Annual Check-up

I went to the vet (unwillingly) and got my yearly exams and vaccinations today. The doc also talked Mom into getting a HW test done. It was negative. I could have told them that – I have a strong, worm-free heart. They also stuck that glass stick up my patooty and used what came out for a fecal. No worms. I could have told them that – I have a strong, worm-free colon. When we were done, the vet gave my Mom a piece of birthday cake. When Dr. Poston saw Mom looking at me with cake on her spoon, she said, “You’d better not let me see you give her any of that,” to which Mom replied, “Then you’d better shut your eyes.” Go, Mom! (I also got Arby’s curly fries on the way home.)

I am Lexi, the healthy, worm-free schnauzer.

I lost my job

I’ve known that Mom has been hurting inside for a few weeks now. No, not a physical pain, more like an emotional pain. It has gotten worse this week. I finally figured out from her and Dad talking that one of the places we work is closing. I decided that if I refused to leave work, they couldn’t shut it down. That’s why I have been coming out the church door and stopping. Mom has been getting irritated that I wouldn’t come across the parking lot to the car, but she just didn’t understand what I was doing. If she did, she would have just stood there with me, I was sure. It wasn’t until yesterday that I realized it isn’t the church on the mountain but the office downtown that is closing. Lexi leaving ochsThat’s why I wouldn’t go get in the truck yesterday when it was time to go. I wanted to make sure no one came and took our office away from us.

At the end of the day today I didn’t want to leave. I watched the furniture being moved out. I saw the computers being loaded in cars. I knew, I just knew, today was the last day. Mommy says it means there is now room in our lives for a new adventure. I don’t want new, I want what I know, and the people I know. They love me. How are they going to find me. I am not ready to leave and not come back. I feel so sad.

Noodle invited me to go to South Miami Beach with him. Maybe that would make us both feel better. Maybe we can go tomorrow…

The Skirt of Shame

It all started when Dad showed up where Mom works downtown. I was so happy: we were all together. Then Dad asked Mom if she would like to go to lunch. Mom said yes and hooked up my leash and outside we went. Like a good girl, I did my business so I wouldn’t get too excited and have an accident in the restaurant. You won’t believe what happened next…Mom took me back inside and left me! I did something then that would clearly let them know how displeased I was at being left behind. Mom was not happy when she got back and saw the wet spot on the carpet, including the wet trail I made to put a punctuation point on my point. But I figured she got the message.

After work we met Dad again at the house where we used to live. He had the lawn mower and instead of letting me help outside, Mom stuck me in the house and left me alone in there. I was not happy. So, once again, I made sure Mom saw my displeasure. When she came in the house after mowing, it was Mom’s turn to be not happy. She still gave me a drink of water.

We got home at 6:00, a whole hour late for my dinner. Would you believe that instead of hurrying to fix my dinner, Mom sat down at the sewing machine? She made this skirt and sewed it onto one of The Boy’s underpants. I thought it was pretty funny that The Boy was going to have to wear a skirt on his rear end…I guess the joke was on me. Oh, and I never got my dinner. I am not happy.

Shamed
         Shamed

First Boating Adventure of the Season

Mom spent a lot of time working outside today. Seems that part of it was getting my boat the Lexi B the Sammy Joe ready to go to the lake. The boy was outside working with her. He must have been doing a good job because I didn’t hear Mom yell, “Stop doing that and come help.” Then I realized what that must mean – we were going boating! I was so excited about the first time out this season. Of course, I am always excited about going somewhere, especially to the lake! I know Mom was worried about the Sammy Joe starting, seeing how it was the first time out this year. I am very pleased to say she started right up and off we went. I remembered that one of the first things we do is stop so I can get in the lake and swim a lap around the boat. It is very cooling. So I stood at the bow (rhymes with owwww) wearing my pink with white polka dots life vest to let Mom know I was ready. She just shook her head and dipped me real quick-like before pulling me back in. What she had been telling the boy was right – the water was cold! But it was still a lot of fun boating around the lake. Mom took some pictures to share. Notice how it looks like I could flap my ears and fly?

2015-04-12 15.24.34

2015-04-12 15.52.182015-04-12 15.52.332015-04-12 15.52.33

A New Torture

Mom devised a new torture for me. She must sit around thinking up these things. It’s called,”We need to brush your teeth.” What’s the “we” in this? It’s Mom doing all the brushing. Why doesn’t she just go brush her own teeth? Again. Leave my teeth alone; they are perfectly fine just the way they are.

Agh! Let go of my beard!
Agh! Let go of my beard!
Lexi teeth brush 3
I’ll be good, I promise!
Lexi teeth brush 4
This is dog abuse. Someone report it, please!

Dog food news

Mom is always reading dog food labels. It might take her an hour to get out of the store when she is buying dog food. Read, read, read, *yawn.*

She asked me to share this article about dog food ingredients. It was a bit surprising, even to my Mom, the dog food aficionado. (Do you like my new word?) It talks about ingredients that are there but not listed (like chicken), as well as ingredients that are listed but not there (like any form of protein, such as chicken). It also gives a tip about what to look for, something easy that even non-dog food aficionados can do. (He, he, I got to use my new word again!) This site is from my vet (bleh!) so it is safe. Just click on the link below the picture. Personally, I think Mom should only feed me what she eats! 🙂

Animal Medical Center Logo

http://amc-petcare.com/index.php?newsletters=26043

Mom back and pledging money from me (that I don’t have)

Mom’s back. She didn’t bring me anything. The first morning she was back, she forgot to move my stairs away from the bed, but I was good. After all, I didn’t want to have to wait for my surprise to be discovered and the sheets to be changed before I could go to bed that night.

Have I ever mentioned that we (Mom and Me) listen to NPR every day on the way to and from work? Well, we do. Most of the time. Except when something comes on that Mom doesn’t want to hear, and she pushes a button to change to some country station. There are a lot of country music stations to choose from here in Tennessee. I don’t mind as long as Mom doesn’t play it too loud. Once again, I have gotten off on a bunny trail. Squirrel trail is more like it. I never see bunnies around our house, but there are lots of squirrels. Although there might be a bunny trail now that we are so close to Easter. I will have to check that out.

Where I was going with this is that the last two weeks have been “give us money” time for the local station that plays NPR. Mom has been mostly tuning to the country stations during this time. Yesterday morning she heard the guy who talks on the local “give us money” radio station say it was Battle of the Dogs and Cats Day. The score was dogs-9, cats-5, corn snake-1. I don’t know what the corn snake thought he was doing in this battle. The idea of giving dogs another point prompted Mom to dig her phone out of her purse  and call the radio station while driving zig zag back and forth up the mountain. It was scary exciting and she managed to make it to our turn at the top without plunging off the side. I would have offered to drive, but my legs don’t reach the peddles. Actually, I can get my legs on the peddles, but then I can’t see over the steering wheel, or even over the seat, for that matter!

While still driving, Mom talked to the person who answered the phone and had to spell my name twice for him. I was hoping it was so he could mail treats to me.

As we were pulling into the church where we work, you can imagine my shock when I heard the guy on the radio say, “We have just had a pledge called in by Lexi the Schnauzer.” I sure hope Mom isn’t expecting me to pay it!

I am Lexi, the moneyless schnauzer.

Mom Is Deserting Me

It’s my last day at work…at least until Mom comes back. She is leaving on a plane and not taking me with her. She is going away to have fun with her friend. I feel cheated. I’m not going to have fun with anyone. Dad will still be here and Jentry said she would help take care of me. But they won’t play the “Leave it, find it” game with me or play chase or the “Rats under the covers” game.  I think the boy would throw my ball, but he doesn’t know how to do it right. Mom even said she won’t be helping me to blog until she gets back next week. I am sad.

I have to stay at home.
I have to stay at home.

Living in the Moment

I live in the moment. I don’t think about yesterday or worry about tomorrow.

For example:

Food – Mom thinks about buying it and fixing it. I eat it.

Shelter – Mom thinks about paying for it and keeping it repaired and comfortable. I live in it.

Attention – Mom hopes I will sit with her and ask to be petted. I get petted when I want it.

Water – Mom, well I don’t know Mom’s relationship with water. I knock my bowl around if it is empty and Mom fills it. I run when a bath is imminent.

Sleep – Mom schedules her sleep for certain night hours. I sleep whenever I want.

It’s good to be me.

I am Lexi.

Without a care in the world
Without a care in the world

But no one fed me….

Tonight, right before dinner time, my Dad left with Jentry and the boy. Dad didn’t feed me before he left. I don’t know if he forgot or just didn’t think it was his job, or what. Then Mom didn’t come home. She is supposed to come home and feed me my supper. I was abandoned. No food, only two bowls of water, no people with hands who could reach and scoop my kibble and yummy soft food. My nose led me downstairs where Jentry had thoughtfully left some cheese fries in a bag where I could reach them. Jentry is my bestest friend. I had to chew through the bag to get to them, but thought maybe that was a new game, like Mom hiding treats for me to find. So I played the game, got to the cheese fries and ate them – all of them. Mom and Jentry and Andrew and the boy finally came home. Mom said she needed some Lexi loving, so I got up on the couch next to her so she could pet me. Next thing I know she is asking Andrew if he had any idea why my stomach was so extended and hard and why I didn’t eat my supper. That’s when she found out about the cheese fries that my bestest friend Jentry left me. I had a lot of explaining to do.

Talking my way out of this one.
Talking my way out of this one.
Mommy, let me explain!
Mommy, let me explain!

Well, I have to go now. It is bedtime and I need to get my nite nite treat.

When it’s just you and your Dad at home

I have a good life. It’s because I have everyone trained. I used to go to work with Mom only on Thursdays. Now I go to the church to work on Wednesdays and Fridays and to her other office on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I know my days and am always ready to go. We all stay home on the weekend, so that’s ok. On Mondays I stay home with my Dad. It took a while, but he is finally trained. He gets up very early and lets me out to do my potty. Then he feeds me, always adding the special topping to my kibble. I usually go back to bed for a few hours, then get up in time to pester Dad  politely ask Dad to let me out and then to give me my mid-morning treat. A little later I join Dad for lunch and another trip outside.  At 1:00 sharp Riley and I accompany Dad down the driveway to the mailbox and get our get-the-mail treat.  If someone else has already brought up the mail, we still get our get-the-mail treat. It is only fair. At 3:00 I get my after-school-treat. I always remind Dad if he forgets. Of course I do not attend school, but The Boy does, and I think he gets out of school sometime around 3:00. That is a good time and reason to ask for a treat, as well as to go back out.

It is never too late in the day to practice dominance. Here is how to practice at bedtime with your dad:

First get your dad's attention by stretch- ing out on top of him.
First get your dad’s attention by stretching out on top of him.
Then sit up so he can scratch your pits. That also digs your front feet into his chest.
Then sit up so he can scratch your pits. That also digs your front feet into his chest, so he can’t forget you are there..
If he stops, resume the down position and stare intently at him.
If he stops, resume the down position and stare intently at him while scratching at his hand.
Got all that?
Got all that?
It's hard to stay awake when it is bedtime, but sacri- fices have to be made.
It’s hard to stay awake when it is bedtime, but sacrifices have to be made.
Domination plan: successful
Domination plan: successful

I have also taught Dad about the “schnauzer portion.” No matter what he eats, I get a bite. That is, unless it is too spicy and will cause my tummy problems, then he “looks out for me.” That means I don’t get my schnauzer portion. Sometimes at lunch he forgets if he gave me my schnauzer portion and I get another one. I never admit to the first one – I always want more I wouldn’t want him to feel badly that he forgot.

At supper I sit at the table with Mom and Dad. Unlike on my birthday, I do not get my own plate. Mom usually gives me something, and Dad, as I said, is trained to give me the schnauzer portion. I think I have Mom trained too; if it looks like Dad is going to finish without sharing, Mom says, “Did you give Lexi her ‘schnauzer portion?’”

Some of my wonderful new friends get a bit stressed when their moms leave for work in the morning. I know it is because they have been abandoned earlier in their lives.  Friends, I hope you see this and understand that your forever mom will be back, and until she returns, you have all day to work on training your dad. He will appreciate the closeness, the interaction, and knowing he is learning to do everything exactly how you want it done. Tip: Be sure the house is stocked with plenty of treats before you begin the training. Sometimes, he will even beg your mom to take you to work with her. I am sure it is so she can benefit from your training techniques as well. Either way, you win.

I am Lexi, the trainer.

Dogsitting

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Piper (L) gets too much attention when he is here. He hugs.

Mom was going to ground me from my Valentine’s Day date because I did something naughty at work on Thursday. Thanks to pleas from some of my friends, she changed her mind…and came up with a new punishment. Personally, I don’t think Moms should be allowed to punish their schnauzers. However, she said no one could arrest her for dog cruelty for what she did.

I have to dog-sit my schnauzer cousin Piper. That meant I couldn’t go to work with Mom on Friday. I thought about making my Dad suffer all day for what Mom did, but decided I would play it cool, hoping they would remove this punishment sooner. Nope, he’s still here. Piper was supposed to go home tonight, but now he’s not leaving until Monday night. He eats my food, sleeps in my bed, and snuggles with my Mom. And now Riley is acting like, “Hey Piper buddy, so glad you are back! Let’s play!” At least I get to visit with my Auntie Jen when she picks him up tomorrow night! And I still have my Valentine date with Noodle. Yea!!!

I am Lexi, the contrite schnauzer.

Nope, I’m not sick, but I did miss work today.

This is Tuesday. Mom was home yesterday because it was some sort of a holiday. But I know today is Tuesday, my first workday of the week. However, I got left at home. Something about Mom and a doctor appointment and she couldn’t take me. Then I heard what happened at work, and I feel avenged for being left.

Mom’s co-minion: “Where’s Lexi?”

Mom: “She stayed home today because I have a doctor appointment this afternoon.”

Co-minion: “Oh no! Is Lexi ok? Is she sick?”

Mom: “I can see where I stand.”

Two hours later the boss lady enters the building.

Boss lady: “Where’s Lexi?”

Mom: “She stayed home today because I have a doctor appointment this afternoon.”

Boss lady: ” “Oh no! Is Lexi ok? Is she sick?”

Mom: (Sigh) No, it’s me who has the doctor’s appointment.”

Boss lady: “Oh, I am so glad Lexi is okay.”

I am Lexi, the avenged

I am back from Oz

I am back from Oz, and Kansas too, for that matter. I understood that Saturday night was my last performance – maybe forever – so I gave it my all. Everyone loves  loved loves me. I am still the star. I never really bonded with Grayson, the pretend Dorothy, but she was good for treats.  Speaking of treats, all my baked pumpkin treats and all the cheese sticks are gone. How sad.

My kennel is back in my closet at home. Once again, my Toto groom has given way to my Schnauzer groom. T???????????????????he insides of my ears are irritated from being shaved and I keep shaking my head. I heard someone ask about a cast party. I sure hope the cast all still recognize me groomed like this. That’s ok, I will remind them who I am, the Toto.

 I know my Dad is still sad about losing Lily. I’ve been sitting on his lap more and even sleeping in the bed more. I don’t want him to start thinking about getting another dog.

 Last night I dreamed I was on the stage again. It was my favorite part, the very first scene. I ran out to Grayson aka Dorothy, and the audience all said, “Awwwwww.” My legs were running so fast that I think I woke up Mom. I know I woke up me.

 Today, Dad set up a funny-looking black box downstairs, right where Mom comes in the door from the garage. Then he put a beautiful treat on a real people plate on the top step, just before the door to our living area. He showed me so that I would know where to find it when someone came along and opened up the door. I was hoping real hard that Riley didn’t get it first. Dad heard the garage door open the same time as I did, right when Mom should be home from work. He grabbed me up, turned on the music, and ran down the hall into the bedroom with me. Suddenly I heard the soul-filling music of Over the Rainbow. I started to shake uncontrollably. The door opened, Dad put me down, and I ran down the hall to my Mom – and ate the treat. Maybe I’m back in Kansas, after all.

 

Wizard Weekend

Rehearsals are over. Every night for a week we didn’t get home and in bed until eleven o’clock. Mom and I were exhausted. We were barely getting to work the next day.  And there was too much to do for us to sleep at work. Our schedule was get up, eat breakfast (me), go to work, eat lunch (Mom),  starve the schnauzer, go to the theater, rehearse and get treats (me), go home, get a treat (me) and go to bed. Over and over again. I lost a whole pound.

 The first weekend of the Wizard of Oz is history. I am a star. Of course. Again.  On opening night, those munchkins kept getting in my way. They started dancing as I was entering from stage right and almost danced me right off the front of the stage. Now that would have been an opening night to remember! It shook me up. I wasn’t myself the rest of the night. The next night Mom adjusted my entrance to be from stage left. It is working much better.

After  my bows, I greeted the audience in the lobby. No one brought me any treats. Saturday night my Dad was there and he held me while everyone pet me and asked if I was his dog. He had the honor of saying yes. I was really tired from my performance so I laid quietly in his arms. However, when he put me down, I tried to go down the hall to where I could smell the Mexican food from some other event that was happening there. I am never too tired for food.

I am Lexi, the Thespian Schnauzer.

Boating and Fast Food

It has been an exhausting couple of days. Two days ago Mom came home from wherever she had been for over an hour and I could tell right away she was upset. Not a little upset, either. She even told my Dad to get out of her way. Wow. He backed way up way fast and didn’t say a word. Quick as a wink she changed into her boating clothes, grabbed her boat bag and plopped me into the truck. She hooked up my pontoon and off we went to the lake. I started doing therapy on her while we were still in the truck – she really needed it. He face was salty and her eyes were red. We spent the whole afternoon in one spot on the lake. I swam around the boat once to cool off, then napped on and off and tried to do a little more therapy while Mom took turns reading and laying in the sun.

Even all the boating and sunning and reading didn’t help Mom’s mood. I hate to say I benefited by it, but look, when a dog gets to go to the lake and out to dinner at Mickey D’s, yeah, things were going my way. Seems like I was the only one she could stand to be around that day. You’d better believe I was careful to be a very good girl. I have never before had a McD’s hamburger. OMG it is good! Later that evening I heard her say that she was taking me back to McD’s the next day for my birthday. I starting singing and dancing, and everyone laughed. I couldn’t help myself, I just got so excited thinking about that hamburger.

When we got home that night Mom sat down in front of her computer and in a very short time yelled at my Dad to come quick. After getting yelled at earlier to get out of her way, he came running lickity-split to see what was wrong. She told him to read something on her computer and they both started smiling and saying happy things.  Now I know why Mom wasn’t going to the church to work and why she was unhappy today. She had to find a new job so she could make money to buy my kibble and other things. Everything finally worked out great. She is going to work at another church and she is going to work at a non-profit when she isn’t working at the church. She seems really happy about it. I hope I will get to go, too. I will do therapy and keep food cleaned up from the floor.

Finally, the sun came up the next morning and my real birthday day started. After several hours on the lake in the Sammy Joe, I went to the pet store where I found some ferrets I wanted but no one would let me have them. I found some treats and we got those. There were dog beds that I was not very interested in, so we didn’t get any of those, nor any of the collars, harnesses or clothes we looked at. It would have been cruel to buy those things on my birthday.

From there we went to Mickey D’s where I got another hamburger and a dish of ice cream. It was a hot day so we sat in the shade and ate our supper. I ate my hamburger in about five seconds flat plus an extra second for the pickle. Mom couldn’t understand why I didn’t dig into my cup of ice cream. Duh…she still had some of her fish sandwich left. Of course, when she realized that was the reason, she shared it with me so that I could move on to dessert. Once again it took her a minute, but she finally figured out I wanted her to feed me the ice cream with the spoon. Once we got that established, I ate until I got brain freeze. I mean, I saved her a little bit of the ice cream at the bottom of the cup.

On the way home we took a detour to the dog park. A big white dog wanted to “friend me.” I was polite but not interested, so I didn’t “accept.” Why is Mom laughing?  I hear people say this all the time, so I think I should be able to say it too, don’t you? What’s Facebook?

Lexi the fast-food schnauzer

 

 

The Party

April 1, 2014
I got a bath. An all over, nose to tail sort of bath. That meant that I was going somewhere – or that our bedding was starting to stink. I hoped it was the former. I realize that this happens once a week – the bath thing, not the bed stinking thing. But I am a very hopeful, positive thinking type of schnauzer. This time it was worth it, peach bow on my collar and all.

Mom and Dad and I met up with one of the church office volunteers in a parking lot, where we piled into her car and drove up a mountain. I was pretty distracted by the smell of food coming from the back of the car or I would have realized sooner how strange the whole thing was. Of course I recognized Mrs. C., who is often at the church when I go in on Thursdays or Fridays. But it never occurred to me that she existed outside of that building. I have never seen her anywhere else. Perhaps that sounds silly or naïve, but even a cosmopolitan schnauzer like me has a bit of a limited perspective when it comes to certain things. As it turns out, all of my friends who are office volunteers at the church exist outside of that setting. I found this out because we ended up at one of their homes, and lots of the other folks I know were there. My good friends Gail and Susan from the office were there too. I knew from the start this was going to be great because Mom brought my food bowl. We all went in the house and there was a big table piled high with food. It smelled delicious and got my empty tummy to start growling. Oh my, I hope no one thought it was me being mean!

Mom started the chow line and filled my food bowl with wonderfully yummy foods. I started wondering if somehow I had missed that it was my birthday, and this was all for me. Or maybe I was being honored for being the best Episcopalian church dog. Hmmm.

In any case it was a great evening with good friends, good food, and sweet wine – which I refused (so Mom drank my glass). We were sitting around outside, and I noticed when someone’s plate was empty, they would go back inside and come out with a full plate. So I went and scratched at the door, since I couldn’t reach the door handle, and someone let me in, as always happens. Mom finally found me and put more food in my bowl. She instituted the “no ham for the schnauzer rule,” but I got some of everything else.

I still don’t know the reason for the party, or why Mom hasn’t been going to work. I am going to think about that some more while I wait for my supper.

Lexi, the party girl

Back at the Children’s Hospital

Hello my dear friends. I am blogging again, BOL. BTW (which I found out means By The Way), BOL is Bark Out Loud, the dog equivalent for LOL  One has to know these things when one blogs, you see. And even more-so when one texts. Will someone please tell me what texts means? Talking about blogging reminds me that I have an e-mail account now, and I can get attachments, and still, no one has sent me any treats or biscuits of any sort. What’s up with that?

I still haven’t figured out what is going on with Mom, but I can’t continue to dwell on that. My life is much too busy with things like breakfast, snacks, treats, and therapizing. Speaking of therapizing, Mom drove me to the children’s hospital this morning so I could therapize all the sick kids. It was good today, with lots of kids needing my special attention. One very little boy, still in diapers. who used to be scared of dogs, but now has gotten used to us and even likes us. He has two older sisters who liked me a lot too, so I was on the floor surrounded by children petting me, just like in the old days at the theater. What good memories…

Then there was the little boy – toddler, really – who declared he was a-scared of dogs, so I thought I would just stand out in the hallway and look in at him with a smile on my face. He saw my pretty smile and made a dash for me. I guess he forgot to be afraid, because he pet me real good until it was time for him to take a ride in a big plastic wagon.

There was a big family in the hallway who didn’t seem to know what a therapy dog is and wondered why I was in a hospital for people. So my good friend Lois, who always walks around with us and gives me treats before and sometimes during and after my job, explained it all to them, about how I was tested and passed and come to make kids happy. I think she could have added because I am so beautiful and have a scintillating personality. (Do you like my new word for myself?  I have to bark four times to get that one all out. That is one bark plus one bark plus one bark plus one bark. Whew!) Mom indicated to Lois to give the one of my calling cards so that just maybe, if they read my blogs, they will understand better.

We are home now and my people brother has ordered pizza. I saw the delivery person and now I smell it downstairs, so I have to go.

Lexi, the scintillating therapizer

Why is Mom home?

Mom has been home a lot lately. She isn’t jumping – or crawling – out of bed before daylight and putting on clothes and makeup and leaving me here at home without her. Something suspicious is going on. On the good side, she is taking me for more walks and we are going places together in the car, like the bank and the hardware store. The tellers at the bank all were looking out the window at me and thought I was so adorable that I got three – count them, three! – biscuits instead of just one. Mom tried to hide one in her purse, but when she turned her head I grabbed it and went as far away from her as I could to eat it. I took and ate it for lots of reasons: 1. I wanted it; 2. I hadn’t had any lunch; 3. It smelled good; 4. I don’t think Mom should eat it; 5. My tummy wasn’t full to bursting yet; 6. It was mine; 7. I wanted it.

Don’t you think those were all good reasons for me to take the biscuit? But I was talking about Mom being home, wasn’t I?

Sometimes she stays home when she is sick, but she doesn’t seem sick. The first two days I did therapy on her, staying close by her side, because I could tell something was wrong. She has been using her computer a lot, and she says she is ok, but I can sense something. She did go into work today – I could smell it on her – but not at her usual time.

She is eating a cookie now, so I have to go stare at her.

Lexi, the puzzled schnauzer