toy surgery – Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess with Lucy and Chia

Xena: While we wait for my video from the Freestyle Trial, I wanted to catch you up on what is going on around home. Do you remember my warning to Riley? Do you remember that he still went ahead and deadied my blue bone? That was bad, but not like deading a real live stuffie. Look who we found, a victim of a Riley attack.

Do you remember that poor old Mr. Elephant was very close with Angel Lexi? Now his guts are falling out of his butt. This isn’t the first time Riley tried to kill him. We think it is because he mattered so much to Angel Lexi. Mr. Elephant had asked that, instead of staying in the big green basket on top of the mantel to stay safe, he be allowed to stay in my kennel. He was ok in there until one day we all forgot to shut my kennel door and Riley saw his chance.

Riley: You two can stop talking about me now. My Dad’s coming to get me.

Lucy: I saw something had to be done immediately if we were to save Mr. Elephant. After thinking for 87 seconds, I made my decision.

I ran to the pantry and got some Tennessee whiskey to steady my nerves and gave Mr. Elephant a drink of it, too. Xena had eaten sauerkraut last night, so I told her to turn around and gas him. Between that and the whiskey, he was out cold. I gathered up some tools and put on my operating mask. Time was ticking and I had to work fast and sure with precision instruments. I also had to be very careful not to close up his bee hind hole. I looked for his tail, but that villain Riley must have eaten it. His right leg was ripped halfway off, so I fixed it to the best of my ability.

About 87 minutes into the surgery, Xena noticed that Mr. Elephant was also missing an ear.

We hurriedly – but carefully – looked under all the furniture. Xena is small enough to be able to scoot under the couch and love seat, and did a thorough search. It was all to no avail. That fiend Riley must have eaten his ear, too. I finished working on his back end, and, with only a short pee and snack break, started closing up the gaping whole where his ear used to be. Xena! Quick! Lick the sweat off my forehead! Thanks!

Mr. Elephant is in the guest room sleeping it off and is expected to make a full recovery. His back leg isn’t exactly straight anymore, so he will have a limp. And we’ll have to remember to stand on his left side when we talk to him.