Tag: dog

Theatre: Riley out, Lexi not in either

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December 14, 2012
Here’s an update on the Riley might be on the stage fiasco. HE DIDN’T GET THE PART. Big surprise there. (Yes, we schnauzers understand sarcasm.) The really big surprise is that I didn’t get the part as Sandy in Annie, either. So what I didn’t audition. They should have known! Considering my considerable stage experience and talent, not to mention my last name is Sandy, I simply can’t believe it. What I do believe is that I hear the mismatched mixed breed that was chosen is bombing. I don’t mean to besmirch anyone’s reputation – he’s doing a good enough job of it on his own – but it seems that he’s afraid to be on the stage and won’t go to Annie, even when she implores him with treats in hand. Sure, I’m a bit short in stature, but if you remember my motto (one of many) “You’re as big as you think you are,” then you know I would have been perfect for the part. Everyone would have seen me as a big dog because that’s how I would have played the role! Heck, I already played Toto as a BOY and a CAIRN TERRIER.

Maybe next time…

Lexi Sandy, not Annie’s Sandy

RILEY’S DIARY: Sandy Audition

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November 13, 2012
Hi friends! I had an audition last night! Not sure what that was all about, but Mom said I could be Sandy, which really confused me since that is already my name – Riley Sandy. Who can understand these people sometimes. But I got to go in front of people and do stuff like sit and say, and I know I did good because I got treats. I showed them all how much I liked them by jumping on them. The little girl looked kind of alarmed, so when she was done singing to me, I put my front paws on her and tried to lick her face. I also tried to get the treat she was holding because I think she forgot to give it to me.

Lexi came with us and when people asked with a laugh if she was auditioning I knew it was because she had been Toto and everyone loves her. Mom explained she was too small, but she was here as my talent agent. Everyone laughed again except Lexi. She scowled at me a lot. I wonder if that is what talent agents do.

I hope I get to go back and be famous like Lexi. I love you.

Riley

Riley in Theater? How could this be!

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November 13, 2012
Yesterday Mom dropped Riley off at day care and brought me to work, and at that point I thought the world was still turning the right direction on its axis. I had a good day at the church even though it was a Monday and the Quilters were not there. There were still lots of treats from other quarters.

Then we went to get Riley after work, which was still the norm. Where we went next was surprising but pleasant. Mom drove us to the Theatre Centre, a place of many happy memories for me. I not only gave stunning performances there in my role as Toto, I have also presented awards, received an award, and attended performances at other plays there. It’s sort of like my alma mater. So far so good. There was even someone there with a microphone doing interviews and she was naturally more interested in me that anyone else. I really didn’t understand why Riley was with us, other than he didn’t have anywhere else to go, probably because no one wanted him. Mom told her all about my stint in the Wizard of Oz with several amusing antidotes. I know the reporter will have some good material there. Perhaps she will come back wanting a picture, my head shot for instance.

It was what happened next that sent my world spinning. We went into the rehearsal room to audition, just like I did five years ago when I got the part of Toto. I heard Riley’s name called and Mom tied me to a chair. Everyone had made a terrible mistake. Surely they didn’t actually want that big red bumbling mutt. Oh, the injustice! The travesty! What has this world come to! I tried to drag the chair out to the center of the room to make sure they saw me and realized their horrendous error. Someone grabbed my leash and stopped me. Pulled up short I barked and was ignored. Then Riley proceeded to embarrass me as he usually does. While it is true that he sat nicely and stayed and came when told, and while it is also true that he gave quite a nice bow, he was jumping all over people and I think he may have even frightened the little darling who was sent out to be his victim. Just when I thought she had had enough, someone brought her a chair, where she sat and sang prettily to him. He didn’t exactly sit still while she sang, but when she was done he did show her how much he appreciated her singing by groveling all over her. I don’t think she liked that either. He does weigh quite a bit you know, far more than a one stone schnauzer. In fact, he is probably at least three stones plus a lot of pebbles thrown in.

When all the dogs except me were done auditioning we were told that there were more dogs auditioning tomorrow and everyone would be notified of the results. Now that I have had more time to think about it, I am thinking that they will simply call me to come be the star without even so much as an audition since they already know what an awesome performance I give. They must just be doing this stupid human thing of being “fair” but I think it is just building up false hopes.

I will wait for the call and act surprised when Mom tells me I got the part. He, he. Won’t all those other dogs be surprised!

Lexi, the thespian

Therapy Dog Supreme

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November 9, 2012
Hello my underlings and ardent admirers. After several years off from the physical therapy hospital for adult people, I have made a come-back. It wasn’t quite all I had hoped for, but it sure beat lying around the house listening to Riley lick his paws. I close my eyes, but I can still hear him. I digress.

I may have mentioned how much I love going to the children’s hospital. Those kids are neatly tucked away in their beds – most of the time – and I sit on the soft mattress and allow them to pet me. Sometimes there is a rogue one in the hallway and I always put on my best therapy dog face and try to make them smile. Of course, I am always, and I mean always, smiling when I am there. The place smells like food – I seem to get there just after breakfast and before lunch and the odors are lingering, coming and going you might say. And everyone makes over me and pets me and says what a wonderful dog I am and wants to know all about me. I think mom should bring my bio and the Oz program and my Annie theatre award, but she seems content to just hand out my calling card. It has a rather flattering picture of me and some of my more important stats as well as pointing folks to my web page. Again, I digress.

So I smile my doggie smile, not just because of the wonderful food smells, but also because I know I am doing something good. I can get kids to smile, too, kids who have been crying up to the time they see me. I think they are sick, and maybe hurting, but just the sight of my beautiful bearded face cheers them. I know you must be saying, “Is this really Lexi the schnauzer talking?” It does sound so unlike me. Confession time: I do have an altruistic side that likes to make people happy, especially kids and old people. Mom says I am a gift from God to spread joy. Personally, I like the black raspberry spread, but joy seems good too, especially when it ends in a treat for me.

I will get back to you on how this newest therapy job progresses. I go again next month

Love and joy to all of you.

Lexi, therapy dog supreme

Rocktober Fest Week Two

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October 17, 2012
Hello again my faithful followers. Here it is the second weekend of Rocktober Fest, and Mom and Dad go off Friday night and don’t come back. While it is true that my people brother Andrew came to stay with me – and I love my Andrew – the fact still remains that I got left behind. Does this mean I won’t get to go to Rocktober Fest, I ask myself?

Saturday comes and goes and I am stuck here at the house with my dog brother Riley. Andrew and Jentry, Andrew’s girlfriend, go off somewhere – work, I think – and leave me here wondering if and when someone is going to come take me to Rock City. Oh, woe is me.

Sunday comes and things are looking up. The boy has come – I think his name is Conner – and he is playing with Riley. That is good because I get to bark at Riley a lot when they play. It makes me look like I am protecting the boy, when in reality I am using it as an excuse to take my anger and frustration out on Riley. BOL.

Things keep getting better. Andrew talked to my Mom (his mom too) on the phone and I heard him say, yes, Lexi’s beard is clean. Then he packed us all in the car and we went to – you guessed it! Rocktober Fest! Woo hoo. I missed my Mom and Dad so much and was so glad to see them that I couldn’t even try to act all mad that they left me. So I got lots of good food off the floor and people adoring me and good music and all is now well in my life. Later, I found out that they went and stayed on a boat overnight for their wedding anniversary. I guess that is ok, since it all worked out good for me in the end.

Lexi, once again the Rocktober Fest Dog

Rocktober Fest time

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Rocktober fest J A L
That’s me in my dad’s arms.

October 17, 2012
Hello my loyal fans. (I am a theater dog, after all.)
It is October, the wonderful month when my dad spends all day every Saturday and Sunday at the place where my “Dorothy” works, Rock City. They have this festival with lots of good food and beer all month long. It is called Rocktober Fest. I know that’s where we are going when we start driving up the mountain. Oh, I get so excited. Why? I’ll tell you why:
1. Food falling on the floor
2. My beloved Dorothy – I think her not on stage name is
Kim, like mine is Lexi, not Toto
3. Food falling on the floor
4. Beer
5. Food falling on the floor
6. Music and dancing
7. Food falling on the floor

Well, you get the picture (he,he, I made a funny). I have decided I don’t really like their beer, but there is always Food Falling on the Floor. And great music and dancing. Refer to comment: I am a theater dog, after all.

The first Saturday, Mom and Dad dressed up in their funny German costumes and off we went to Rocktober Fest. Mom got cold, though, and went to the car. Then she got a call from Dad and started driving away! Aghhh! Seems that he had forgotten something, so she drove real fast back home to get it and changed her clothes (did I mention she was cold) and I was standing at the door ready to go back with her when she grabbed my annoying brother Riley and left me behind!!! Can you imagine the indignity of it all? Huh. Sometimes I just hate him. I know, I am going to have to ask for forgiveness for that one!

Lexi the Rocktober Fest Dog

I’m a Church Dog

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October 9, 2012
Hi Brothers and Sisters. I go with my mom to the church where she works and do therapy (unofficially) and ask for food until it is time to go to the hospital to therapize the poor sick kids, who often have food too. All that to say, the staff at the church all know and love me – what’s not to love! Knowing this, it came as no surprise that I was asked to come to Sunday school to visit with the kids on the Sunday they celebrated St. Francis of Assisi (patron Saint of animals, for all you unchurched canines out there).

Out in the hallway before the class started, one girl screeched when she saw me. I would like to think it was with delight, but it sounded more like fear. She smelled like fear, too. Then we all went into the classroom and there were six or seven kids – math isn’t my strong point so it might have been more – who all sat in a circle on the floor with a few grown-ups, including my mom. The girl who screeched was given a chair to sit in and one of my church friends, Mary Gardner, said it was so she would be more comfortable with her dress. I knew Mary Gardner was just being nice, because I knew the fear girl was up in that chair so that she didn’t have to be too close to the source of her fear – me! Well, I also knew just what to do – I am a therapy dog, after all, duh. First, I walked around the inside of the circle, checking out everybody. No one had any food, by the way. When I got to the fear girl I just kept going and didn’t stop to say hi. I could tell she was watching me, though, and starting to get curious. Then I made a second round, stopping again to let everyone pet me, and this time I stopped next to the fear girl but didn’t look at her. That can be intimidating, you know, when you are scared of someone and they look at you. When she reached out and touched me I knew I was making progress. I thought, well, one more time ought to do it. So there I went again, stopping to see everyone in the circle, and this time I stopped and looked at the fear girl and most of the smell of fear was gone. I tried to tell her it was ok, I wouldn’t hurt her, and she must have understood because she reached out and pet me real nice. My work here is done.

Lexi the Church Dog

RILEY’S DIARY: Sleeping Situations

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September 21, 2012
My mom went somewhere called “vacation” and my dad stayed home ‘cause he said he had to work. While my mom was gone – and I missed her a lot – my dad let me sleep in the bed with him. I think he missed her a lot too. It’s a pretty big bed, which is good since I am a pretty big dog. The problem is, when mom came home, she didn’t want me to sleep in the bed with her and dad. So I would wait until the middle of the night when I could tell they were both asleep and real quiet-like get up in the bed and sleep between them until morning. It is important to me to touch my people and sleep next to them. It makes me feel safe and loved and wanted.

One night I kept creeping over to the bed but mom kept telling me to go get in my own bed. Finally, she put me in my kennel to sleep the rest of the night. The next night she told me I had a choice: sleep on my own bed or sleep in my kennel. I picked my bed. Last night I went back to sneaking in the bed, but I waiting until almost morning to be sure she didn’t put me in my kennel. I hope I can keep sleeping with my people pack. I like to be touching them when I sleep, and their bed is better than mine. Maybe mom and dad could just buy me a better, bigger bed like theirs and I wouldn’t mind sleeping alone as much. Or maybe one of them would come and sleep in it with me sometimes. That would be best. In the meantime, I will keep working my agenda.

Sleep tight,

Riley

RILEY’S DIARY: I am an agility AND freestyle dog

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June 18, 2012
Hi friends. I completed my first agility course with my people brother Andrew and got a nice piece of paper for it. Not edible, says my mom. She is going to let Andrew keep it because it is his first time doing anything like this. Well, it is my first time too, but I love Andrew so I guess I will let him keep it. Besides, I can’t eat it, so what good is it, really. We are now back to Agility doing stuff called teeters and weaves. I am slowly getting used to stepping on this board that moves around. It is a bit scary, but I am getting braver every week. The other dogs are all running across the real teeter. I need to think about it a bit longer before I trust it. It’s really great though, cause I get tons and tons of treats while I am there, really good stuff I never get any other time, and Andrew has a new toy he plays with me only when we are there. I want to play with the other dogs, too, but Andrew and mom won’t let me.

I have also been going with mom and Lexi and Milo to Freestyle training. I have to sit in a crate a lot, but boy do I ever love it when I get to go on the floor and strut my stuff. Everyone says how very beautiful I look, like a Tennessee Walking Horse with my long legs. Now I don’t know what that is, but it must be really pretty.

I think it is almost dinner time so I have to go now.

Love to everyone,

Riley

RILEY’S DIARY: In POOP trouble today

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August 10, 2012
I got in so much trouble this morning, and I didn’t see it coming. I thought Mom was going to kill me she was so mad, but all she did was lecture me and point her finger at me and at the poop first in my kennel and then all over the patio.

She said I should have gone out last night like she told me to. But I don’t like to go out in the dark. And I don’t like to go out by myself (my sis Lexi wouldn’t go with me – she had already done her business the first time Mom asked her to) and I don’t like to go off the patio and into the yard.

That’s where and when the next trouble came. She caught me pooping on the patio this morning and walked out and saw all the other poo I had left over the last couple of days and just lost it. She made me go in that dirty old yard where my feet get wet and messy. I know I am a big boy, but I have such pretty, dainty feet. I just hate getting them messy. She talked and talked and pointed and pointed and kept telling me what a bad dog I am. I tried to go to the back door but she kept chasing me back into the yard. Then she left me out there! Aghhhh! Dad let me in after she left. I heard him on that little box he talks into telling mom that he had to let me in because it was raining. I don’t think I want to know what she said back to him. But I think I might know because he didn’t put my brand new crate pad in my kennel this morning when he crated me before he left. I was really looking forward to using it and maybe even chewing it a little – or a lot.

Maybe she will be happier when she gets home. I sure hope so. I love my Mom lots and don’t like her to be mad at me. I will try to be a good boy and go in the grass. It’s just that paw thing…and the dark thing…

Riley the chastised

RILEY’S DIARY: Birthday

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May 14th 2012
Hi I’m Riley and I’m back to tell you, I had a birthday and it was GR8! Mom pulled my favorite chair up to the table and fixed me my very own plate of chicken salad with my own fork and everything! I sat there very good like I have seen Lexi do on her birthday and didn’t try to gulp the food off the plate. That was very hard to do, but I made myself have what mom calls self-control. She fed me all the food that was on my plate and it was sooooo good. Then mom and dad put pup cup ice cream and rice krispie treats in all the dog bowls and everyone got to celebrate my special day with me.

The next day I saw her eating the chicken salad (well, smelled her eating it is more like it) and I just couldn’t understand why she was eating my birthday food and not giving it to me! Sometimes life is unfair, but I love my mom and let her have it.

Mom said she has to go and can’t help me with my diary anymore today, so I will tell you about being a new agility dog next time.

I love you!

Riley, the birthday boy

Third place at Freestyle

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April 20, 2012
Mom and I competed in Freestyle again. I got third place in my division. Mom said it didn’t count, since it was also last place. Hmmmm. I think she has a bad attitude about it. She wouldn’t even let me wear my ribbon. I decided to change the routine, and is it my fault she couldn’t follow along? She was not happy with me for a whole week. Geesh. You would think I had done my business on the floor in front of everyone, or something else as mortifying. I think she is looking for different music, as though that will help! Ha! Mom just needs to follow better. You would think that all this dancing with Dad would have taught her to do that. Or maybe next time I will follow her! Won’t Mom be surprised!

Lexi the leader

Oz was almost real

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Me and Karley
Me and Karley

March 3, 2012
Hello again, my adoring fans. In my last entry I mentioned the fun Pedi cab ride I was about to take to promote the Wizard of Oz. Well, wouldn’t you know, tornadoes started ripping through town, and there I am out with my newest Dorothy, thinking I am about to get blown all the way to Oz!! We went in a restaurant (yes, I said WE went in a restaurant – a lifelong dream of mine – and walked around and nobody even cared that I, a dog, was there. The smells about drove me mad, but I managed to retain my professional composure and didn’t beg or steal anyone’s food. Meanwhile, Mom was in the basement where she worked, just like in Oz when everyone went in the storm shelter. People still on the street kept looking at the skies and saying, “How did you manage the weather?” to my Dorothy. It was pretty cool.

Lexi, still in Tennessee

Catching up – nothing exciting

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February 28, 2012
It has been w-a-a-a-a-y too long since Mom helped me with my diary. Let’s see if I can get caught up. The imposters are still here – that would be Milo and Piper. Riley is bigger than ever and still here. He likes Piper best and always is bothering him, so he leaves me alone. Maybe we should just always keep Piper so Riley never bothers me. I think I will go tell Mom that.

Hey, I got stairs and treats for Christmas. The stairs are next to the bed and it is just soooo easy to run up them to jump on Mom’s bladder in the morning. Love it!

I have been working on a new Freestyle routine for Level 3. I am doing really good (naturally), even though sometimes mom forgets it or changes it. I really do try to help her remember. After all, there are lots of treats involved. It is fun working with mom, but more fun getting lots of treats!

I get to go ride around in a Pedi cab this week with Karley who is going to pretend she is Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. That means I will pretend to be Toto again, even though I don’t have the right haircut right now for that. I think there will be treats and petting involved, so I’m really good with that. It is to promote the movie being shown at the Tivoli Theater this Saturday. I wanted to be on stage, but the Tivoli said they would have to pay too much for permits. What the…?

I guess that’s it for now. Pretty boring, huh? Catch ya next time.

Love me,
Lexi

Poor baby – me- has a boo boo

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 October 22, 2011

Mom found this little pea-sized lump under my arm so what does she do but take me to the vet. I start shaking now every time she takes me to that place. I don’t like it there. They are always sticking something up my behind. Next thing I know I am waking up and I am all shaved under my arm and there are things called stitches sticking out of me. What the…?

The next day my Auntie Jen came all the way from somewhere called Indiana to see me here in Tennessee. I love my Auntie Jen. I threw up my arm so she could see my boo boo. She didn’t notice right away so I had to do it again, and then she gave me lots of sympathy. That was good. I went on to do other things as soon as she finished poor babying me. I wanted everyone to know what happened and feel bad for me, so every time I saw someone else I did the same thing. Some people were slower to understand than others, but I was patient and kept throwing up my arm until they understood. One night I was showing my dad again and he cleared his throat kind of embarrassed like and said, uh Lexi, wrong arm. So I did a quick switch and raised my other arm like nothing had happened. How was I supposed to keep track of it now that they took out the stitches? It really wasn’t my fault. Then a new lady I am told is Aunt Rhonda came and stayed with me while mom and dad were away for a night. She understood right away when I showed her my boo boo. She was so sweet about it that I decided I really liked her and let her sleep in the bed with me. Mom says I am milking this for all it is worth. I say, when you find a good thing, use it.

Lexi, the poor baby

Four dogs in the house

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October 20, 2011

Mom has been so busy she hasn’t been keeping up with my diary. Shame on her! I have been a busy schnauzer and so much has happened since summer. My schnauzer buds Piper and Milo came to live with us while their mom went away to school. I thought they were just visiting, but then they didn’t leave. In my opinion, this is just too much of a good thing. I feel like they can go any time now. Then my Auntie Jen came and got Milo. I’m so glad cause all that barking was giving me a headache and making me grumpy. Piper seemed to really like Milo gone too and the house seemed much emptier with just him gone, even though there were two other dogs here; sometimes there are four when my sisters come every other week. Only thing is, a month later, here Auntie Jen comes back with Milo. I guess she got a headache too with all his barking. Now he’s living here again. He really gives Piper his brother a hard time, but what do I care?

Riley is still here. I have come to accept he is staying for good (or bad). He’s almost 1 1/2 years old now and isn’t as annoying as when he first came, but he still tears up everything. Mom has my toys safely put away. She said she will give them back when Riley stops chewing. Today mom gave me my squirrel and Riley took it and I barked so ferociously that he went to mom and gave it to her. Ha! I showed him!

The good thing about the boys (Piper and Milo) being here is that Riley picks on them and leaves me alone. (Big schnauzer smile)

Mom found a new (to us) dog park and we’ve been going there a lot. I don’t play with other dogs – that would be way beneath me. But there are lots of smells that keep me busy while Riley greets everyone and generally acts like a fool. I pretend I don’t know him, let alone live with him. I hear people say how beautiful I am and that’s enough for me. I have admirers everywhere I go.

I should go now and make sure everyone is behaving themselves before I go to my kennel and wait for my night-night treat.

Love to all my many admirers,

Lexi the beautiful

Don’t tell me what Riley did

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October 20, 2011

Now Riley is working on Freestyle. Talk about invading my turf! Mom’s taking him to the OCC with us and everything. So one day mom took Riley somewhere – I know it must have been a fun place where he got all the attention that is mine – and then mom had the nerve to come home with him and say, “Lexi, let me tell you what Riley did.” I got so mad that I head butted her right on the bridge of her nose. That gave her a headache for two days. She hasn’t tried to tell me what Riley did since that. I guess she’s trainable.

Lexi the head butter

A case of mistaken identity

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 June 26, 2011

My day started off really weird. I don’t mind riding in the pick-up truck. And I don’t mind being in a kennel. But I never knew I could ride in a kennel in a pick-up truck. Mom put me in with my buddy Milo who is visiting from Maryland. She tied the kennel in good and made sure the tailgate was secure. What a rush! She and my dad took us to my old house where they mowed the grass. Then they took us to a new dog park. What fun! There were so many smells and lots of room to run around. I pooped and ran and drank water out of a big metal bucket.

After they brought us back home mom got cleaned up and went to the garage and opened the car door. Milo and I jumped in and she backed out of the garage and started down the driveway when she suddenly looked over at me and stopped the car. What? Get out? No way! Then, to add insult to injury, dad came out carrying Piper, the other schnauzer who is staying with us. He put Piper in the car and mom made me go with dad back into the house. Sheesh. I am told it was just a case of mistaken identity. (Yes, Piper and I do look a lot alike since we came from the same breeder.) Then I heard something about shots and fecals and stuff, so maybe it is better I stayed home after all.

Lexi the truckin’ schnauzer

RILEY’S DIARY: I want to be a Freestyle dog too (and I have a girlfriend!)

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 June 24, 2011

Hi, I’m Riley. I found out about Freestyle and now Mom is teaching me lots of new stuff and I get to go to the training. It is SO MUCH FUN!!

I have learned sit and stay and wait and down and heel. Mom says I am as smart as my sister Lexi!! (I think I might be smarter…) Mom took us to training last Sunday and I met a new dog whom I like very much. Her name is Maebe and she is a pit bull. Mom says I shouldn’t kiss and tell, but I really like her a lot! I heard her mom talk to my mom about us teaming up in Freestyle and that just makes my toes tingle to think about it. I sure hope that happens! I can’t stop wagging my tail!

I heard that my schnauzerfriend Piper is coming to live with us for a while. I am sure excited about that too. I hope he wants to play. I only get to play with other dogs when I go to my daycare once a week. None of the dogs at home want to play with me.

I love you!

 

Riley

 

Titled in Freestyle

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 April 24, 2011

I went to my first Freestyle competition. Mom and I worked on our routine for something like a year, which would probably be seven years in dog time. On Saturday, the first day of competition, I got a little too curious and ran outside the ring. No one told me how bad that would be for my score. I really pretty much ran all over the performance area because it smelled so curious of so many dogs. Mom told me I had to do better on Sunday. So I did. I stayed with her and we did our much-practiced routine. I got enough points (not the same as treats, darn) to get my first Title. And I came in third in my class, 2a. Everyone is really proud of me. Mom has a picture of us on her nightstand and she has a video of us performing. Of course, all the other dogs are on the video too, but that doesn’t count. I really hate when she looks at the other dogs performing and makes nicey nice comments about them – especially the giant schnauzer! Hey I can’t help I’m small. I was born this way. I have a really big self-image, though, and that counts for a lot!

Now Mom and I are working on our next competition performance. She said I am getting too fat from all the treats, so she is making me work for my supper. How fair is that? Well, truth be told, I do love to work on the figures and I do love to eat, so it works out ok for me.

My big little brother Riley is working on Freestyle too. I think that is a joke. He has just learned the basic stuff, like sit and heel and down. How can he do Freestyle? I guess I will wait and see. He will never be as good as me! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Lexi the Titled