Xena’s Poem on Thankful Thursday

My first thankful is for Angel Brian, who is hosting Thankful Thursday, as well as Angel Sammy for the great picture every week! *yawn* I had to get up early this morning, even before breakfast, so Chia couldn’t pull what she did last week, stealing my picture poem! As if I wouldn’t know!Now for the picture and my poem.

New River Apartments (or New Jersey, New York) by Xena

New York City is full with new folks moving there.
There’s no more apartments and just enough air.
The mayor said, “No more!” The Jersey folks, compliant,
Turned back.
But New Jersey refused saying, “No! You’re not fans of the Giants!”

They all hauled their boats to the river named Hudson
After stopping at Costco to buy meat, fruit and onions,
Plus all else they needed for in the river to stay.
Now residents of neither, no state income taxes they pay!

The End

Xena: They shoulda just come to Tennessee. I heard that we don’t have to pay state income taxes here, either.
Lucy: Have you seen the traffic on the way to work and back? It’ cause of all the new apartments going up and all the folks moving outa places where they have hurricanes! They heard it’s nice here, and it is! But I want to get home after work to have my supper and it’s really slowing things down!
Chia: I think that looks like it would be fun to jump from boat to boat, saying hi to everyone and gobbling up whatever food is sitting out!

Xena: Oh wait! I almost forgot about our thankfuls! Let’s see…I’m thankful I got to go to work TWO times last week and again this week! And I’m thankful for the sunshine and time outside with Mommy.

Lucy: I’m also thankful for our time outside. I love to lay in the sun. And I love to run over to the nextdoor neighbors to visit with the kids. (They love me, too!) And I’m thankful that Mom ordered me a new name and phone number tag for my collar. My old one got lost. Hey, what do your tags say?
Xena: Mine says, “Help me, I’m lost.”
Chia: Mine says, “Oh Crap, I’m lost.”
Lucy and Xena: *rolling on ground laughing* Yep, that’s so you, Chia! *still laughing*

Chia: Well, I guess that’s it for today folks. Have a great weekend and don’t get lost!

Chia’s Final July Poetic Thankful Thursday

Let’s start off again with being thankful for Angel Brian, who is hosting Thankful Thursday, as well as Angel Sammy for the picture every week! This was another fun photo that I took the liberty of jumping into, and here’s my poem to go with it.

Sneaking Jacksund by Chia

Tommy thought the shoes were fun.
“Sneakers,” they’re called, for a silent run.
Who was Tommy’s victim to be?
One thing for sure, it won’t be me!

Instead, I snuck up from behind,
Quiet as our mouse (who we still can’t find).
I shouted, “Boo!” Tom lost a shoe,
Then ran real fast to take a poo!
The End.

Xena: BOL, BOL, that was a fun one, Chia. And just think, this is your last poem for your birthday month. I’ve had a restful break and will be taking over again next week. I’m thankful for my early morning walks that we take before me and Mommy go to work. It’s not exactly cool at 6:30 in the morning, but not so hot, either, that I overheat.

Lucy: I love our early morning walks too. And Xena, did you hear Mom talking about meeting up with a couple of the neighborhood dogs at a different neighbor’s house. They’re going to come stay with us for a week and we’re supposed to “get acquainted” on what Mom called “neutral territory.” I think that means not in either of our yards. Instead, another neighbor with a fenced yard is letting us all come there.

Xena: Huh. Not sure about that. How does Mommy know all these people anyhow?

Lucy: She grooms Miss Susan and Miss Nicole’s dogs. And I think we’re in for a lecture about being nice to Miss Susan’s dogs, Sasha the Boxer and Oliver the Pomeranian. As long as no one tries to stick their noses in my butt, I’ll be nice.
Xena: I’ll work on ignoring them. They just need to understand that I’m in charge around here.

Chia: And with that, friends, we’re signing off until next time. *wiggles and wags*

Chia’s Poem on Thankful Thursday

Chia: I’m thankful for Angel Brian, who is hosting Thankful Thursday, as well as Angel Sammy for the fun picture every week. Let’s see what Angel Sammy has in store for us today. Of course my poem – and picture – are added.

Office Cake by Chia

Sheri’s hoping that old guy, Bob, her boss,
Won’t try to reach over and grab her arse.
Connor is thinking this party is lame;
He wants to go play his video game.

Office dog Chia is eyeing the cake,
Planning the fast move she’s going to take.
Boss Bob is lost in his thoughts, diddle dee
And realizes he really must pee.

As Sheri decides to make a quick break
She sees bringing Chia was a big mistake.
Chia’s muzzle deep in the boss’s cake,
Boss Bob reaches over, a quick feel to take.

Now Bob’s in the ER, Sheri has no job.
Chi’s in the shelter with more office dogs.
This story’s lesson is easy to see:
Taking your dog to work doesn’t mean me!

Xena: Yep, we all knew that lesson, Chi girl, although that’s not the reason Mommy doesn’t take you to work. I’m still feeling thankful that Mommy is taking me! And I’m thankful for the 100% grass fed beef I got in my food dish today. And for the strawberries and butternut squash and cauliflower. *drool*

Lucy: I’m thankful I got to go to work on Wednesday this week. The Al Anon folks come in at noon. They all love me and pet me and tell me how special and how pretty and how sweet I am. *smiles*

Chia: I know, Xeboo, Mom doesn’t want me to run out the door when it opens. There’s a real busy street out there. I guess I’m thankful that Mom loves me so much… *whole body wags*
Well, thanks, everyone, for reading my poem and our thankfuls today. Don’t worry, be happy! (I heard that on a song.)

Body Switch by Chia and Thankfuls

Hi folks! *wiggles all over* It’s me, Chia!!! Wow, I had some fun with this picture that Angel Sammy sent us. Oh yeah, that reminds me. Thanks to Angel Brian for hosting Thankful Thursday as well as Angel Sammy for the fun pictures every week. Xena sort of got in on the action, as you will see. Here goes!

Who’s My Dad by Chia
My Mom and Dad went out on a date;
I think it mighta been somethin’ they ate,
But when they returned
I was very concerned.
Were their bodies switched? What makes this their new state?

Mom’s got all the stuff and Dad’s walking so oddly.
Xe’s going with it. I think it’s ungodly.
Maybe it’s witchcraft!
If so, then I think that
We call the priest to end all this folly!

Chia: Wow, I’m thankful MY Mom and Dad haven’t switch bodies. And I’m thankful for getting to go on our family walks every morning with MY Mom and Dad. We go real early before it gets hot.

Xena: First I want you to know that I absolutely would be able to tell if something like that happened to our folks. My Mommy would still pick me up and love on me, and carry me in to bed to sleep with her even if she was in another body, cause she’d still be my Mommy!
I’m thankful she’s still her, though! I’m also thankful for the yummy ground beef we got at several meals this week. And the avocadoes. And the strawberries. And..well, all the good food we get.

Lucy: I’m thankful Mom hasn’t sent me to dirt-a-holics anonymous yet. First, I rolled in it all the time. Now, I can’t seem to stop eating it. She’s threatened to buy a basket muzzle to put on me when I go outside. She did google what causes pups to do that and there were so many things that can cause dogs to eat dirt that it almost made her dizzy. The first one she’s trying is feeding me more of my regular food. I can get behind that! (Or in front of it, as the case may be.)
Oh, yes, I’m also thankful Mom’s still taking me to work with her on Thursdays. (She wipes my mouth off before we get in the car.) I’m being very, very good, too! (There’s no dirt to eat there, but that’s not really what I meant about being good.)

Chia: Ok, Lucy Deucy, we’re gonna call it a day. Everyone have a great Thankful Thursday!

Lucy’s Dr. Seuss Day

This says, “Today you are you that is truer than true. There is no one alive that is youer than you. ~Dr Seuss” Sometimes it seems like everyone wants me to be someone else. Or at least it feels that way, and I end up trying to please everyone. That usually doesn’t make everyone happy, especially not me. I think I will just be me, and love everybody for who they really are, too. Will you be my friend today?

Happy Dr. Seuss Day, my friends.

Wags and wiggles,

Lucy

Pee S. Please go to Jakey’s blog to join in the blog hop. Bad Mr. WordPress won’t let us link everything from here.

Xena’s Dr. Seuss Day

I found out that this saying by Dr. Seuss is so true! Mommy likes to throw some of the food that she cuts up in the kitchen to me and Lucy. Sometimes it is veggies, sometimes fruit, sometimes meat *drool*. Anyhoo, I used to throw my head up to catch mine, but I would flinch and close my eyes. I always missed it when I did that. I learned that I have a much better chance of catching my food if I can just keep my eyes open. I think that has come with getting braver. But sometimes you just have to shut your eyes and hope you don’t miss any food.

Happy Dr. Seuss Day, everyone!

Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess

You can visit Mr. Jakey’s website to join the blog hop or just to visit others who are also blogging about Dr. Seuss Day. Mean old Mr. WordPress won’t let us linky up. *grr*

 

Garage Selling with Mommy

Friday I was the official garage sale pup. Since my dear friend Mr. Purrince Henry taught me how to count, I was able to help Mommy know what number to put on the stickers with that funny $ in front of them. 

The first thing to sell 87 minutes before the sale even opened was Santa Claus.  Nothing else in this picture sold at all today, but lots of other stuff we don’t have pictures for did. I laid sweetly in Mommy’s lap and let everyone pet me. I was what is called the PR Dog. I even helped Mommy get a new dog to groom, a Bishon Frise. The nice man is going to make an appointment because the last place he took Max – Max is his dog’s name – they cut all the hair off his tail. I don’t see the problem, but if it gets Mommy a new dog to groom, that’s good.

I got rewarded with blueberries. When Mommy closed the box, I pushed it all over the driveway, but couldn’t get it opened. Mommy said I had to do a little more work for pay, so we worked on my newest Agility Won exercises. I had to sit still and not get up or scoot while Mommy walked away from me (with the blueberries), then walked back right past me, circling around my tail end, and then around to my front. I moved my head to follow her, but that’s all, just like I was supposed to do. Mommy said I was a very good girl and I got more blueberries. Not too many, though, ’cause too many gives me the squirts…blue squirts.

There was so much stuff left that we are going to do it all again Saturday. My peeps brother Adam is going to help while Mommy grooms three dogs.

That reminds me, but I am going to whisper so Mommy doesn’t hear me telling you. Last Sunday she was sitting in the window chair in the front room and started feeling something stinging her back. It got her really good, and around on her belly too. When she lifted her shirt, a fire ant dropped, and she thought it fell into her pants. So right there she stripped off all… oh never mind, Lucy is making the cut motion with her paw. Anyhow, Slider and Peyton came to get groomed, and even though the bites were swollen up like lakes, she went downstairs to groom them. Pretty soon she used her phone to call Daddy who was upstairs and told him she needed benadryl right away, and being a good Daddy he put down his work and brought her some. A little while later, after Slider had his bath and she had cut Peyton’s nails, she lifted Peyton off the table and Mommy laid down on the floor because she was starting to faint. She managed to get Daddy on the phone again, and he came down and took her to the medi-clinic place. (Side note: Mommy managed to call the pups’ Mom and left the door unlocked so she could come get them.) She was able to get up and get in the car and laid the seat back. Gross alert! She was mostly almost-fainted on the way there, even when she started to throw up. Since she was laying back and almost fainted, she also mostly missed the bag, and there was a big puddle in her lap. Now here is the My Daddy is a Hero part. He didn’t faint and he didn’t puke. Instead, he got her to the doctor’s. In the parking lot he took off his shirt, pulled an old pair of his jeans from the trunk, and helped her get changed into his clothes in the car so she could go into the doctor place – looking like a homeless person. Then he drove home and got dressed and brought Mommy clothes to change into. Don’t I have the bestest Daddy is the whole world? Oh yeah, Lucy said I should tell you Mommy was fine after that. She was feeling so much better that she said her usual No! when the doctor tried to give her prednisone, he, he. So anyhow, Slider and Peyton are coming back tomorrow to get groomed.

OK, OK, I know this is getting long and there’s no pictures, so you can stop reading if you want, but I have more to whisper to you. Two days later Mommy took us back to the dog park. She was loading the poop bag dispenser with plastic bags from home when something bit or stung the top of her hand. At first it hurt a lot and then redness started spreading all over her hand and wrist. She still stayed and let us play – which wasn’t as much fun ’cause there were hardly any other dogs there – and took another bennie when we got home. Whoops, Lucy said I should say benadryl so you don’t think Mommy is a drug addict or something like that. Anyhow, within a couple of hours, her hand and wrist were swollen up like a fat glove. You couldn’t even see any of the wrinkle in it. Shhh, don’t tell her I said that! She couldn’t even make a fist or hold onto stuff. The next day the redness had creeped up her arm, so she made the decision to go back to the same medi place. This time she accepted a shot of steroids in one hip and a shot of antie biotics in the other hip ’cause the doc said she had both inflammation and infection. It took until Friday for her hand to look normal again, and she is taking antie biotics and preds and probiotics and eating lots of yummy yogurt, even though nothing tastes good now. She’s not sleeping much but she is peeing a lot and hungry all the time. Maybe that’s why she doesn’t like the medicine. Although I am hungry all the time without any medicine.  Lucy just mentioned that this is turning into a novel, so I should say goodbye now.

Oh, and could you please just say something in the comments about me helping with the yard sale and not this part about Mommy ’cause I don’t want her to know I told you. ‘K?

Xena the Garage Selling Schnauzer Warrior Princess

A Cone without Ice Cream

Do you remember when Mommy and I almost died in an almost car wreck? And then I was banished to the back seat with a seat belt harness? I hated it soooo much, I shook so hard every time we went somewhere that my teeth started to get loose. OK, maybe not, but I thought they did. We now have a compromise. I still have to wear my seat belt harness, but I get to sit in the front seat. Mommy checked about the dangerous airbags, and they only work if there is at least 50 pounds on the seat. Since I am only 13 and one half pounds, no problemo. Hey Mommy, where are we going?

Mommy: To the vet. The one you like.

Why are we going to the vet, the one I like?

Mommy: Because you have been shaking your head and flapping your ears, and I can’t find anything wrong. Your ears are as clean as a whistle, and…

How clean are whistles?

Mommy: Very clean, Xexe, just like your ears. And now you have a sore under your left ear. You know I put lavender essential oils on it for 2 days, and yesterday I used the Vet-tech Sea Salt spray, and it isn’t any better. It keeps seeping. 

40 minutes later (the car ride is almost 30 minutes each way): Dr. Smith said the same thing you did about my ears being super dooper clean. I wish my favorite vet, Dr. Karen, had been there. Thanks for stopping the helper lady from putting that glass stick up my butt.

Mommy: I had to. I didn’t bring my earplugs.

And when Dr. Smith said he wanted me to take prednisone – whatever that is – you said, “No” again. And then you were nicer about saying no to the next medicine, and the next…

Mommy: I just suggested some other things, and he said they would work just as well for a hot spot. And I already have the sea salt spray, so we didn’t have to buy more. 

But I know I saw you give them your plastic money!

Mommy: Yep. I paid $54 for them to tell me you have a hot spot and that I can just keep doing what I was already doing. *mumble, mumble*

30 minutes later: Hey Lucy, I went to see the vet lady but she wasn’t there so I saw the vet man and guess what? Lucy: I don’t know, Sis, what did the vet man say?

He said I am a hot spot, just like when Daddy uses his phone to get on the internet. I bet I could save Daddy a lot of money.

Lucy: Better look behind you, Xena…your tale is growing.

My tail doesn’t grow, silly Lucy Ducey. He wanted me to take medicine, but Mommy suggested I eat ice cream instead. I am still waiting for it.

Lucy: That doesn’t make any sense. I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Well, I kept my head down under Mommy’s arm most of the time, so I couldn’t hear real well. But I know she said something about a cone instead of even more medicine.

10 minutes later: Why are you doing these things to me? Where is my ice cream?Mommy: You’re not supposed to scratch your boo boo, so I am trying a big band-aid before I have to get the cone. What ice cream?Lucy: I don’t think you have it on her right, Mom. 

I want my ice cream.

I am Xena, the Schnauzer Warrior Princess with a big cone and no ice cream.

Guests?

Lucy: So, Xena, what do you think of the new dogs in the house? They’ve been here over a week. I wonder if that means we are keeping them.

Xena: They do look familiar. I think Mommy grooms them. But they won’t play with me. I try and try. I grab their stuffies and shake them in their faces and run, and nothing. Then I do the same with my stuffies.  Nothing.

Lucy: That’s ’cause Maggie is 10 years old. But I did see her chewing on your new birthday bully horn.

                                                      Who? Me?

Xena: That’s not exactly a group activity. So I took it away from her. ‘Cause it’s mine. And she can’t have it.

Lucy: And Dora forgets who Dad is and barks at him every day when he gets home from work.

Xena: Maybe that’s what happens when you turn nine.

                                                         Who are you?

Lucy: Just before their folks left, I heard their Dad mumble something about Dora not being the brightest bulb in the lamp. 

Xena: Well, they have just about stolen our Mommy and Daddy. 

Is that good, Maggie? A little more to the left, Mr. Jeff.

Lucy: I don’t mind Mom sleeping in the other bedroom with them. That means I can sleep in the big bed with Dad all night long. 

Mom and Dad are coming for us today. I am so outa’ here.

We are Lucy and Xena the Schnauzer Warrior Princess, the ONLY permanent resident dogs in our house.

We’re Not Water Breeds

Why does Mom think either one of us is part lab or even Goldens, like Bonnie, Belle and Bessie over at Three Pups and a Couple of Kittens. They love their new pool!

You don’t see the part where Mom “helped” me into the pool. I just kept on going, right out the other side.

Mom was able to get a full refund.

Love and wiggles, a (still) dry Lucy

Co-Authoring Hodge Podge

Xena: Lucy and I decided to try to write something together, as co-authors. You know, like Stephen King and Dean Koontz. Yep, that’s us; I’ll be King and Lucy can have Koontzies, he, he, he.

Lucy: Xena, sometimes you just give me a headache.

Xena: Did you know Mommy went and  paid to have her boobies squished? I try to do that for free for her every morning when I catch her laying on her back, but all she does is groan and turn over. Sheesh. I’ll try again tomorrow to see if she has suddenly decided she likes it. Just like she keeps putting coconut oil in my food bowl to see if I changed my mind about eating it. I bet her answer will be the same as mine.

Lucy: Maybe that’s why Mom rubbed the coconut oil all over you, since you won’t eat it.Xena: Not that it did me any good with you licking it all off of me. I couldn’t get away from you, and the folks were laughing too hard to help me.

Lucy: I heard Mom say now you know what it feels like when you lick off all the lotion she puts on her hands or legs.

Xena: Yeah, well…I like my new kennel. It’s right by the back door window so I can look outside whenever I want. And you can’t bother me or take my stuff. It’s my safe place. Lucy: You mean so you can take my stuff! I could come in there if I wanted to…I just don’t want to. *harumph* And oh yeah, I almost forgot. You go brain-dead when you’re near that kennel.

Xena: Do not, Lucy the Koontzie!

Lucy: Do too! You were playing in your kennel when Dad got home the other night and you went crazy, jumping up and down with your pogo stick legs, and screaming for him to get you out. You forgot the door was open!

Xena: Well, I…

Lucy: Oh, oh, and what about last week when the kennel door was open and you were digging at the side to try to get Brownie Bear out? All you had to do was walk in and get him!

Xena: Hey, can anyone guess what’s all over my face? Clue: I just ate lunch.It’s in my mouth, too, he, he. OK, here’s a better picture…Did you guess white wall paper? If so, you’re wrong! Ha, ha, ha. Did you guess egg shell? Yes! Mommy got some farm-fresh eggs at the farmers market over the weekend. If you guessed right, you won an all-expense paid trip to…

Lucy: Xena! Stop! You can’t promise something that you can’t deliver!

Xena: I’m not delivering, silly Lucy with Koontzies. They have to go there themselves.

Lucy: This headache is getting worse. I’m going to put on my happy face, pretend I didn’t hear that, and sing everyone a song, just like you did, Xena *whispers* only better.Is everyone ready? (Oh, I’m a bit nervous.) Here we go. All y’all can sing along if you want.

(Warning: turn down your sound)

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

I come home in the morning light
My mother says when you gonna live your life right
Oh mother dear we’re not the fortunate ones
And girls they wanna have fun
Oh girls just want to have fun
The phone rings in the middle of the night
My father yells what you gonna do with your life
Oh daddy dear you know you’re still number one
But girls they wanna have fun
Oh girls just want to have
That’s all they really want
Some fun
When the working day is done
Oh girls, they wanna have fun
Oh girls just wantna have fun (girls and boys wanna have fun, girls wanna have)
Some boys take a beautiful girl
And hide her away from the rest of the world
I want to be the one to walk in the sun
Oh girls they wanna have fun
Oh girls just wanna have
That’s all they really want
Some fun
We are Xena and Lucy (and I don’t have Koontzies)

Cave of the Clan Bears Part 2

Xena: Ludwig, I’m sorry it had to come to this. The All eye ants (see previous post) will be here soon to deal with you.

Ludwig: mmphmph…mmmmm.

Xena: Don’t worry, no one is going to hurt you. Oh, here they all are now.Brownie: Is it time now, Xena?

Xena: Yep. Let him have it!

Ludwig: *screaming* Mmmmmmphh!

Brownie: Even though you don’t have a honey…

Sweetheart: or a sweetheart…

Winter: or any fois gras…

Rainbow: or furs of many colors…

Everyone: God loves you!

Xena: We want to be your friends. We think that’s what’s best for everyone, including you. And no more hanky panky. What do you say?

Ludwig: Mmmph. Mmm hmmm.

Xena: I let him loose. Don’t let him get out yet.

Ludwig: *sob* Ok, I’ll tell you the truth. My Mom and Pop came over on the boat from Germany, but I was born in Boston. That’s why I sound funny to you Southern Bears…and, uh, to the bunny over there in the corner. And I know some German from my folks. What I said about being lonely, that’s true. I’m new to town, and don’t know anyone ’cause I work all the time. I just thought…*sob*

Sweetheart: Awww, don’t cry, Ludwig. We forgive you. 

Winter: And you can play with us and be our friend. 

Brownie: And part of the All lie ants.

Xena: And I will ask Mommy to release you from printer guard duty so you can spend time with your new friends.

Sweetheart: I don’t like being a lying ant.

Xena: Consider the All lie ants dissolved. We will all be best friends.Don’t worry, Ludwig. Lucy won’t really eat you. As long as we are all telling the truth now, I have a confession to make…I was jealous and didn’t want you hanging around my sister. Lucy will be the best friend you ever had! Hey everyone! Welcome Ludwig to our family!

I am Xena, the Schnauzer Warrior Princess

Cave of the Clan Bears

Xena: Thank you all for coming. Actually, I didn’t realize this many bears lived in my house. Anyhow let’s get started. Rainbow, why don’t you tell us what happened at work.Rainbow: Well, Mommy packed me up and took me with her to keep you company. When you left the room, Ludwig jumped down off Mommy’s printer and sidled up to me in your bed. He said you just wanted to be his friend so it was ok. Then he said such nice things to me, I felt all warm and cuddly.

Xena: That’s ’cause you are warm and cuddly, Rainbow.

Rainbow: Oh. So that didn’t mean he is my boyfriend?

Xena: No. And now that you know you don’t need Ludwig to feel good about yourself, do you still want him to be your boyfriend?

Rainbow: Nuh uh.

Xena: Great, I’ll take that as a no. Then let’s make a plan. I learned from a show Mommy was watching that we can form an all lie ants. 

Brownie: What’s that? Is it good to eat, like honey? Xena: No. It’s a dish served cold, like revenge. 

Winter: I’m the biggest bear here. I could set up a table and serve it to him with a little foie gras on the side. That’s served cold too. And maybe some fresh…

Xena: No, no, no! Sweetheart, you come with me to work and lure him back to the house with your heart that says.. uh, Mommy, what does Sweetheart’s heart say?

Mommy: It says “Sweetheart.” What are y’all up to?Xena with bears

Xena: Uh, nothing. I mean, just playing.

Sweetheart: We are all lying ants.

Mommy: *scrunches forehead* Huh? Oh, never mind. Has anyone seen my glasses? I can’t find my glasses. *walks away*

Xena and Bears: *whispers and giggles*

To be continued…

Caught!

You are a soft, lovely Bär with many colors, while I, Herr Ludwig, am only a boring gray.

Ludwig! What are you doing with Rainbow?Prinzessin Xena, I didn’t expect you back so soon.

Obviously not! Get. Out. Of. My. Bed.

Oh, you cannot mean that, my love. You know my affection for you runs deep. I was just, umm, I was just……(whispering) I was just telling Rainbow about my wunderbar visit with you and your family over the Easter holiday. Yes! That is what I was doing.

And you, Rainbow, tell me what happened while I was gone.Ludwig is my boyfriend. He said I have beautiful furs.

You scoundrel Ludwig! I should rip off your ear!

Mommy: Xena! Don’t bite Ludwig. Ludwig! Get out of Xena’s bed, now!

I still love you, my Prinzessin.

No, no you don’t! Just go and leave me be. Rainbow, you get out, too.And stay out!

When there are no words…

 

Xena’s Visitor

Xena: Hi Ludwig. Why are you wearing my walking vest?

It is because Das Mommy has invited me home for Easter holiday.

Xena: Really? That’s great! You’ll get to meet my big sister Lucy and, and (quietly) you might like her…more than you like me… and then… No, no, Ludwig, you wouldn’t like it at my house at all! Not at all! Lucy might eat you. You’ve gotta tell Mommy you can’t come. But that would be rude, lovely Prinzessin. You must not ask me to do that.

A few minutes later…

Xena: So this is my car, Herr Ludwig. It’s name is T-Lex after my Angel Sister Lexi. It goes really fast, but you mustn’t be afraid. You can look out the windows and see other cars and people and buildings and all kinds of stuff.

This is fun, Prinzessin Xena. I would like to have a T-Lex also.  It is wunderbar.

Xena: Ludwig, wake up! We’re almost home.

Xena: First the important stuff. This is the toy basket. Those are my toys. Understand? My toys.I have no need of toys, beautiful Xena. After all, I have you.

Lucy: Who is your friend, Xena? Can I play with him?

Xena: No! Er, I mean, I’m showing Ludwig around, so please don’t bother us right now. Why don’t you go see if our supper is ready? And ask Mommy to set a place for Ludwig, too.

 

3 hours later…

Xena: What am I gonna do, Lucy?I don’t know, Xena. He’s your problem. You brought him home and told me to stay away from him. All I know is this is my bed and you can’t sleep here.

I am Xena, the Schnauzer Warrior Princess with nowhere to lay my head.