Oh, boy, I can’t wait. My special guy is going to skype with me tomorrow. I will get to see him live on the computer. We are going to skype at 5:00, right when I usually eat supper. Oh, I hope my stomach doesn’t growl too loudly. I would hate to scare my sweetie!
I was supposed to Skype with Noodle last Friday, but I told him that I had to wash my hair. Now I feel bad. I miss my Valentine boy. I wonder if he would Skype with me this weekend… To help Noodle forgive me for breaking our Skype date last week, I am showing him this picture of me as a puppy. I was about eight weeks old here. Who can resist a puppy? Can someone put in a good word for me? Maybe ask him to look at this picture? I am Lexi, the contrite schnauzer.
Mom was going to ground me from my Valentine’s Day date because I did something naughty at work on Thursday. Thanks to pleas from some of my friends, she changed her mind…and came up with a new punishment. Personally, I don’t think Moms should be allowed to punish their schnauzers. However, she said no one could arrest her for dog cruelty for what she did.
I have to dog-sit my schnauzer cousin Piper. That meant I couldn’t go to work with Mom on Friday. I thought about making my Dad suffer all day for what Mom did, but decided I would play it cool, hoping they would remove this punishment sooner. Nope, he’s still here. Piper was supposed to go home tonight, but now he’s not leaving until Monday night. He eats my food, sleeps in my bed, and snuggles with my Mom. And now Riley is acting like, “Hey Piper buddy, so glad you are back! Let’s play!” At least I get to visit with my Auntie Jen when she picks him up tomorrow night! And I still have my Valentine date with Noodle. Yea!!!
I am Lexi, the contrite schnauzer.
My new bestest blog friend Noodle nominated me for the Liebster Award, and I won! Yea! You can check out Noodles blog at Noodle4President: The Adventures of Noodle the Schnoodle.
Along with the award, I am required to answer some questions. Noodle also added questions for me to answer, so here goes:
With the nomination comes the duty of having to answer 11 questions.
1) What do you consider to be the best time of day: When I first wake up in the morning. Dad feeds me my breakfast with special toppings, then I get to go to work with Mom. I hardly ever get a bath in the morning.
2) Name your icon: LexiToto. It is my headshot from playing Toto in the Wizard of Oz. It is in the playbills and on posters.
3) Do you have a nemesis, if so who / what? Nope, everyone loves me.
4) If you could have a super power what would it be? X-ray vision. That way, I wouldn’t have to jump up and check out if someone was eating in another room.
5) Postman, love them or hate them? The only postman I ever met was at work at St. Paul’s. I used to bark at him, and he would just smile and pet me. So I guess I love them. They can’t be intimidated, and they are good petters.
6) What is your earliest memory ? Coming to my new home when I was 8 weeks old. The big German Shepherd Ara wanted to play and he was trying to run me down. I had to dive under chairs really fast to avoid being splattered.
7) How did you start writing a blog ? My Mom found Dogster and she started posting all the interesting things I was doing on it, beginning when I was two years old. Then Dogster got bought by someone else and they threatened to close all the blogs, so Mom made me a new blog just my own.
8) Social media, pleasure or bane of your life ? Pleasure. It makes me more famous, which might mean more treats.
9) What is the one thing you treasure above anything else ? That’s tough. I want to say steak, but that sounds self-serving. (I would love to self-serve some steak right now!) So I guess I would say bedtime when I crawl under the covers long enough to lick Mom’s stinky feet before surfacing for air. That’s when I have to jump out of bed and wash my mouth out with the fresh water in my bathroom water dish – no not the toilet!
10) Do you have a nickname if so what is it and why? Dad calls me Little One. Mom calls me Gorgeous Worgeous. My friend Gail calls me Lexipro and Lexicon. Sometimes I am referred to as The Lexter. I don’t know why, but I have learned to answer to them all in case someone is calling me to give me a treat.
11) What is your favourite past time? Acting on stage, then competitive dancing, also called Freestyle.
——————
6 Random Facts About Me:
1) I am 11. That’s not old.That’s 60 in people years. I bark at people who call me old.
2) I am big breasted. It is caused by a fatty tumor covering my entire chest area. I hear breasts are mostly fat anyhow.
3) I love to ride in the car and go boating on my pontoon.
4) I love to go the the children’s hospital to therapize the kids, parents and staff.
5) My new Kindle edition book just got published. It is called The Life and Times of a Thespian Schnauzer. It is about me.
6) I hate bananas. And most chips. I like pickles and most any other people food.
Now, here are Noodle’s questions and my answers:
1) What would you do if your parents brought home a new puppy?
I would wonder if they needed their heads examined. If they wanted to clean up pee and poop all over the house and listen to a lot of whining, they should have just told me so. I can be very accommodating.
2) If you could go anywhere, where would you go? Back on the stage at the Theatre Centre. It is where I am happiest.
3) What do you hope to accomplish with your blog?
Well, I had to set up an email account when I started my blog, and I hear you can get attachments on e-mail. I am hoping to get lots of treats attached…
4) If you went to the pet store, what is one thing you couldn’t leave without buying?
I saw a ferret I really wanted, but mom wouldn’t buy it for me. I heard her say something about me being a ratter.
5) What do you want to be when you grow up? If you are already a grown up, did you do what you wanted to do?
I didn’t know I wanted to be a therapy dog until I got to go into the kid’s hospital and make them smile. Now I smile the whole time I am there doing therapy, and they smile too. It’s my best trick. I am an actor, a therapy dog, an agility dog and a freestyle dog. Yep, I did what I wanted to do, and am still doing most of it.
6) What is your favorite animal? Me
7) How would you describe your personality? My motto is “Mine, now.” Even though I can be pretty self-serving, I really am sensitive to how people feel and try to make them feel better when they are sad. I am busy, as in, “Why walk when you can trot?” I am focused on whatever I do. I like to bark but understand when Mom tells me to be sweet.
8) If you could change one thing about your parents, what would you change? They would feed me more often and with their food.
9) Do you sleep in the bed with your parents, a crate, couch, or a doggy bed? I start out in my kennel. Then I get in bed with my folks. Then I sleep on the big ortho dog bed that used to belong to my sister Lily, who went to the rainbow bridge. Then I get back in bed with Mom and Dad. Sometimes I get back out and sleep on the rug. I move around a lot. I have homemade wooden doggie stairs right next to the bed, so it is easy to do. (I hope this wasn’t supposed to be a one-word answer. If so, the answer is crate-parents-doggiebed-rug.)
10) Do you play fetch? No, I play catch. I make up the rules, of course. Playing catch with the ball is good training for catching food, and that’s what’s important. Actually, once in a great while I will play fetch, but I only do it to make my Mom happy. If she throws the stick or ball more than once, I quit. I can only make her so happy, then her happiness is her own responsibility.
11) If you answered ‘yes’ to #10: Why would you play that silly game?! I just don’t understand it! If you answered ‘no’, is it because it makes no sense to you, too???
Last week was a sad week around home. My sister Lily was dying. I could tell. Even Riley knew. He came up to my Dad’s office where Lily was lying on her bed. After he smelled her for a while he laid down on Lily’s bed next to her. He never lies down next to her or me. Maybe he isn’t such a bad sort after all. Dad had us all say goodbye to Lily before he took her back to her other home to be with her mom. He has never done that before.
It hasn’t been long since I last saw my schnauzer buddy Milo. He was terribly sick, and after he went back home with him mom, he had to be “put to sleep.” I hate those words. I know I will never see Milo again. My Auntie Jen has been so sad.
I stayed home with Dad yesterday when Mom went to the church to work. That’s how I know he got a phone call that made him cry. Today I am at the office sleeping working with Mom. Dad said he wanted to be alone. No one told me this, but I don’t think Lily is coming back. I have been through this before, and I am beginning to understand. I hate when everyone is so sad.
April 1, 2014
I got a bath. An all over, nose to tail sort of bath. That meant that I was going somewhere – or that our bedding was starting to stink. I hoped it was the former. I realize that this happens once a week – the bath thing, not the bed stinking thing. But I am a very hopeful, positive thinking type of schnauzer. This time it was worth it, peach bow on my collar and all.
Mom and Dad and I met up with one of the church office volunteers in a parking lot, where we piled into her car and drove up a mountain. I was pretty distracted by the smell of food coming from the back of the car or I would have realized sooner how strange the whole thing was. Of course I recognized Mrs. C., who is often at the church when I go in on Thursdays or Fridays. But it never occurred to me that she existed outside of that building. I have never seen her anywhere else. Perhaps that sounds silly or naïve, but even a cosmopolitan schnauzer like me has a bit of a limited perspective when it comes to certain things. As it turns out, all of my friends who are office volunteers at the church exist outside of that setting. I found this out because we ended up at one of their homes, and lots of the other folks I know were there. My good friends Gail and Susan from the office were there too. I knew from the start this was going to be great because Mom brought my food bowl. We all went in the house and there was a big table piled high with food. It smelled delicious and got my empty tummy to start growling. Oh my, I hope no one thought it was me being mean!
Mom started the chow line and filled my food bowl with wonderfully yummy foods. I started wondering if somehow I had missed that it was my birthday, and this was all for me. Or maybe I was being honored for being the best Episcopalian church dog. Hmmm.
In any case it was a great evening with good friends, good food, and sweet wine – which I refused (so Mom drank my glass). We were sitting around outside, and I noticed when someone’s plate was empty, they would go back inside and come out with a full plate. So I went and scratched at the door, since I couldn’t reach the door handle, and someone let me in, as always happens. Mom finally found me and put more food in my bowl. She instituted the “no ham for the schnauzer rule,” but I got some of everything else.
I still don’t know the reason for the party, or why Mom hasn’t been going to work. I am going to think about that some more while I wait for my supper.
Lexi, the party girl
Dear faithful friends,
If you hit play you will see my life in something called a Power Point Presentation. Mom promises to get music with it soon, but I was so excited that I want you to see it now!
Lexi, the Power Point Schnauzer
February 11, 2014
Have I mentioned how much I love food? Except potato chips. And corn chips. I do not like chips. I don’t understand why people eat chips. But I am glad they do – that leaves more of the good food for me.
So I was at work with Mom and trolling around the office for what I could find of the edible variety. I usually check under my good friend Gail’s desk because there is often food around, albeit stale. Stale is OK as long as it isn’t chips. No luck there, so today I moved on to my good friend Susan’s office. Which is where I hit the mother load. There was a lunch sized white bag under her desk, and what was in it smelled just like I imagine heaven will smell. All yummy goodness. Glancing quickly around, I ascertained that I was, in fact, alone with this bag of delight. Concerned that Susan might be back at any moment, I firmly grabbed the top of the bag with my mouth and lifted it. It had a lovely weight with promises of great delights inside. With said bag gently swinging from my mouth, I started trot, trot, trotting for her office door. I got as far as the hallway and who should appear…time for a change of plans. We both stopped dead in our tracks, Susan with her mouth open, me with mine firmly closed. After only a moment’s pause, I turn on my heels and head for the other exit that goes into the break room, where we normally eat our lunches. Which is where she caught up with me. I opened my mouth and let that bag of deliciousness plop to the floor.
“”Fine, I thought, “you don’t want to share, just be like that. I know you always share with me, so I was just taking the initiative to save you the trouble.”
That’s when the stinger hit, as she said, “Oh Lexi, I always give you half my sandwich, and if you had just been patient, I would have been glad to share my lunch with you. But today you get nothing.”
I still got the pickle.
Lexi, the thieving schnauzer
March 7, 2006
I had the bestest time of my life on Sunday. There are two dogs who run around the neighborhood who are bigger than me, but Mom says they are still puppies. They come in my yard a lot and I see them through the gate. Well, guess who forgot to latch the gate when the garbage got taken to the curb on Sunday? It wasn’t me, but I know how to take advantage of a situation. I went on out and ran, ran, ran with the “puppies.” I ran for a very long time. I ran all over the place. I ran places I had never been before. It was so much fun!
Mom was out driving in the car looking for me when she saw me as I was on my way back home. She got out of the car and ran through yards and grabbed me up and ran back to the car and drove home. Sometimes I really don’t understand the things she does. Then she just sat there and held me and cried. I don’t know why. I was having so much fun, and I tried to tell her I had new friends and I wanted to go back out to play with them some more, but she just carried me in the house and wouldn’t let me back out. She said they would have to come in the fence to play with me from now on.
Well, you will never guess what happened the next day… my new “puppy” friends came over and tried to break me out. They grabbed the gate with their teeth and kept yanking on it to try to get me out, but it didn’t work. Maybe they will come back and try again and we can all go running and playing together again. Maybe Mom won’t cry this time.
My big brother Andrew had a birthday and that is always fun. Andrew and my other big brother Adam and my Grandma and two of my other good friends all came over and we ate ice cream cake. Yumm! Then I took turns sitting on everyone’s laps and getting petted. It was almost as good as me having a birthday, except they all went out to eat without me and I didn’t get any presents. So I guess maybe it wasn’t quite as good. But it was still tons of fun and I want to do it again.
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