Xena: You simply won’t believe what happened.
Lucy: Is that because you make things up so often?
Xena: No! It’s because it’s, it’s…oh never mind, I just want to tell what happened. And it’s true. Every word of it. You’re not going to believe this. *hop, hop*
Mommy’s friend’s name is Laurie. Miss Laurie has Eefah (OK, so that’s not how it’s really spelled, but that’s what it sounds like, and I’m goin’ with it.) She’s a really nice Soft-coated Wheaten Terrier. Miss Laurie brings Eefah to be groomed every 6 weeks and her and Mommy talk the whole time. It’s something like 87 hours. This is Eefah after going home from being groomed.
Lucy: Xena, this falls in the “Lucy Ace Reporter on the Groom Beat” category. What does this have to do with the offi…
Xena: Shhh, I’m telling the story, Lucy. So anyhow, Miss Laurie brought a bottle of…wait for it…whiskey to work. Did I mention that Miss Laurie works in the office next to Mommy’s? Anyhoo, it was for some event they were having, or so it was said. Mommy wanted to try it. Scandal! Drinking alcohol at work! So the office – in fact, the whole building – got closed – and…
Lucy: Hold up. That is not why the building got closed!
Xena: Well, how do you know? How do you know that the whole story about the building being something called structurally unsound was the real reason. Maybe it was a cover up to the scandal? Maybe…
Tennessee Whiskey Bottle: Hold up there, you crazy schnauzer. Do you really think that one little ole sip of me could close the entire building and make everyone have to work somewhere else? Do you think that they would have spent thousands of dollars for months and months — before the “alleged” scandal happened — trying to quantify the damage from the soil shifting that caused cracks and mold in the building? You are one loco pup with a big imagination. I get around, and I hear things. It was the terrible drought followed by the torrential rains that finally did it in. That bad soil the synagogue was built on finally did a real bad shift and now it is unsafe to be in there. Now stop telling tall tails, or even short tales, you little terrier with a giant imagination, and maybe some day you’ll even be allowed a wee sip of me.
Xena: *bewildered look* Uh, as I was trying to say, the office is now in the bottom floor of our home. That area is something called an “in-law suite.” I wonder where the “out-laws” get to sleep, BOL! With no 40 minute commute, Mommy gets to sleep later and work in her casual clothes. Of course, that also means we get our breakfast later, and I don’t like that at all. I jump in bed and nudge under her neck, trying to get her up to feed me, er, us.
And Miss Brooke, who is the Office Assistant and only lives a few minutes away comes to our house to work. She got her own key and everything. We get to stay in the office with them all day and get pet and I lay in Mommy’s lap a lot. Miss Brooke really likes us both and says we are very good pups. And I don’t have to stay in my kennel any more. Of course, that also means I don’t get my treat puzzle, either. That’s another thing that falls in the not good column, but I really do like having Mommy home all day.
Lucy: And now Mom is home when we think we should get our supper. I remind her by poking her with my nose. Me and Xena, we used to synchronize our pokes to Dad to let us out and give us treats, with Xena standing under me. He says we look like a 2-headed Cerberus like that. Now he shuts his home office door. He says his leg was starting to bruise and he wasn’t getting any work done, either. One day last week I stuck my head under Mom’s leg while she was sitting in her work chair and tried to lift her up so she would come feed us. It surprised her, but it didn’t work.
Miss Brooke’s own dog, Hank, has started coming with her. Every time I see Hank, I try to make up with him, but he doesn’t seem to want to be friends. I’ll keep trying, like I did with Riley, and I know he will eventually be my friend.
Xena: Hank’s afraid of me. Mommy says it’s cause I bark at him. Isn’t that barkalishis? I’m only 15 pounds to his 45 pounds. He must know I’m a Schnauzer Warrior Princess. I invite him to play every time he is here, but he always says no way Hose Aye. My name isn’t Hose Aye. He must have me mixed up with some chihuahua he knows. Mommy got Angel Lexi’s bed from the attic for him to lay on. But when he’s not here on Wednesdays and Thursdays…
We keep Mommy and Miss Brooke company and give them moral support. All day.
We are Lucy and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess at work.
On the left is the picture their mom took, and on the right is the painted portrait.
Lucy, Ace Reporter here, with news on the Groom Beat. Not too long ago I reported about Mom’s record setting six hour groom. If you missed that one, you can read about it 
She climbed up on the top ledge of the sink! That was another first. We can’t wait to see what happens in six weeks when she comes back for her third professional groom. Oh, and it only took three hours, this time. Maybe next time will be even shorter, ya think?
Why is this mess good, you may ask. This is Maggie. Previously, we asked for POTP for her Mom, who was battling breast cancer. During the final stages of the battle (wait, don’t cry yet, it’s good, I promise) Maggie didn’t have time to come for a groom, and ended up looking like this when she came a couple of weeks ago.
Her Mom had been going through reconstructive surgery and is better now. She didn’t even have to do something called chemo. We want to thank everyone for all the POTP’s that helped give this story a happy 
Do you recognize Maggie (L) and Dora? No, no, they’re not bad. They’ve been coming to us for years and we know and love them. Here’s the bad: their grandpa died and their grandma is not handling it well. It’s causing a lot of stress with their folks which, of course, trickles down to them. We know that some of you have recently lost close relatives and close friends, too, so you can empathize with Maggie and Dora. POTP for their family, please.
Roxxii is pretty adorable, right? It’s what happened in her family that is so ugly. Her Mom’s boyfriend died suddenly, and her Mom was right in the other room when it happened. They are young people, and no one should ever feel so bad that they should die like that. Her Mom is having a real, real hard time right now, so we ask for lots of POTP for her, too. Because she isn’t in a good condition to keep Roxxii brushed, she asked Mom to just shave her hair short. Mom thought she might get cold, so she gave her Xena’s first-ever hoodie,
It’s too small for you now, Xena. That means you can’t wear it cause it doesn’t fit you anymore. Our Mom was wondering what to do with it, and this seemed like a good way to pass on the love you always felt when you wore it.
She kissed Mom and sang about how good it felt to be groomed. Can you see her tail wagging?
Her mom, Laurie, warned Mom that Aoife had some mats, and it turned out that her mom had no idea just how matted she was. Mom was determined to save Aoife’s coat, and spent hours de-matting her while she and Laurie gabbed about anything and everything. They even came upstairs and had cups of tea while Aoife was under the dryer. Laurie is a good petter, by the way, and said I am beautiful and sweet. 🙂 After drying Aoife, Mom found a bunch more mats and got back to work. The long blade on the clippers wouldn’t go through her hair, so Aoife got a scissor cut and gave Mom lots and lots of sloppy kisses. Miss Laurie sent us this picture from her house. We have no idea how Aoife’s hair got standing up on her head, ’cause it wasn’t like that when, at 5:30 pm – six hours after she had arrived – Mom declared her finished.
Landry was at the vet in October, and you can see on his back where the techs there tried to shave him down. They said they couldn’t do any more and stopped. From October to now, that hair has never grown. When he came to Mom, his legs, tail, ears and face were completely matted, some clear down to the skin. Urine and feces were in his back leg hair. Landry didn’t want groomed, and he kept trying to bite Mom. Even a muzzle wasn’t enough – he was going crazy. Super Hero Dad to the rescue! Dad held Landry while Mom shaved him all over, even his face. He got a good bath and ended up looking like this. 
Mom had to muzzle him to shave his legs and feet, but Super Hero Dad did not have to be called. You can’t really tell from his “after” picture, but Dallas is also very overweight.
Mom brushed Bonnie for a whole hour, using a dematter, a horse curry comb, and a slicker brush. She thinks she brushed enough hair off to make another dog. Bonnie also had to be muzzled for her feet with Super Hero Dad holding her, too.
I don’t know if I am supposed to say when Mom has favorites, but I am going to tell this time. Bonnie Blue stole Mom’s heart. Doesn’t she look happy after her groom? She even gave Mom a thank you kiss on the nose. Unfortunately, under all that clean fur is another fat, er, overweight dog.
Her Mom (Anne) is an expert organ player and knows my Mom from when Mom worked at St. Luke. Anne usually grooms Maddie, but sometimes she needs an expert groomer’s touch. The holidays were so busy that Maddi got pretty madded, or matted, and Mom’s touch was needed. Xena and I got to come in the groom room and be with them, but Xena couldn’t stop her yapper so I took her upstairs. Before long, Mom was done and Maddie had her bath they all came upstairs too. Xena and I sort of played with Maddie while the peeps visited over lunch. On the way back downstairs, Xena was on one side of me and Maddie on the other when they decided to (almost) get in a fight and barked and lunged at each other right underneath my belly! That sure was a moment I don’t want to repeat. Lucy, signing off from the Groom Beat, with my guts still intact.
XOXOXO Your niece, Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess
Good thing I don’t mind getting groomed.
Her Mom had to leave her for three hours while she worked, so Roxxii came upstairs to stay with us.
I had been wondering when I would get groomed again. I knew I was way overdue. My back hairs stood up like a crazy clown’s hair when they were rubbed the wrong way. My hair does need to be kept pretty as befits a princess, even a warrior princess, right?
Are we done? No bath today? Woo hoo!
One more, and look a little more interested?
Hey everyone, look at all my hair on the table! I am so interested in what you think! Can I have a cookie now, Mommy?
Hey Daddy can I get a glass of that special stuff in the schnauzer bottle? Maybe just a little? As compensation for being groomed? No? Another cookie, then?
Hi Friends, today’s episode of Grooming with Mommy is brought to you by Ace Reporter Lucy on the grooming beat. This picture is from over a year ago when Pete first started coming to Mom. Our folks know each other from church.
before after
“Hey Lucy, I think that’s my Momma coming up the road!”
“Nope. I sure wish she would get here. I like you and Miss Amy, but I need to go home and take a nap.”
Hi Friends, and welcome to another episode of Grooming with Mom. Our pup this week is a 10-week-old cockapoo and this was his first groom. Here is Benny after his bath. 
He’s just a baby, and he got scared, so Mom brought in the big dog to help calm him (me). I was real sweet and told him everything would be ok, and that I would be laying on the floor right next to the table in case he needed anything. That did seem to help a lot. Benny’s granddad brought a picture that Benny’s Mom sent for how she wanted him groomed. 
NOTE: This is NOT Benny. This is an actor.
His ears are crazy fuzzy ’cause the hair is still growing in on them. Mom isn’t super happy with the results. Benny didn’t care. He was so exhausted that he laid down on the table and fell asleep while he waited for his peeps to come get him. I stayed there as I promised until the car pulled into the drive, then I went upstairs to check on Xena.
Hi friends, and welcome to today’s edition of Grooming with Mom. Today I want to introduce Max the bishon frise. Here’ an 
Mom forgot to take a “before” picture, so here are two “after” pics. Mom spent the first 40 minutes of this groom working mats out of Max’s ears, and from under his ears and his head. I guess she could have just shaved them *shrug* but she’s smarter than that. She just did the work and charged more, BOL! His dad didn’t mind paying more, and even gave her a tip. It’s going to take time to grow out his face and tail to how they should look, but he’s only 8 years old…there’s time.
You groomed my dog how?!
and “after.”.Sophie thanked Mom with nose kisses.
Cray-cray, right? Here he is all groomed and bathed. 
Nothing else in this picture sold at all today, but lots of other stuff we don’t have pictures for did. I laid sweetly in Mommy’s lap and let everyone pet me. I was what is called the PR Dog. I even helped Mommy get a new dog to groom, a Bishon Frise. The nice man is going to make an appointment because the last place he took Max – Max is his dog’s name – they cut all the hair off his tail. I don’t see the problem, but if it gets Mommy a new dog to groom, that’s good.
Mommy said I had to do a little more work for pay, so we worked on my newest Agility Won exercises. I had to sit still and not get up or scoot while Mommy walked away from me (with the blueberries), then walked back right past me, circling around my tail end, and then around to my front. I moved my head to follow her, but that’s all, just like I was supposed to do. Mommy said I was a very good girl and I got more blueberries. Not too many, though, ’cause too many gives me the squirts…blue squirts.
Andrew was right, right? Mom said that Roxxii is a very good girl. Mom’s thinking maybe a scissor cut next time would be more attractive, but it will be whatever Roxxii and her Mom want. Well, mostly what her Mom wants. When Roxxii was done, she looked like this:
Her Mom was so happy that she asked if she should bring her back in two weeks. My Mom tried not to laugh when she said she thought six weeks might be just about right. 
Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess with Lucy and Chia 