “I just got this boat in a divorce and I’ll take $1000 less than it is listed for.” Example: I was in-between jobs, and working for a temp agency that also did permanent placement. One afternoon I looked at my hubby and said, “I want to work for a church, or other faith-based organization.” The next day the agency booked me for interviews with two different churches, and I got offers from both. I was very happy with the compensation and job for many years at the one I accepted. Example: One evening, while visiting at a friend’s house, she told me that Chattanooga Theatre Centre was looking for a dog to play Toto. Without hesitation, I exclaimed, “Lexi can do that and she’s going to be Toto!” Of course, the rest is history. This happens all the time, so I’m careful about what I say. Actually, everyone can do this, but some people are just more in tune to it than others. (I wish I could declare myself a millionaire, but it doesn’t work that way.) That said, how about you?
6. Number 5 is so long that we’re also counting it as number 6.
7. Xena: I’m scared of thunder and lightening, of rain hitting the car windshield, of plastic bags coming near me, of riding in the car unless I’m in my kennel, of the vacuum, of dogs that bark back at me, of farts, and of the vet’s office. Mommy named me Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess, and Daddy says it’s something to live up to. I’m still working on it.
8. Amy: A few years ago, one of the local high schools with predominantly underprivileged kids decided to try out a 6-week ballroom dance program for any of the kids who wanted to participate. Since I can teach ballroom, and I love teens, I was asked to be one of three teachers. I taught the kids hustle with a routine to Gloria Gaynor’s song, “I Will Survive.” I danced with them, and we got to perform in front of the entire school. What a rush!
9. Lucy: While I have a lot of fears, too, I’ve never met a stranger. I love everyone and want them to pet me. I will get in their car if they leave the door open.
In no particular order our nominees are *drum roll, please* 1. Erin the Cat Princess We recently discovered Erin across the Pond. She has the attitude and staff of a princess for sure, and Xena is secretly trying to take lessons from her. 2. Lulu, Charlee and Chaplin and their Dad of the Oceanside Animals. We try not to miss Dennis the Vizsla too much while reading about the real and imaginary adventures of Lulu the dog and her 2 cat friends. Their Dad is an author, and I can’t wait to dig into one of his horror/sci fi novels. 3. Rachel from The Cricket Pages. Rachel only blogs once a week. She blogs – with raw openness – about her struggles caused by childhood abuse, her victories, and her failures. I’ve read her book, and it’s worth a look. 4. BellaDharma of BellaDharma and LadyMeow’s Purrfect Pad is a beautiful solid black kittie who is often the purramedic for her Mom up in Canada. Purrayers badge for her Mom is on my sidebar. 5. Max Power’s Blog is another one I have recently begun to follow. An Irishman blogging from his home country, his posts are both entertaining and insightful. He is also a published author, and I have also read one of his books. Take a look, there are several from which to choose. 6. The Canadian Cats have been going on adventures with my Xena in her blog stories. Beyond that, these two Siamese and one DSH have lots of fun on their own blog. Definitely worth a look. 7. Millie and Walter from Bird Brains and Dog Tails are two sweet pups who share what’s going on in their corner of the world. 8. We love Kosmo from PHOTOFINLAND RANTASALOT. I learn so much about the wildlife and landscape of Finland with the help of gorgeous photos. And Kosmo the tuxedo cat has a not-so-secret crush on our Lucy dog. She’s flattered.
Eight nominees seems like a good halfway point between the 5 minimum and 11 maximum in the instructions, don’t you think? If you weren’t nominated, please nominate yourself, as I would love to hear all about you. And, just so you know, I did leave out some of my other favorite blogs, so come on and join in the fun – you know who you are!
Now, for the questions you get to answer:
1 Why do you blog? 2 Blue jeans or formal wear? Cake or a health bar? Why? 3 If you could have one (more) animal live with you, what would it be and why? 4 What do you feel are your greatest talents? 5 If you could be any age, what would it be and why? 6 If there was one thing you could go back and do differently, what would it be?
Since I’m a rule-breaker, I’m only asking six questions. Besides, this is getting way too long. Just remember to “#3 Share 11 facts about yourself.” And since I only asked 6 questions, feel free to share more than 11.
If you haven’t already, be sure to hit “Follow” on my sidebar. See you around.
Lucy: Our brother Andrew came over and power washed our fence and patio and the parts of our house that needed it. While he was working on the fence, he left Mom a message on the patio.
The top part says “ADR,” which are Andrew’s intials. And we are sure you can read the bottom part. This put a big smile on Mom’s face.
We’re having a new patio built on the back of our house. That is the reason Mom asked Andrew to come over and power wash the patio. At first, after the old, temporary patio enclosure was removed, we still had a “temporary” fence to keep us in the dog lot area. After that was taken down, we became “free range.”
We keep finding different paths out to the yard as the building progresses. But we aren’t allowed outside unless Mom or Dad are with us. Me and Xena, we’re very good about staying in – or at least close to – the yard. And we come when called. You might remember when I used to run off with Riley. That was right after Xena came to live with us, and, well, I’ll admit it: I was jealous. Now I understand that life is better with a little sis, and that Mom and Dad love me just as much as before she came – maybe even more!
Xena: Big Black Ants have been invading our home. They look like this.
They’re called carpenter ants, which is silly, since I never saw them building anything. Hey, wait, maybe they’re carpenters’ ants, and the guys building our new patio brought them!
They don’t taste as good as the little brown ants, though.
In any case, I’ve been following them around and trying to eat them. Now that I know they taste yucky I just show Mommy where they are, and she comes and steps on them. When Daddy sees one, he steps on it too. I can hear them crunch. Since Mommy only runs the scary vacuum once a week, the bodies started piling up. After the weekly vacuuming we noticed something interesting. No more ants appeared. Now we think they were all coming for the funerals of their fallen comrades.
Lucy: Mom keeps talking about how nice the new patio will be, and how we can all sit outside without being devoured by mosquitoes. We will be sure to show you pictures of us enjoying our new outside space when it is (finally) done. We’re even going to have a doggie door between the patio and the dog lot! And it won’tbe one made by Xexe, like the last one was.
Both: So, today we are thankful that we’ll soon have a nice new patio where Mommy will spend all her time outside with us and we are also thankful that the ant invasion has ended.
Lucy: Why are you still at our house, Easter Bunny? Easter was a long time ago. And, come to think of it, you didn’t bring us anything.
Easter Bunny: Your Mom mistook me for one of your stuffies and I got thrown in the washer and dryer with them. (see here) After that, I was so traumatized, I couldn’t remember what I was supposed to do. Your stuffies took pity on me and let me sleep in their nice big crate. After I woke up, I shared the rest of the candy with them. Now I see why all you pups and kitties and little peeps look forward to me coming every year.
Xena: Do you mean no one in the world got any candy for Easter?
Easter Bunny: Oh no, not at all. First of all, there are thousands, nay, millions of us bunnies who deliver candy all around the world very early on Easter morning. I’m Bunny #36950. Second, your house was my last stop.
Lucy and Xena: So you mean we’re the only ones who didn’t get candy?
Easter Bunny #36950: Don’t blame me! It’s all your Mom’s fault. *shudder* You may have to meet me down by the street next year. Now, if you’ll excuse me, while I’ve had a lot of fun playing with Rainbow Bear and Sweetheart Bear and Chippy, and oh, by the way, who chewed the nose off of Oscar the baby schnauzer? That pup isn’t getting any candy next year!
Xena: Well, uh, you see, uh… Gee, it was nice having you visit, Easter Bunny #36950, and please be sure to come back next year with candy for us both. But maybe you should go now before Mommy decides to put you up in the attic until next Spring.
Lucy and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess, who didn’t get any Easter candy (and might not next year)
Lucy doesn’t play with Mom, but Lucy and me, we wrestle and play chase outside in the yard almost every day.
Thankfully, our restrictions are few and our routine has changed very little. We do have Mom and Dad home more, which we both love. But we know it’s not like this for all of our doggie friends, so we looked through Mom’s email and found this info to help with boredom and – Dog forbid – being forced to go potty inside because you’re not allowed outside! Here’s Your COVID-19 Canine Survival Guide.
STORY AT-A-GLANCE
If you’re a dog parent, you may be in need of a “canine survival guide” while you’re hunkered down at home during the current COVID-19 crisis
Be sure to have at least a month’s worth of pet supplies on hand, including all the things your dog typically needs on a daily and weekly basis
It also may be necessary to train your dog to go potty indoors while you’re quarantined or under a stay-at-home directive
Enriching your dog’s environment during this time is the best way to keep her mentally stimulated, manage her stress level, and avoid problem behaviors
Click here to read the details. There’s lots of fun stuff and helpful information!
Now I’m waiting for Mom to stop working so that we can try out some of these fun new games she has promised to play with me (especially the ones involving treats). I think I’ll go downstairs and remind her.
Tye: I’m getting bored with this Shelter in Place thingie. Hey Xe, let’s play a new game.
Xe: OK, what do you want to play?
*a bit later*
Tye: Sit still, I’m almost done fixing your hair. Then I’ll do your nails.
Xe: Curlers in my beard? And I see nail clippers! I’m outa here.
Tye: Wait, Xe, you’re going to like this next part….trust me.
Xe: Mmmm, can I have the recipe for this juicy drink? When can I eat the cucumber slices?
Tye: Wait til I’m done with my spa soak and I’ll get you finished up, Xe.
*meanwhile*
Lucy: What do you suppose Tye and Xe are doing in the house?
Sho: Hmm, all I know is I’m enjoying laying here in the sun. Do you like the drink I made for you, Lu? I’m sure those two are having fun playing some silly game or another.
Tye: And then you step like this *hic* and wave your front arms *hic* and wiggle your hips. *meow, meow, meow*
I’m doing Freestyle dancing for the ISO-Lympics! This is intended to delight and amuse you while Sheltering in Place. I happily accept a gold medal for my efforts!
Mommy washed my bedding and put fresh spring cases on the pillows in my kennel. Looky, my stuffies got a good bath and “air” dry. Now they don’t carry any germs, especially with Easter Bunny appearing from who knows where.
The Mom: Xena, your beard sure looks crunchy. How long’s it been since you had a bath?
Stuffies: Uh oh, wanna bet who’s getting a shampoo and blow dry next? Let’s go with Lucy to watch.
Lucy: Hey Xexe, what did you do to Oscar? Where’s his nose? And what happened to his beard? But mostly, where’s his nose?
Xena: Um, I was grooming him, you see, and I was trimming his beard with my teeth, and, well, and I must have gotten too close to his nose.
Lucy: You ate his nose? Are you a barbarian?
Xena: I didn’t eat it!
Lucy: What if Mom did that to you when she’s grooming you? Look at Oscar. He’s pitiful. Poor puppy.
Xena: I’m so sorry, Oscar. I didn’t mean to hurt you.
I’ll tell you what, Oscar, sweetie. We’ll get dogtor Lucy to fix you up, and I’ll ask Mommy to groom you from now on. What’s that? Will it hurt? No *giggle* not at I’ll. I’ll gas you and you’ll sleep right through it.
*a short time later*
Lucy: That was a delicate operation.
Oscar didn’t have any health insurance, but he said to send the bill to you, Xena.
Lucy and the failed groomer aka Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princes, (and Oscar)
Now, to reveal what my #10 mystery item was on the Scavenger Hunt. (If you missed it, you can read it here.) Ruby, Millie & Walter, and Phenny & Nelly all got it right.
It’s a lamp, one of two that I bought from a dance studio that was closing. Thanks to Hootin’ Anni for hosting this hop. It’s going on until the 15th, so go ahead and have some fun with it by clicking here.
Lucy: We are joining with Easy Blog and the Canadian Cats Blog today to give Uncle Bob (can we call you “uncle,” Uncle Bob?) can make some different suppers for him and Aunt Jean (can we call you “aunt,” Aunt Jean?).
Lucy: Xena and I help keep the floor clean when Mom is cooking, so we can tell you, this dish we’re about to give you the recipe for is super yummy. And it’s dog and cat friendly right up to the point where you add the raisins. It’s supposed to be cran-raisins, which we could eat, but Mom uses raisins ’cause they don’t have any added sugar. If you don’t care about things like added sugar, go with the dried cranberries so we can eat some of it, cause it’s even yummier that way.
This recipe is called BUTTERNUT SQUASH WITH APPLE AND CRANBERRIES (or RAISINS)
Mom forgot to take a picture of it when she took it out of the oven, and her and Dad dove into it, so this is all that’s left. At least we caught her before she ate it all for lunch today.
Xena: We hear this is really easy to make once you get past the killing the squash part. Here’s how you do it.
Part 1: Get one butternut squash and nuke it in the microwave for about 4 or 5 minutes to soften it a little. Be sure to poke some holes in it with a fork first so it is injured and doesn’t get away. Then peel it with an apple peeler if you have one, or just a paring knife if you don’t. Slice open it’s belly and remove all the seeds. We like to eat any guts, er seeds, that miss the trash can. Cut up what’s left into smallish cubes, or even medium size cubes if you’re in a hurry or don’t like cutting. Just so it fits in your mouth when it’s cooked. Dump it all in a great big bowl.
Part 2: Core and chop up 3 or 4 apples. We don’t care what kind, as long as they cook good in the oven. No need to peel them. Dump them in with the squash.
Part 3: Dump in 1/4 cup of butter, 1/2 to 1 cup dried cranberries or raisins, 1/4 teaspoon each of cinnamon and nutmeg, and about 3 tablespoons of sugar. (Mommy uses Stevia – it’s that sugar thing again.)
Lucy: This next part involves heat and fire, so I’ll take it from here. After mixing everything up, dump it in a great big casserole dish, the bigger the better – like 3 quarts – and put it in a hot oven that’s set to 425F/220C degrees. Cook it for 30 minutes, then lower temperature to 350F/175C degrees and keep cooking for another hour. It will be done and ready to eat. HOWEVER, after the first 30 minutes, our Mom lowers the temp to 325F/163C and cooks it for about 2 and a half or 3 more hours. That way, it shrivels up and is sweet like a dessert.
Lucy and Xena: Whichever way you cook it, it’s yummy-scrumpdilyishus! Uh Mom, did you just eat all that? And you didn’t save any for Dad? Or us?
Pee S: This makes a very large amount, so you might want to either just get a small butternut squash and use 2 or 3 apples or you might want to just use half the squash.
Lucy: Your stories are selling like hotcakes, Xena. We should be getting royaltreats or something like that. I’m going to check with our publicist. Oh Mo-o-o-o-ommm…
Xena: What’s the “we?” I’m doing all the work.
If you missed any of our story, you can click on Part 1 and Part 2 and Part 3 and Part 4. It’ll help Part 5 make more sense…
Xena’s story: A Dog and her Cat Friends, with another Plot Hound, Part Five
The driver in the old truck barked at them to stop. “Y’all stop now, y’hear? I’m your ride to the big white house. Didn’t Ho No tell y’all to ‘spect me?”
“So you aren’t the ICY Plott Hound from Texas?” the two friends asked.
“Golly no, I’m a NICE Plott Hound from the hills of Georgia. My name’s Sally. That thar one you mentioned is my cousin Leroy. He thanks he’s hot stuff. Come on and jump in the back and I’ll getcha where yer goin”.
“I think we should trust her,” whispered Xe. “What do you want to do, Tye?”
“Let’s get in. We can always jump out if it’s a trick. But my gut feeling is she’s one of the good hounds.” So off they went in the back of the truck, getting ever closer to the big white house.
*87 hours later* (It was an old, slow truck.)
“Here we are, little ladies,” woofed Sally, “the big white house is thar, behind all those bushes. Which reminds me, it’s time for a potty break.”
“Let’s go find the person who can help us stop this unjust incarceration of Siamese cats,” meowed Tye. She jumped out the window of the truck, and Sally helped Xe down from the truck bed. Before she would go any further, Xe ran a comb through her beard and leggings and put on her favorite scarf, so as to make a good impression on the person in charge. Xe asked Sally, “Is this the big white house?”
“Well,” Sally replied as she hurried off to do her bizness in the bushes, ” it is a big white house, now ain’t it?” After bagging up her droppings in a Mickey D’s carry out container left over from lunch the previous day, Sally hopped behind the wheel and drove off in a cloud of white exhaust fumes.
After Xe and Tye stopped coughing, they climbed the many steps up to the front door of the big white house, where they woofed and meowed as loudly as they could until the door opened. Upon telling the door man why they were there, they were ushered into a stately sitting room, where they waited for the Person In Charge, who they decided to refer to as PIC.
Pretty soon the PIC entered the room. Xe had seen pictures of the ICY PIC who lived there, and was not looking forward to this encounter. As expected, this man was tall, made even taller by the stove top hat he was wearing. “That’s different – I’ve never seen him wear a hat on TV,” thought Xe. His hair wasn’t that fake yellow, and his face didn’t look the same, either. Maybe a new person had moved in and taken over, she thought. He lowered himself into the largest chair in the room and removed his black hat. “Welcome to the big white house,” he said congenially. “What can I do for you today?”
“I would like some fresh meat and veggies, please,” Xe politely asked, just before her stomach started growling again.
Tye started to protest, meowing that wasn’t the reason they were there, but the NICE PIC clapped his large hands. The person who answered the door entered the room, and the NICE PIC told him to bring his guests food, saying, “No one can think right on an empty stomach. Give them whatever they want.”
Xe requested salmon, and whatever fresh veggies were available. After thinking for only a moment, Tye asked for shrimp. While they were eating, the NICE PIC told them entertaining stories about his childhood and his beloved dogs and cats. Soon they were able to relax with full bellies and an affinity for the NICE PIC.
Tye settled into her new friend’s lap, partially slipping under his suit coat to keep warm. Xe sat at his feet while they took turns relating the injustice of incarcerating innocent Siamese cats, as well as the horrors of the detention center. The NICE PIC, who said they could just call him Abe, softly stroked Tye while listening attentively. As their story came to an end, he promised to make a Proclamation declaring all animals and people equal, and that he would put an immediate end to the detentions. They sensed he was an honest person, and thanked him profusely.
“Now, let’s get a picture of us all for posterity,” he said. I believe this day will go down in history. Xe was very glad she had spiffed herself up after her long journey, and hoped no food was stuck to her beard as was wont to happen. Abe assured her that she looked lovely, so she relaxed and faced the camera.
The two friends accepted the invitation to stay the night, and, after a night-night treat, slept soundly in a big soft bed.
The next morning they all ate hearty breakfasts which had been prepared specifically to each of their tastes and diets. It was a beautiful, sunny day and Xe and Tye were outside taking care of necessary business in the bushes when a shadow suddenly covered them both. Tye began to jump up and down, meowing loudly. Xe thought the shadow must be from a cloud until she looked up – and would have wet her pants if she had any on and if she hadn’t already taken care of that business – and saw something she thought was only in story books. Abe had offered them a helicopter ride back to Tennessee, but it seemed they wouldn’t need to use it after all.
Be sure to check out what actually happens next by reading Shoko’s story at The Canadian Cats this Friday! Then come back next Monday for the grand finale of my story.
Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess with Lucy as my Editor
Xena: Who’s up there on the bed whispering? Make way, I’m coming up.
Yay! You’re all out of hibernation, and look! There’s our missing Mr. Eleephant!! Sweetheart, your eye looks odd. Do you have pink-eye?
Sweetheart Bear: No, Xena, that’s just my pink furs that got in it. You can lick them away from my eye if you want. And yes, we found Mr. Eleephant. Well, actually, Rainbow bear found him sitting on the front step. He was a bit hungry and cold, but otherwise he’s ok.
Elle: The bears are having a post-hibernation confab and I was invited because I’m Mr. Eleephant’s care-taker when he is here.
Jen Jen Bear: Yes we’re discussing how to keep everyone alive and safe from that Riley dog, as well as what to do about that Scoundrel Ludwig.
Riley: Why does everybody always pick on me?
Ludwig suddenly appears: Mr. Eleephant, it’s good to see you’re alive and well. I had urgent business to…
Rainbow Bear: Ludwig, you scoundrel! We take care of our own around here. How dare you abandon Mr. Eleephant on the front porch while you tried to spy on Xena! (click here if you missed this)
Ludwig: Mr. Eleephant is OK – he’s a tough old coot. And well, I, I, I already wore the cone of shame. Isn’t that enough? Can’t we all be friends again?
The bears and the elephants discussed how they wanted to handle this, and what to do next. An executive decision was made…
OK, all y’all, game’s on. Last one to Xena’ kennel is a rotten Ludwig!
This is Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess and Chippy the chipmunk with a hoard travelling to my kennel.
Xena: Take it away where? What are you talking about, Lucy? I’m watching to see where this squirrel goes.
Lucy: I mean, go ahead with more of your story. Your adoring fans are waiting to hear what happens next. *sigh* I’ll watch the squirrel for you.
If you missed any of our story, you can click on Part 1 and Part 2 and Part 3. It’ll help Part 4 make more sense…
Xena’s story: A Dog and her Cat Friends, with another Plot Hound, Part Four
With a newly-found resolve, Xe and Tye headed in the general direction they thought was toward Tennessee. It was early morning, so they kept the sun on their right as they walked. From old habits in Siam, where Tye was from, they kept away from the water as they traveled, so nothing could jump out and eat them. As they walked they talked about many things. The pair recalled the fun they had together in Siam, and how Tye would catch mice to throw at any leopards or tigers they might encounter. That led to Tye relating her voyage from Siam to Texas and the mice she caught and cared for. Then the conversation took a more serious turn.
“You know what happened to you when you got off the ship wasn’t right.” Xe got angry just thinking about it. “We need to do something so it doesn’t happen to any more Siamese cats.”
“It’s true, Xe. I was so excited, thinking about seeing you again and the fun we would have, and the next thing I knew I was sitting in that detention center eating rotten vegetables. I hadn’t done anything wrong! I don’t understand why I got treated like that!”
“We need to go to the big white house and ask the people in charge to make those ICY people stop doing that,” exclaimed Xe. But it’s a long walk; we’re going to need a ride.”
No sooner did Xe woof their need for a ride than a horse came galloping up to them.
“I hear you’re in need of a ride.” The horse bowed her head as she addressed Xe. “How can I help you free everyone of tyranny and oppression and rotten vegetables?”
Xe and Tye looked up at this huge horse, who seemed to genuinely want to help them, even if she was a bit zealous and also a bit off the mark of their goal. “What is your name?” they asked in unison, both with a slight quiver of fear in their voices.
“I am a Horse with No Name,” replied the magnificent creature. “Tell me why you are out here in the middle of nowhere, and where you want to go.”
Xe was spell-bound that there could be a Horse with No Name. Ignoring the horse’s question, Xe asked, “Have you been to the desert? I hear in the desert you can remember your name.”
When the Horse with No Name didn’t reply, Tye and Xe related their experiences over the past few days.
“Stay here,” said the horse as she wheeled about on her hind legs and cantered off into the scrub brush, just out of earshot. They could hear her whinnying and nodding her head, but couldn’t make out what she was saying into her iphone.
“Both of you, climb on my back and I will get you as far as I can,” the Horse with No Name told them as she skidded to a stop in front of them.
The two friends looked at each other, and, with unspoken agreement leaped upon the Horse with No Name’s back.
As their newest friend started off at a full gallop, Xe and Tye laid down and hung on for dear life. “Ho No!” they screamed,” we’re going to die!”
“How did you guess that I go by ‘Ho No?’ asked the Horse with No Name.
“Is that a Hawaiian word?” asked Tye.
“No, it’s short for HOrse with NO Name,” replied the horse. “And I won’t let you die. I’ll stop if I feel one of you slipping off.”
On like that they went for about 87 miles, with Ho No settling into a smooth trot that she could keep up for hours. The riders kept their eyes closed for a long time, pressing themselves against her broad, flat back. Except for an occasional grunt, their claws digging into her sides didn’t seem to bother Ho No at all. At one point, Tye opened her eyes, and seeing how pretty Ho No’s mane was braided, asked her about it. “It’s because I’m a girl,” Ho No said as if that was the only explanation needed.
After what felt like 87 hours Ho No came to a halt. “This is the end of the line for me, girls,” she whinnied. I’ve gotten you as far as northeast Georgia. I spoke with one of my friends, who is going to pick you up and take you the rest of the way to the big white house.”
“Will we see you again?” Tye began to ask, but Ho No had already disappeared down the back dirt road in a cloud of dust. Or maybe it was a cloud of red clay since they were, after all, in Georgia
They waited there for about 87 minutes, watching for another horse to appear, hopefully one with a real name. They were taking advantage of the fresh water nearby (that Ho No had promised was safe), when an old truck came charging down the road.
“Xe Xe,” whispered Tye, ” get your nose out of the grass and look at this. I think maybe the ICY Plott Hound has found us, but something looks different about him.”
At that, Xe whipped around, ready to make a run for it with Tye.
Xena: To start off our not quite WW we want to wish everyone a belated happy St. Patrick’s Day, and feature the back of the green shirt that was printed during Angel Lexi’s second run as Toto in the Wizard of Oz.
Can you find Lexi’s name? The first one to get the right answer will win… oh, never mind; Lucy’s just going to stop me anyway.
Lucy: Next, we want to feature the infamous cone of shame. You may remember that “Lois” showed up at our front door claiming to be Ludwig’s cousin. You can click hereif you missed that one. Many of you were justifiably dubious, and thought it was probably Ludwig in drag. Well, we are here to tell you that you were right! The first give-away (no, not a trip, Xena) was that “Lois” immediately took up Ludwig’s usual place on the old Victrola.
Spying on Xena was such a shameful act that he has to wear the cone of shame, at least until we figure out where Mr. Eleephant is.
Now for our Cone of Shame funny, he, he, he.
Thanks to Comedy Plus for hosting the Wordless Wednesday Blog Hop!
XOX from your friends, Lucy and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess
If you missed Part 1, click here, and Part 2, click here.
Lucy: OK Xena, you’ve kept everyone waiting long enough. It’s time for the next installment of your story. Let’s see, you left Tye in an interment camp for illegal Siamese and others our country didn’t want here, and you were on your way to get her out. What happens next? Do you get Tye out and bring her home with you?
Xena: Well, you see, I’ve been thinking about it, and sometimes things get worse before they get better. At least that’s what I’ve heard. But maybe not too much worse…
A Dog, Her Cat Friends and a Plot Hound Part 3
Xe took her suitcase full of good raw meat – frozen to keep it from spoiling – and hopped the first bus she could find heading out to the detention center in Texas where poor Tye had been imprisoned.
Xe told the driver what was happening, and he put the peddle to the metal, ignoring the rest of his stops. Later that night the driver dropped Xe off at the address Tye had given for the center and wished her well.
Meanwhile, Tye was saying goodbye to the second doggie she had ever made friends with. Pedro the chihuahua had been picked up by Border Patrol and been detained until he found a sponsor. A nice American man rescued Pedro the chihuahua. Instead of saying, “Gracias,” Pedro kept yelling, “Quiero Taco Bell.” He must have been starving!
Tye, also famished from subsisting on a diet of rotten vegetables, pleaded with the man to take her, too. “Please, nice man, won’t you take me home with you, or at least get me outta here and onto a bus to my friend’s house in Tennessee?” But the man said he was only allowed to rescue one detainee at a time. He promised to try to come back for her, though, especially since she and Pedro were now friends.
Xe had hidden in the bushes until the breakfast bell rang and the guards all went off to eat. As she stealthily approached the fence, a man carrying a chihuahua walked past her.
The pup kept screaming something about Taco Bell, and that made Xe’s stomach growl loudly. The man walked faster, thinking Xe was about to attack. Xe thought about following them, hoping to score a taco, but resolved to get Tye out from behind that fence first. Yes! Tye was her first priority, even over her stomach, and that shows a lot of love from a schnauzer, even a warrior princess schnauzer.
All the resolve in the world couldn’t help her when an ICY Plott Hound guard suddenly appeared from around the corner. He had heard all the yelling, and came to see if someone was passing out tacos. Xe decided to make a run for it ..
… when the ICY Plott Hound guard grabbed her by the back leg and slung her into a bag with a sign on it that read, “Schnauzer meat, good to eat.” Xe hoped the sign was a joke, but what kind of a person – or dog – would joke about that! In short order, Xe was processed (no, not made into meat; her paperwork got finished), then she was thrown into a detention area.
Even though this was not the reunion they had both imagined, Tye and Xe were happy to see each other again. “What’s in that red cooler over there?” asked Xe. “Rotten vegetables,” replied Tye, with a look of both disdain and resignation on her face. Xe was about to explain that there were good probiotics in some rotten veggies when a sudden flash of hope shone in Tye’s eyes. She looked at Xe and whispered, “We can plan our escape together. There is a COOL guard in here who likes me, and she will help us!”
The next day, when the COOL guard came to see how Tye was doing, she was surprised to see Tye cuddled up sleeping with a schnauzer warrior princess – and Minnie Mouse.
Xe had remembered to pack her bed, a pretty scarf to wear to sleep in, and a mouse toy for Tye. Tye had to meow Xe awake so they could confer with the COOL guard.
“Excuse me ma’am,” woofed Xe (Xe had been raised to have good manners), “could you please help us get out of here? I am Xe Schnauzer Warrior Princess, and I am a citizen of the great US, born in Georgia and living in Tennessee. You can check my AKC papers, it’s all right there.”
After looking over Xe’s official papers, the COOL lady took them to the office to start the process for her release. And since Xe really is a citizen of the US, she also applied to be Tye’s sponsor. While Xe and Tye waited, they filled their bellies with the now thawed meat that Xe had brought.
87 hours later, the paperwork was still not ready. Come nightfall, the two friends snuggled up to sleep in the comfort of each other’s company. The next morning the COOL guard, also called the NICE (short for Not ICY) guard by Tye and Xe, returned with all the paperwork they needed to be released and allowed to go back to Tennessee.
“Well, we’re out,” meowed Tye, who still wore her ID from the detention center. “Now what?”
“I don’t know,” woofed Xe. “I don’t know how to get home from here, and I want my Mommy.”
“Don’t worry,” Tye said in her best soothing voice. “I’ve come all the way from Siam, almost got thrown overboard on the ship, got locked up in a detention center, ate rotten vegetables for a week, and then my bestie XeXe came and rescued me!”
At Tye’s words, Xe had to smile, if only a little, and her heart swelled with love for her cat friend. “You’re right, TyeTye, it can only get better from here. Let’s go home.”
The sun was just rising behind them as they began their journey north on paw, hoping that a NICE person would give them a lift to Tennessee.
Come back next Monday to find out what happens next.
Story and pictures by Xena, all rights reserved, except for certain cats in Canada who are part of this story. But the mean old plott hound can’t use this to his own devices.
I'm Dalton, a Rat terrier mix and I came here in Sept, 2017, I was rescued from Hurricane Harvey. My birthday is 8-20-2016. My Gotcha Day is 8-27-2017. And I am Benji, a terrier mix of unknown origin. MY Birthday is June 6, 2018, and my Gotcha Day is Dec 28, 2018. I also was a rescue from a different part of Texas. We also have Angel MrJackFreckles, (2-5-2018); and also we have Angel Minko, (6-18-2017); and Angel Pipo, (11-3-2020);There are also Angels Groucho, Simba, Suki, & Toki. We meezers used to be known as WeBeesSiameezers. We'e all from Michigan, Dalton and Benji both came here from Texas, as rescues..
Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess with Lucy and Chia 