Mommy – Page 7 – Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess with Lucy and Chia

Puppy Class Fears

Published on April 27, 2018April 26, 2018 by Xena, Lucy and Chia24 Comments

Ludwig here. I have been visiting with my new friends at Xena’s home. It has become my weekend retreat.

Xena started going to her first puppy class last week. The Mommy bought these training treats that are as close to her raw diet as she could find. Xena seemed super excited about the treats, but not so much the class.

She told us all – and I mean all – about it. She droned on about how afraid she was of the other dogs and the huge room they were in. She hid under the chair where the Mommy was sitting and shook. She may be a schnauzer and a princess, but she sure isn’t a warrior. As I was drifting off, I could still hear her woofing about the puppies who were so much bigger than her, and about the teacher who would take them away from their Mommies to demonstrate training techniques. And about how she was afraid the lady would try to take her from her Mommy, and she thought she would die of fear. Rainbow fell asleep before I did. I don’t know if Winter was awake or sleeping with his eyes open. We can all do that, you know. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Xena: Mommy! Are you ready to go to puppy class? Are you bringing those treats with us again? Is it time to go?

I am Xena, the Schnauzer Princess Warrior!

Please Be Careful

Published on April 20, 2018April 19, 2018 by Xena, Lucy and Chia23 Comments

I saw this and thought I should warn everyone who lives with a cat. Please be careful.

In case you couldn’t read what’s on this picture, I will tell you, ’cause it’s impawtant:

Bringing you dead animals: This isn’t a gift, it’s a warning.

Staring contests: If you get caught in a staring contest with a cat, do not look away. Looking away will signal to your cat that you are weak, and an attack is likely to follow.

Sprinting at light speed out of any room you enter: When your cat does this, it’s actually a failed ambush.

Kneading on you: You may think this is a sign of affection, but your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weaknesses.

Hiding in dark places and watching you: Your cat will often hide in order to study you in your natural habitat.

Throwing up grass: Through this painful feeding and purging process, cats prepare their bodies and minds for combat.

Sleeping on your electronics: Humans have superior technology. Your cat knows this and will attempt to disrupt all communications to the outside world.

Pawing at your face while you sleep: Cats aren’t very good at smothering people, but this won’t keep them from trying.

Excessive shoveling of kitty litter: After using the litter box, your cat endlessly kicks litter around, most of it ending up all over the room. This is practice for burying bodies.

MOM: Lucy! What are you doing? Don’t you know a lot of our friends are cats? What about Siddhartha Henry, or Madi, or Shoko? Do you think they are like this?

What? They’re cats?

MOM: Of course they’re cats. What did you think they were, dogs?

Well…. *shame-faced* I, I guess I never thought about it. I mean, they’re nice and I like them and I never thought about them being any different than me. I hope I didn’t offend anyone.

I am Lucy, the apologetic.

Cave of the Clan Bears Part 2

Published on April 15, 2018 by Xena, Lucy and Chia16 Comments

Xena: Ludwig, I’m sorry it had to come to this. The All eye ants (see previous post) will be here soon to deal with you.

Ludwig: mmphmph…mmmmm.

Xena: Don’t worry, no one is going to hurt you. Oh, here they all are now.Brownie: Is it time now, Xena?

Xena: Yep. Let him have it!

Ludwig: *screaming* Mmmmmmphh!

Brownie: Even though you don’t have a honey…

Sweetheart: or a sweetheart…

Winter: or any fois gras…

Rainbow: or furs of many colors…

Everyone: God loves you!

Xena: We want to be your friends. We think that’s what’s best for everyone, including you. And no more hanky panky. What do you say?

Ludwig: Mmmph. Mmm hmmm.

Xena: I let him loose. Don’t let him get out yet.

Ludwig: *sob* Ok, I’ll tell you the truth. My Mom and Pop came over on the boat from Germany, but I was born in Boston. That’s why I sound funny to you Southern Bears…and, uh, to the bunny over there in the corner. And I know some German from my folks. What I said about being lonely, that’s true. I’m new to town, and don’t know anyone ’cause I work all the time. I just thought…*sob*

Sweetheart: Awww, don’t cry, Ludwig. We forgive you.

Winter: And you can play with us and be our friend.

Brownie: And part of the All lie ants.

Xena: And I will ask Mommy to release you from printer guard duty so you can spend time with your new friends.

Sweetheart: I don’t like being a lying ant.

Xena: Consider the All lie ants dissolved. We will all be best friends.Don’t worry, Ludwig. Lucy won’t really eat you. As long as we are all telling the truth now, I have a confession to make…I was jealous and didn’t want you hanging around my sister. Lucy will be the best friend you ever had! Hey everyone! Welcome Ludwig to our family!

I am Xena, the Schnauzer Warrior Princess

Cave of the Clan Bears

Published on April 12, 2018April 12, 2018 by Xena, Lucy and Chia28 Comments

Xena: Thank you all for coming. Actually, I didn’t realize this many bears lived in my house. Anyhow let’s get started. Rainbow, why don’t you tell us what happened at work.Rainbow: Well, Mommy packed me up and took me with her to keep you company. When you left the room, Ludwig jumped down off Mommy’s printer and sidled up to me in your bed. He said you just wanted to be his friend so it was ok. Then he said such nice things to me, I felt all warm and cuddly.

Xena: That’s ’cause you are warm and cuddly, Rainbow.

Rainbow: Oh. So that didn’t mean he is my boyfriend?

Xena: No. And now that you know you don’t need Ludwig to feel good about yourself, do you still want him to be your boyfriend?

Rainbow: Nuh uh.

Xena: Great, I’ll take that as a no. Then let’s make a plan. I learned from a show Mommy was watching that we can form an all lie ants.

Brownie: What’s that? Is it good to eat, like honey? Xena: No. It’s a dish served cold, like revenge.

Winter: I’m the biggest bear here. I could set up a table and serve it to him with a little foie gras on the side. That’s served cold too. And maybe some fresh…

Xena: No, no, no! Sweetheart, you come with me to work and lure him back to the house with your heart that says.. uh, Mommy, what does Sweetheart’s heart say?

Mommy: It says “Sweetheart.” What are y’all up to? Xena with bears

Xena: Uh, nothing. I mean, just playing.

Sweetheart: We are all lying ants.

Mommy: *scrunches forehead* Huh? Oh, never mind. Has anyone seen my glasses? I can’t find my glasses. *walks away*

Xena and Bears: *whispers and giggles*

To be continued…

Caught!

Published on April 9, 2018April 8, 2018 by Xena, Lucy and Chia31 Comments

You are a soft, lovely Bär with many colors, while I, Herr Ludwig, am only a boring gray.

Ludwig! What are you doing with Rainbow?Prinzessin Xena, I didn’t expect you back so soon.

Obviously not! Get. Out. Of. My. Bed.

Oh, you cannot mean that, my love. You know my affection for you runs deep. I was just, umm, I was just……(whispering) I was just telling Rainbow about my wunderbar visit with you and your family over the Easter holiday. Yes! That is what I was doing.

And you, Rainbow, tell me what happened while I was gone.Ludwig is my boyfriend. He said I have beautiful furs.

You scoundrel Ludwig! I should rip off your ear!

Mommy: Xena! Don’t bite Ludwig. Ludwig! Get out of Xena’s bed, now!

I still love you, my Prinzessin.

No, no you don’t! Just go and leave me be. Rainbow, you get out, too.And stay out!

When there are no words…

Post-Easter Post

Published on April 3, 2018April 4, 2018 by Xena, Lucy and Chia28 Comments

My brother Adam celebrated Easter with me and Lucy and Mommy and Daddy and Ludwig. Here is what the peeps ate.As our guest, Ludwig was offered some, but he politely declined, saying he was not hungry.

Me and Lucy had deer burger and chicken livers and broccoli and some other yummy things.

Too soon, it was time to go back to work, and Ludwig went with us. He was worried about Mommy’s printer, which had been left unguarded since last Thursday. Who knows what could have happened to it without Ludwig there guarding it!

Ludwig, you look awfully tense.

My Prinzessin, your family’s hospitality was without reproach, and your castle magnificent; however, I must return to my duties, post-haste.

The T-Lex will have us there in less than half an hour, Ludwig. I’m sure everything will be ok. Try to relax.

It is true that I did not sleep well last night, I was so conflicted, fretting about the absence from my job while enjoying time with you, my love, my beautiful Xena.

Soon…Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

15 minutes later…

*yawn* I’ve got my new rainbow bear Mommy gave me for Easter. Zzzzzz.

Frau Mommy’s printer is here and is well. I have not failed!

Frau Mommy: Where is my wastebasket? Who took my wastebasket? Has anyone seen my wastebasket? It was right here when we left on Thursday.

I’m sorry Mommy, but I don’t care where the stupid wastebasket is. Just give me whatever you were going to throw into it. And will you please tell Ludwig I kicked out Rainbow Bear so that he has room in my bed? I miss him.

I am Xena, the Schnauzer (sometimes Warrior) Princess alone in my bed.

Xena’s Visitor

Published on March 29, 2018 by Xena, Lucy and Chia20 Comments

Xena: Hi Ludwig. Why are you wearing my walking vest?

It is because Das Mommy has invited me home for Easter holiday.

Xena: Really? That’s great! You’ll get to meet my big sister Lucy and, and (quietly) you might like her…more than you like me… and then… No, no, Ludwig, you wouldn’t like it at my house at all! Not at all! Lucy might eat you. You’ve gotta tell Mommy you can’t come. But that would be rude, lovely Prinzessin. You must not ask me to do that.

A few minutes later…

Xena: So this is my car, Herr Ludwig. It’s name is T-Lex after my Angel Sister Lexi. It goes really fast, but you mustn’t be afraid. You can look out the windows and see other cars and people and buildings and all kinds of stuff.

This is fun, Prinzessin Xena. I would like to have a T-Lex also. It is wunderbar.

Xena: Ludwig, wake up! We’re almost home.

Xena: First the important stuff. This is the toy basket. Those are my toys. Understand? My toys.I have no need of toys, beautiful Xena. After all, I have you.

Lucy: Who is your friend, Xena? Can I play with him?

Xena: No! Er, I mean, I’m showing Ludwig around, so please don’t bother us right now. Why don’t you go see if our supper is ready? And ask Mommy to set a place for Ludwig, too.

3 hours later…

Xena: What am I gonna do, Lucy?I don’t know, Xena. He’s your problem. You brought him home and told me to stay away from him. All I know is this is my bed and you can’t sleep here.

I am Xena, the Schnauzer Warrior Princess with nowhere to lay my head.

Xena’s Big Adventure at Shamrock City

Published on March 18, 2018 by Xena, Lucy and Chia26 Comments

Hi, this is Lucy with another installment of Mom Grooming.

Xena: Wait! I want to tell about my adventures at Shamrock City on St. Patrick’s Day.

Lucy: So that’s where everyone went without me yesterday.

Xena: Yep, and I got poop-faced.

Lucy: Oh, no! Go ahead…I can’t wait to hear about this!

Xena: Te he, well, it started like this. Daddy is the Em Cee during the two weekends of Shamrock City and he teaches Irish folk dance, so he has to go. Mommy doesn’t usually go to Rock City in March ’cause it’s either cold or raining or both. But this year, it was a perfect day with sunshine and the temperature in the 70’s F. On the way up Lookout Mountain Mommy reminded me that I went to Rock City last October, right after my adoption. She said at first I was very scared of the band, but then I realized it wasn’t a monster chasing after me and I relaxed and enjoyed myself.

Mommy, everyone here is wearing green. Why didn’t you get me a St. Patty’s day shirt? Look! The band is getting ready to play!Daddy said they are called the Olta Band and they all live in Chattanooga.

When the Olta Band went on break, Mommy and I (Mommy taught me that is the right way to say that instead of me and Mommy) anyhow ~~me and~~ Mommy and I walked around the park. I read some pee mail and also left some of my own. We saw this amazing green water fall…

…and a plaque that told about the married couple who started Rock City. Their names are Garnet and Frieda Carter. Click on the picture to read about that, but be sure to come back, ’cause I haven’t gotten to the good part yet.

Lucy: So, Xena, where’s the part where you got in trouble?

Xena: I didn’t get in trouble. And I’m getting to it. Be patient!

When we got back to the pavilion, scary Mr. Rocky was there. He tried to be nice to me, but jeepers creepers, wouldn’t you run if you saw him coming at you? But then Mommy wanted to take our picture all together and I was in Daddy’s arm and I knew Daddy wouldn’t let anything bad happen, soooo…I decided to take this opportunity to check out Rocky’s big nose.

Lucy: So did you go get poop-faced to calm your nerves after that?

Xena: No! Will you pleeeease let me tell my story!?

I went to the patio outside the pavilion and relaxed while Mommy finished her Guinness Beer Float. These two came over to ~~steal Mommy’s beer~~ meet us .

The little girl is a miniature schnauzer, like me, only I think God gave her a double portion when he handed out ears. The big girl is half giant schnauzer and half standard poodle. I don’t remember their names or where they live. You see, I was concentrating on the cup in Mommy’s hand.

They finally left, and Mommy put down her “empty” cup and picked up her Fire tablet to read a book. She looked down when she heard a man behind her laughing.I looked up too, but the cup was stuck on my face. Mommy got it off right away, ’cause she knows that can be very dangerous. At the time, I didn’t care, ’cause OMD, that Guinness flavored ice cream stuck to the insides of the cup was sooooo tasty!Yep, that’s ice cream residue all over my face, and I couldn’t stop grinning.

So, Lucy, that’s why I want to tell my story today. Can you tell the grooming story another day? Please?

Lucy: Uh, yep. And now I know why you didn’t go to Shamrock City with Dad today.

This is Xena, the brave Schnauzer Warrior Princess taking a “rest” day at home.

Thursday is my Friday

Published on March 16, 2018March 15, 2018 by Xena, Lucy and Chia17 Comments

Everyone talks about Friday being their last work day. Mine is Thursday. It’s a good day. I get to see some of my favorite people, and this week was special. On Wednesday, there was a meeting of lots of ladies and they ate lunch together in a big room upstairs. On the way to work, Mommy told me this was going to happen, and she explained how she expected me to behave. This was the first time I was around more than just a few people. I was a brave girl, and was nice to everyone. Mommy said she was very, very proud of me.

The whole thing was fun but exhausting, so after my lunch I needed to take a long rest with Mr. Hedgehog. Herr Ludwig came over to say hi, and then had to go back to guarding Mommy’s printer.

On Thursday, Mommy told me the same thing on the way to work, but that it was going to be a big group of nice pastors meeting in the church-instead of nice lady members-who all want to pet me. I went up to the pastors and wagged my tail and gave them my most adorable look. They all ~~bought it~~ thought I was pretty, and I got lots of attention. Later, Pastor Evelyn told Mommy that when they went into the big room called the sanctuary, I went as far as the door and didn’t go in. She said I was a very good girl. ( I remembered that Mommy told me not to go in there, so I guess I was a good girl.)

Thursday was sunny and warm, so, after everyone left, me and Mommy went outside for a while. I found that some other dog had been in my church yard and left his poop there. Mommy said, “Ick! Leave it.” The grass is full of interesting smells.

Pretty soon it was time to go home, go for a walk, eat my supper, visit with Lucy, and go to bed. It’s been a very busy week.

I am Xena the Very Good Girl Schnauzer Warrior Princess

I Shopped at Walmart

Published on March 13, 2018March 10, 2018 by Xena, Lucy and Chia35 Comments

On the way home from work, I got to go shopping at Walmart with Mommy. When we first parked, I didn’t know where we were. Then I saw the sign.

I started looking for where we would go into the store.

Then Mommy told me that someone else had already done the shopping for us, so I should watch for them to come out with a big rolling cart.

I saw a lot of cars going by and hoped the store person didn’t have to cross that dangerous traffic with my food.

Then I saw the door where people were coming and going, and figured that must be where all the good food came out, too.

Since I had to wait, I decided to check out lunch leftovers. Dang, nothing but an empty bag. Yep, lunch is why my beard looks like this, BOL! I think that’s my tummy I hear growling.

Look smart! Here they come! Mmmm, I hope there’s lots of goodies in there for me and Lucy.

Hey! Stop putting those in the trunk! Put those chickie wings in the back seat where I can eat them NOW. My Guardian Angel Lexi taught me that NOW is when I should get the things I want. It was part of her mantra.

I am Xena the Schnauzer Warrior Princess Walmart Shopper

Happy Birthday Madi

Published on March 11, 2018March 11, 2018 by Xena, Lucy and Chia21 Comments

Today for Madi’s 16th Birthday Celebration, Mom will tell about how she learned to drive.

Xena: *yawn*

My Grandma was afraid to teach Mom, so she hired a professional driving teacher when Mom was 17. He said she was “a natural” and she passed her driving test the first time.

Xena: Seriously? People get paid to teach people how to drive? It just doesn’t look that hard. Push a stick here, turn a wheel there, move your feet around, and voilà, we are where we are going. Kind of sounds like a Dr. Seuss story, doesn’t it?

Don’t interrupt me, Xena. Where was I? Oh yes. Just a year or so sooner and Mom would have learned in the family ’54 Buick Century. The seats were blue, so Grandma called it Blue Belle. Grandma had to get another car because of all the salt on the roads to melt the snow. The salt killed that big, heavy car. Even its eyes fell in. This is a picture of what it looked like (credit to Mr. Google).

Xena: No wonder Mommy doesn’t let us have much salt. Uh, Lucy, isn’t that Angel Lexi in the back seat? Was she with Mom way back then?

Um, I don’t think so, Xe. We’ll have to check with Mom about that.

Here’s a picture from January, 1960, of the actual car with my Grandma and her sister in front of the apartment where Mom grew up.

Xena: Wait, Lucy. Who is that running from behind the bush?

*eyes wide* Let’s just keep going.

When Mom got a boyfriend…

Xena: Mommy got a boyfriend? Really? You’re fibbing, Luce. Mommy would never have a boyfriend. She’s married to Daddy.

When Mom got her first boyfriend a long time before she met Dad, he taught her how to drive something called a straight shift in his old Chevy Nova. We have another picture of what it looked like, courtesy again of Mr. Google. Mom says it was old and beat up and had red seats and didn’t look nearly that good.

Here’s the funny part. Her boyfriend lived out in the country with lots of woods. One part had a dirt track around it, so he showed Mom how to change gears and told her to just drive around the track. She got going too fast and forgot which foot to use for the brake ’cause there were now three pedals instead of two. This silly boy stood in the track waving his arms and yelling at her to stop. She didn’t want to run him over so she swerved into the woods and the car bumped over rocks and big sticks and barely missed trees until it finally stalled out on top of a log. A few days later, after he fixed his car, he took Mom into town and told her to drive his car around while he went into a store. The main road, State Street, was on a bit of a hill. Mom had stopped at a red light, and the car behind her kept running into her bumper. Finally, the man got out of his car and came up to Mom’s window. He explained that it was her drifting back into him, and did she have her foot on the break. She said no, just on the clutch. So that’s how Mom learned to drive a stick shift.

Xena: I think I will just learn to drive our T-Lex.

Our what?

Xena: Our T-Lex. That’s what Mommy named the car she bought for Angel Lexi before Lexi was an Angel. It’s a Toyota Lexus, hence T-Lex. Isn’t Mommy funny, he, he? How old do I have to be to drive?

I think 16 years old.

Xena: Oh. Well let’s just wish Madi of Madi and Mom a very, very happy 16th birthday, and happy driving!

Lots of love from Lucy, Xena and Mom

This is a blog hop, but since Mom ~~isn’t smart enough~~ can never get linked up properly, just hop over to Madi and Mom’s blog to leave your birthday wishes and hop along.

Baby Held

Published on March 9, 2018March 7, 2018 by Xena, Lucy and Chia29 Comments

It’s Baby Hold time at work. And guess who the baby is.

I learned a new song and I’m going to sing it for all my friends:
I sing because I’m happy, I sing because I’m free,
For His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Did you like my song? I’ve got more where that came from.

Mmm. It feels so good to throw my head back and stre-e-e-etch.

Sleepy? Why do you think I’m *yawn* sleepy?Mmm. Mommy hugs are *yawn* good too.I am Xena, the Baby Held Schnauzer Princess …Warrior?

A Happy Ending or The Cruel Cut

Published on March 7, 2018March 7, 2018 by Xena, Lucy and Chia28 Comments

I am so very happy to see you again my Prinzessin Xena.

Why are you back Ludwig. Didn’t Mommy tell you to stay away from me? Come any closer and I will bite your face again.

All the face-biting in the world will not keep me from you, beautiful one. If that is what I must endure to be close to you, then so sei es. You truly are a Warrior Prinzessin.

Well, I won’t be your girlfriend. I want to keep my options open. My Guardian Angel Lexi told me she was almost 12 years old before she got a boyfriend. She had her career to think about and couldn’t be distracted. She was a famous actress, you know. I might be famous at something someday too. And besides, how do I know it’s safe to be around you? You certainly haven’t been behaving yourself.

No need to worry about that any more, my lovely one. The Mommy had that problem “fixed.”

This is Xena the Schnauzer Warrior Princess with a safe new friend.

Xena’s Dr. Seussism

Published on March 2, 2018February 16, 2019 by Xena, Lucy and Chia17 Comments

I awoke from my nap and saw these fishies swimming by in the air. I thought maybe I was supposed to catch my own lunch. And this odd hat was perched on my head. Then, suddenly, these words came out of my mouth. Mommy says I’ve been infected by Dr. Seuss. I hope I won’t need a shot.

I am Xena Schnauzer Dr. Seuss Warrior Princess

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This Is What You Do?

Published on February 26, 2018February 26, 2018 by Xena, Lucy and Chia47 Comments

Mom: Xena, do you know anything about this? I leave you alone for two hours and this is what you do? I tried to be Kind by putting you in a nice big bathroom instead of in a kennel, and this is what you do?

How do you know I did that? Uh, Lucy might have gone in and chewed it after you let me out.

Maybe if you just left me free in the house with Lucy, things like that wouldn’t happen.

2 weeks later

Mom: Xena, you know I don’t leave you alone very often. I did what you asked and you were doing so well. Then, I leave you with Lucy and your sick Dad while I go to a class and this is what you do?

Uh, I was watching for you and, uh, oh boy, am I getting a time-out?

I am Xena the Schnauzer Princess Warrior in time-out

I’m a Big Girl Now

Published on February 15, 2018February 15, 2018 by Xena, Lucy and Chia25 Comments

I feel lousy.

Of all the humiliating things to happen in life…I’ve been “on my period” for over a week. It sucks. I hate my diapers.

Mommy says I am a big girl now, but these make me feel like a baby again. And not in a good way. I never had to wear these things when I was a baby.

Mommy got me what she calls “big girl panties.” I think that’s a fancy name for washable diapers. She has to safety pin them to my shirt so they don’t slide off. It’s ’cause I’ve got a stubby little tail like Angel Lexi, so there’s nothing to keep them in place but a pin and a prayer. Mommy even stuck me with the pin last night. Was it my fault I was moving around trying to see what she was doing? Now I know why she says, “Ow!” a lot when she changes me.

And to make things worse, I’ve had the squirts since Saturday. I feel lousy. I can’t make it outside in time so I have quit even trying. Then I have to get my bummie washed and a clean diapie on. And sometimes the nasty stuff squirts out of the diapy hole where my tail is supposed to be. It’s all very icky.

Since my period started, I don’t take my toys out to the hallway at work anymore. I don’t go to Miss Beth to get baby-held anymore. I don’t even play with Lucy anymore. I understand (sorta) that this misery will make the hormones do their job in making my bones good and other things like that. She says I only have a few more days of feeling down, of my emotions going crazy. I wonder if she has ever been through this.

Oui, Oui, Paris!

Published on February 14, 2018February 12, 2018 by Xena, Lucy and Chia15 Comments

Mom: Surprise Xena! We are in Paris for Valentine’s Day!

Xena: Oh. My. Dog. So that’s why you gave me this scarf that says Paris all over it. Quick, take my picture in front of that pointy thing, or nobody is going to believe this.

Mom: Don’t you want to get closer?

Xena: Nope. This is close enough. It’s big and pointy and I’m not sure if it would hurt me. *click*

Mom: How about this, Xena? It’s not as big and it sure isn’t pointy.

Xena: But what is it?

Mom: It’s a national monument, and it’s called the Arc de Triomphe. Napoleon, the French Emperor, had the Arc built over 200 years ago . He wanted to honor the Grande Armee, the name of the French army at that time. The Grande Armee had conquered most of Europe and was then considered invincible. In other words, no one could beat them at war.

Xena: That’s nice. Now can we go somewhere more interesting?

Mom: Sure, honey. Let’s walk around Paris for a while.

Xena: Look Mommy! It’s a pet store like the Smart Pet place back home, but it’s got my name, “Moustaches.” Let’s go in here!!

Mom: Yes, we can go in, but what do you mean? Your name is Xena, not Moustache.

Xena: My name is Xena the Schnauzer, and schnauzer means both snout and mustache in German. That’s how my breed got that name.

Mom: Huh? How do you know that, Xe Xe?

Xena: Sometimes, when I’m working on my new puter – you know, the one I got for Christmas – I talk to Mr. Google and he told me. *whispers* But I only do that on my official breaks and at home.

Mom: If you are done browsing in Moustaches, let’s go get something to eat.

Xena: How about here? It’s real pretty and it smells good, too.

Xena: Oh goodness, my chicken salad was good. I thought le garçon was going to faint when I asked for the chicken livers raw. Et la steak tartare, oo la la! C’est magnifique!

Mom: Xena! You’re speaking French!

Xena: Really? The words just sort of came out. Did it sound ok? Could you understand me?

Mom: Certainement! How about if we go up to montmartre. Are you ready for lots of outside stair steps, like over 300?

Xena: Race you!

Mom: *pant pant* Here is one of the most famous cathedrals in all the world. It is called *pant pant* Sacré-Cœur, or *pant pant* Sacred Heart.

Xena: Ohhhh, let’s go inside.

Mom: Well, if they’ll let us.

Xena: I’m the church puppy. Of course they will let us!

See, I told you they would let us in. My, this is so, so big! Does God live in here?

Mom: No, sweetie. God lives in you and me and all of his creatures. People come to places like this to worship God together, and to feel his love and his presence within themselves. God is the goodness glue that holds all of the universe together.

Xena: Do you mean the Methodists, Mommy? Cause that’s the only church I’ve been to.

Mom: Not just the Methodists, Xe Xe. God loves everyone: all Christians, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, people of all faiths, and even people who don’t have their own faith. We are all his Valentines and he loves us all.

Xena: Happy Valentine’s Day, God!!

Mom: *smile* Let’s look around, precious girl. Do you see all the little alcoves off of the nave?

Xena: What’s a nave, Mommy?

Mom: It’s another word for a sanctuary, like we have at work at St. Luke. Anyhow, two hundred years ago when France had kings and queens and other aristocracy, those families paid the Catholic Church to have their own little chapels to worship in, right there off of the main cathedral. They could also pay to have a crypt where they would be buried after they died.

Xena: Ewwww. Do you mean someone dead is in that box? Ewwww.

Mom: Uh, maybe we should look around outside some more in montemartre…

Xena: Mommy, I’m really tired. Can we go home now? Will you carry me?

Mom: Sure, Xena. I love you, my little Valentine. ❤

Xena: Happy Valentines Day, Mommy. I love you to Paris and back!

Mom’s note: Please click Xena’s postcard to find everyone else who celebrated in Paris.

A Visit with My Cousins

Published on February 12, 2018February 12, 2018 by Xena, Lucy and Chia27 Comments

Hi friends! I’ve been gone away all weekend with my Mommy. Did you miss me? We went to visit with Auntie Jen and Uncle Bill and my cousins Piper and Ella. Ella remembered me!

Xena! You’re here!

Ella is a great sister to Piper. Since his eyes don’t work anymore, he can get lost when he’s out in the big fenced back yard. So Ella goes out and helps him find his way back to the door. She’s Piper’s seeing eye dog! When she isn’t helping Piper, she likes to watch TV, especially the sports stuff.

I think they called that play wrong.

At first I didn’t recognize Piper. He sleeps a whole lot now (he’s 14 years old) and his beard gets all matted, so Auntie Jen cut it off. Ever wonder what a schnauzer would look like without a beard?

I can’t tell who’s there. Say something.

Yep, well, Piper also gets cold real easy ’cause – according to Mommy – he doesn’t have any meat on his bones. Isn’t that a funny thing to say? So me and Ella went with Mommy and Auntie Jen to the Co Pet Place in search of a new sweater for Piper. I saw a dog coming out as we were going in so I started to bark and I barked the whole way going in and I barked inside, too. I was screaming “Beware! The Schnauzer Warrior Princess is here!” Soon I found out that I was to be the model, er fitter, er ummm, sir-eee-gut for Piper. How it worked was whenever Mommy found something that she thought would work well for Pipie (I like to call my cuz Pipie), she would try it on me and if it was a little big on me, she knew it would fit him. ‘For too long, Mommy and Auntie Jen found matching hoodies for Pipie and Ella and a new toy for Ella ’cause she was so good getting her nails cut at the Co Pet Place. No, I didn’t get anything, but I really didn’t mind this time.

‘For too long, we got back to Ella’s house and my cousins got to try on their new hoodies. Since Piper can’t see anymore, I guess it didn’t matter that the hoodie fell down over his eyes.

Piper said he at least needed to hear, so his Mommy helped him out with that.

Actually, Ella’s came down over her eyes too.

I suppose that’s why she kept squeaking her new Valentine’s bear and didn’t see that it was drawing someone who wanted her stuffie.

In the meantime, my Auntie Jen was making weird beeping sounds and laughing. I think it had something to do with the new hoodies. Then this happened.

Mom! Piper has my new stuffie!

Turns out Pipie just wanted to check out what was squeaking and Ella soon had her stuffie back. We had a great time, except for one yuckie incident, which Mommy will tell you about another time.

I am Xena the Schnauzer Warrior Princess telling it like it is at the Co Pet Store.

Disappointments

Published on February 7, 2018 by Xena, Lucy and Chia24 Comments

Super Bowl Sunday

That doesn’t look like soup. Where’s our souper bowl, Mommy?

Can me and Lucy have some anyhow?

Xena: This is a gyp. That TV’s making too much racket.I wish they’d shut it off.

Lucy: I wish Riley was here.

We hope someone got some good soup on Sunday (and got to see their bestie).

Xena and Lucy

Life’s Short, Bite Hard

Published on January 29, 2018January 29, 2018 by Xena, Lucy and Chia32 Comments

One of my blogging friends told me I did the right thing putting my stink on my new bed. Once my stink is on it, it is mine! With that in mind, I decided to get as much of my stink on the bed of He-Who-No-Longer-Exists as I could. Besides, he’s been gone about 87 days and I think by law he has forfeited his right to this bed. Maybe Frankie or Ernie could tell me for sure.

Mommy found Angel Lexi’s other shirt – she only had two shirts and a hoodie because of how much she hated clothes – and tried it on me. It’s the tiniest bit too big, but I have been wearing it anyhow. Maybe I will get more inspiration from Angel Lexi that way – or maybe she is just laughing at me! Can you read it? It says Life Is Short Bite Hard. BOL!