Noodle, this is for you. (Will someone please tell Noodle to read this!)
Ahem. Noodle. Please sit down. Sit.
Noodle, I have needed for some time to tell you something, but I have been kinda’ scared. I don’t usually suffer from self-doubt – I am a very self-confident schnauzer. After all, I am beautiful, talented, smart and accomplished. But this feeling I have, well, I have never felt like this before about another dog. So now, I am just going to say it. Ahem.
I love you. ❤
Lexi
Hi everyone! It’s Memory Monday again, and I have decided to ask Mom to print a memory about Riley. That should help you understand why I don’t like living with him him living with me. Not only did he stink up the house and mess up the patio, he hijacked my blog to tell everyone about it!
June 18, 2012
In POOP trouble today
I (Riley) got in so much trouble this morning, and I didn’t see it coming. I was bebopping through the house to wish my Mom a good morning when she walked into the living room and saw my, uh, my mistake. I thought Mom was going to kill me she was so mad, but all she did was lecture me and point her finger at me and at the p-o-o-p, first in my kennel and then all over the patio.
She said I should have gone out last night like she told me to. But I don’t like to go out in the dark. And I don’t like to go out by myself (my sis Lexi wouldn’t go with me last night– she had already done her business the first time Mom asked her to) and I don’t like to go off the patio and into the yard.
The patio: that’s where and when the next trouble came. She caught me pooping on the patio this morning. When she came out to try to stop me she saw all the other poo I had left over the last couple of day. And. Just. Lost. It. She made me go into that dirty old yard where my feet get wet and messy. I know I am a big boy, but I have such pretty, dainty feet. I just hate getting them messy. She talked and talked and pointed and pointed and kept telling me what a bad dog I am. I tried to go to the back door but she kept chasing me back into the yard. Then she left me out there! Aghhhh! Dad let me in after she left. I heard him on that little box he talks into telling mom that he had to let me in because it was raining. I don’t think I want to know what she said back to him. But I think I might know because he didn’t put my brand new crate pad in my kennel this morning when he crated me before he left. I was really looking forward to using it and maybe even chewing it a little – or a lot. After all, I am only one year old.
Mom’s gone away for a few days. It’s probably for the best. Maybe she will be happier when she gets home. I sure hope so. I love my Mom lots and don’t like her to be mad at me. I will try to be a good boy and go in the grass. It’s just that paw thing…and the dark thing…
I am Riley the chastised.
I love going to work with Mommy to the church on the mountain. It’s quiet around here today so we went outside to soak up some sunshine while we had lunch. I got a bite of her sandwich, then decided to enjoy myself in one of my favorite spots. I love lunchtime in the garden.
Here’s a very short video Mom took of me relishing the roll in the ivy. See me roll with abandon!
Today is Memory Monday and I was thinking about my first performances as Toto in the Wizard of Oz. Mom had gotten down my Annie award and my head shot and I got so excited when I saw them again. I poked at the Annie and wiggled all over. I remember winning it! Me and Mom and Dad were sitting in the audience. I was wearing a strand of Mom’s good pearls, so I know I looked extra-good. I had already run down the aisle and up the stairs to the stage to help My Dorothy present an award. So we were just sitting there politely waiting for the awards to end when the director, Geoffrey, announced that the Director’s Choice award went to….wait for it….Lexi!!!!! I jumped out of my seat and ran back down the aisle so fast that I left Mom in my wind. The audience was cheering and clapping for me as Mom mounted the stairs to the stage and picked me up. I leaned into the microphone to give my acceptance speech, and everyone laughed. I decided to leave it at that and let Mom talk for me. I worked very hard for that award and am still proud of it.
After reminiscing a bit about my award, I poked at my head shot picture with my nose until it almost fell over. Mom knew I was saying, ‘That’s me!” I asked Mom to share some of my memoirs from that time.
Memory Monday
October 2, 2006
I am the star. That’s what everyone says. They say I steal the show, but honest, I didn’t steal anything. I just run out on the stage (at least most of the time) when Mom says, and get treats, and run off, back to Mom who is always there waiting for me. Now I have found that I can go down the front stairs and off the stage into the audience. That’ a hoot. Mom seems kinda freaked out when I get back, though. She says she can’t see me and isn’t sure if I am coming back. I know when I have to be back for when the good witch points at me and says, “Is that the witch?” Silly Mommy! I haven’t missed my cue yet. And those monkeys – oooooh I don’t like those monkeys. I run as fast as I can when I see them coming and Mom picks me up. But then she hands me to one of the monkeys! So, the last time they came after me, I ran into my kennel off-stage where I would be safe. When I came out of my kennel, thinking they were all gone, Mom picked me up and handed me to one of them again. I don’t know how I am going to stop her from doing this. Doesn’t she know they are scary?? I am Lexi the star.
October 5, 2006
I keep adding things to my part as Toto, as the audience notices and responds. I have, however, decided to leave one thing out, and Mom has finally stopped trying to make me do it, because I am not going to do it anymore. Period. End of discussion. Those trees scared me. They walk around and dance and act entirely not like trees. Well, they got in my way after I skipped – well I try to skip – with Dorothy and the Lion and the Tin Man and the Scarecrow across the stage. It is the third time I sort of skip down the proverbial yellow brick road during the play. The first two times went fine. Then that third time those trees, oh those nasty moving trees, got in my way and it scared me and I will not do that again when they are on the stage. Absolutely, positively not. I am LexiToto.
October 12, 2006
So there I was near the front of the stage close to all my adoring fans, and I was getting a bit bored just standing there with my good pals – no one was feeding me or petting me or singing to me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the wicked witch sneaking across the back of the stage. Thinking it would be great fun, I turned and ran after her, barking as loudly as I could. She kept stopping and motioning with big waves of her arm to go away. I glanced over at Mom in the wings (isn’t that a funny name for part of a building that can’t fly!) and she was making big waving motions at me too. She must have been really enjoying my impromptu performance. Then my good pals, the lion and the scarecrow and Dorothy all started looking from side to side and saying, “What can Toto be barking at?” Silly people, I was right behind them! The audience started laughing so of course I kept it up until the witch was clear off the stage. What a great time that was! I tried it again the next night to see if people still thought it was funny, and they did, so I am just going to add it to my part. Won’t the wicked witch be surprised!
Now, for more Memory Mondays from some of my friends:
Memory Monday by Noodle the Schnoodle (my boyfriend). Check out his peanut butter memory
Hmmm, do you detect a theme starting? Well, we are dogs!
https://noodle4president.wordpress.com/2015/06/08/memory-monday-2/
It’s a lazy, boring Sunday. Mom cleaned the house this morning and didn’t find any hidden treats for me. It’s already over 90 degrees out – way too hot to do anything outside. So I got to thinking, why not start my Memory Monday a day early? (Mom said to remind everyone who wants to participate to send me a link to their post today or early tomorrow: lexitheschnauzer@gmail.com.)
My boyfriend Noodle had such a horrible day yesterday, I tried to remember my best day, so I wouldn’t keep feeling bad for him. And I thought maybe it would cheer him up, too. Of course, the first day I thought about was Noodle and my first date. He really swept me off my feet!
Since most everyone already knows about our date, I tried to think back further, way before I knew Noodle. I thought back to the fall of 2007, to a day that included a dog park, french fries, Rock City, and a restaurant. All in one day! I was only four years old, and it was so good that I still remember it! First thing in the morning, Mom and Dad took me to my favorite dog park where I ran and ran and smelled all the other dogs’ stories. When I was finished at the dog park we went to Micky D’s and I got my very own order of French fries. While I munched on my fries, Mom and Dad drove me up Lookout Mountain to Rock City, where we work at Rocktoberfest every October. My job there is to be the “German dog” and let the kids pet me. All Mom and Dad do is teach polka in their funny costumes. How do you like Mom’s wig?
After a full afternoon at Rock City, we drove back down the mountain to an area in Chattanooga called the Arts District. We went to Tony’s Restaurant that has patio seating where I was allowed to sit, too. As if that wasn’t enough of a great surprise, my bestest friend Pierre joined us for supper. I hadn’t seen him for a long time, and it made my heart happy. I fell asleep on the way home with happy memories of a day full of wonderful surprises running through my head.
First, the most important thing. I am feeling much better this afternoon. Mommy gave me a half feeding of my regular chow. I have been staring at her for the last 70 minutes telling her I am ready for the other half. I’m a schnauzer. I am persistent with a very long attention span.
Next, it has been brought to my attention (thank you, Noodle) that the e-mail address I gave for Memory Mondays is not working. Please use this one: lexitheschnauzer@gmail.com. And please resend your blog if you tried earlier and it didn’t work.
Finally – oh, wait! Mom, can I have some of those potato chips? Not on my life? Well, then, how about some more dog food?
Back to what I was saying. The very best dog friend in the whole world ❤ posted a Memory Monday and it is now on my original blog, Memory Mondays. Check it out!
My friends,
Thanks to creative pups and kitties and their moms and dads, we now have wonderful Selfie Sundays and Wordless Wednesdays. Now, I propose Memory Mondays. Because most of you have not read my blogs from early in my life, I am going to post one each Monday. I invite you to do the same. And if you don’t have earlier blogs, you can blog a memory from scratch. If you will e-mail a link to the blog to lexi@lexitheschnauzer.com, Mom will post the link on my Memory Mondays page. Please be sure to include the pup or kitty’s name(s) who are in the blog. Let’s see how this goes!
Lexi’s Memory Monday blog:
July 25, 2005
YES! I’ve got new all grown up pictures now on my web page. I am so proud of them. And I didn’t even have to get groomed again (although Mommy snuck up on me and gave me a bath first – yuck). I think I should be clean enough after swimming in the Tennessee River. Speaking of which, Mom let me swim a little without my life vest on Saturday. It was a little scary, but Mom says I am an excellent swimmer! Now she is seeing great big turtles where I was swimming and says I have to wear my life vest all the time again “just in case.”
I didn’t get off the boat on Sunday at all, because I am still trying to figure out what this just in case is all about. Then my boat started not working so well, and we went home. Drat! I was getting to eat cheese twirls, and I was doing what Mom called self-serve in the boat bag because she had my special biscuits just lying loose down in there.
Maybe I will throw up in Mommy’s bed tonight. Won’t she be surprised!
Memory Monday posts:
June 2, Noodle took the challenge, because he is the bestest boyfriend ever! Check it out at the Adventures of Noodle.
Last Monday Mom noticed I had a crusty spot inside my right ear flap, near the tip. Friday, on the way to work, Mom noticed I had developed an identical crusty spot near the tip of my left ear. And I was shaking my head a lot. So she took a slight detour from work and went to a vet on the mountain. They gave me an appointment for later that afternoon, at which time they stuck a stick up my patooti and declared I had ear yeast. The lady vet was filling a prescription for antibiotics to help rid me of ear yeast when Mom said no, it would be cheaper to get it at the drugstore. So off we went with a piece of paper and a bottle of liquid that I was to later find out was meant for torture. Apparently I wasn’t listening very well when the instructions were given to Mom to “fill both ears with the liquid, massage behind the ears, and let Lexi shake it all out.” *sigh*
After work we dropped the paper off at the drugstore and went home, intending to pick up my new medicine a little later. Before a little later came around, the person at the drugstore called Mom to ask her if she knew this medicine was almost one hundred dollars. By the look on Mom’s face, I could tell that was a lot. It was supposed to be generic. The drugstore person said this strength didn’t come in generic, but that the vet had it for eighteen dollars. Mom said I could wait until Monday to start my new medicine, which was the next time she would be on the mountain. In the meantime, she would keep using the special liquid in my ears.
This is Sunday, and I won’t have my medicine until tomorrow. So we know that is not what caused my butt squirts. They started in the middle of the night (thank you, Dad, for getting up and letting me out). Then even worse right after the sun came up (thank you, Mom, for getting up and letting me out). Then came the really bad news. Mom squirted some yukky pink stuff in my mouth and said no food until this stopped.
Mommy decided to let me eat some plain rice for dinner. That didn’t cause any problems so she cooked me an egg and mixed it with a little more rice. We are still waiting to see what happens…
We had mailbox ants today. There were hundreds, maybe thousands, of little black ants all engaged in moving piles of tiny white grains inside our mailbox. Mom thinks they were the queen’s eggs. Mom didn’t have any ant spray so she used flea spray. Quick thinking, eh? Anyone seen anything like this before?
My bestest friend Auntie Cary packed me my very own lunch today. We had a lovely time eating together at noon at the church on the mountain. She forgot the broccoli, but the chicken was very good. Then she left, and did not take me, even though I made it very clear I wanted to go with her. I patiently waited for her to return:
I was waiting outside with Mom when Auntie Cary returned. She said I could stay with her while Mom ran a church errand. I talked to her before we went inside so she understood how unhappy I was that she had left me. She said I was “really something else.” I hope that meant something good.
P.S. She gave me guilt treats. 🙂
Piper – on the left – visited us for the weekend. Mom asked us to be quiet for a moment to honor all who have served our country and to remember those who have given their lives for this great nation. That was asking a lot of two schnauzers, but we agreed it was a small price to pay. Mom also explained that this was one of the reasons I have the freedom to be a church dog. So I will be silent (oh, this is so hard) for a moment. *silence*
I am Lexi, the all-American dog.
There are no pictures to show today. That’s because Mom left me home. All alone. With my schnauzer cousin Piper. And my Dad. And my people brother Andrew. And my bestest friend Jentry. And The Boy. Yep, all alone. Mom didn’t take me to work. She left me home all alone, where pictures are not taken. I mostly stayed in the closet in my kennel. All alone.
Then, after Dad shut the bedroom door and left the house too, Jentry came looking for me. She finally found me all alone in my kennel in the closet. I wouldn’t come out. She thought I must have done something wrong. Why does everyone always assume I am a bad dog? She finally coaxed me to come out, but I just stood there with my head hung low. That made her think even more that I had committed some heinous crime. Finally, she asked me if I didn’t want to be shut up in the bedroom with Piper. Hallelujah! She got it! That got me talking. Bowowow and arruf. After I unburdened myself to her, she asked me if I wanted to spend the rest of the day downstairs with her. I said yes and off we went. Being home alone the rest of the day wasn’t so bad anymore.
Today was my second day at my new work. Mommy is not pleased. With me. At all. Last Thursday I got confused – that’s my story and I’m sticking with it. I thought I was supposed to be a guard dog. Someone should have explained to me that I was supposed to be a good dog welcoming committee. Yep, Lexi, the welcoming committee of one. You know everything is done by committee in churches. So today, on the way to work, Mommy spent time outlining my boundaries. NO growling, and NO barking. I guess I didn’t hear the NO part. Hey, these people tried to walk into my office without even asking. They are lucky all I did was growl And the preacher, well, I didn’t recognize him until I had already barked a couple of times. Come on…I had only ever seen him once, and he didn’t give me any treats that time either. *sigh* Now the mean old lady I live with Mommy is threatening to not take me to my job any more. Dad looked especially upset when she told him that. In fact, Mom said that I was so bad at work today that she wasn’t going to memorialize it with any pictures. Grrrr. (Oops, that’s what got me in so much trouble.)
On the way home we stopped at a quickie oil change joint. I thought that Mom must not have been as mad as earlier, ’cause she put me in charge of her credit card while the people changed the oil in our car.
But that wasn’t true. She said I could guard her credit card because I was such a mean old thing that no one would try to take it. 😦
I am Lexi the guard good schnauzer.
Mom and I got the new church job! She starts Tuesday. I start Thursday. BOWOWOWOWOWOW!
I am Lexi, the employed schnauzer.
A picture’s (or pictures) worth a thousand words:
My special guy Noodle did this for me for my birthday today! ❤
Just a couple hours before we’re off to South Beach. Pick you up soon.
Mom made dog bone-shaped cookies to take to work to celebrate my birthday today. I helped get rid of the broken ones, then helped to clean the beaters
My birthday is actually tomorrow, but we won’t be at the church tomorrow, and Mom didn’t want anyone to miss out. My new bestest friend Cary brought me a treat present. She knows what I like. I am going to start calling her Auntie Cary because she loves me and I stay with her most of the time I am at the church.
Mom told me she had a surprise for me after work today. I thought maybe we were going to the dog treat store, but Mom said it was something even better. She said if I was on my best behavior I might have a new job! We went into a different church and got interviewed. They would let us come on Tuesdays and Thursdays when we aren’t working at the church on the mountain. How great is that! When we were almost done, Mom and the people interviewing us started negotiating salary. I nudged her and she knew I wanted her to just take the job!! They had already asked if I would come to work for free. 🙂 Now we have to wait until Friday to find out if they can meet her salary requirements. She came down a lot from her first number, and they came up a lot from their first number, so maybe they can meet in the middle. I sure hope so. It seems like a good place to work, and I would be the only church dog there. What a great birthday present this would be! Everyone please keep your paws crossed.
I am Lexi, the double church dog.
I went to the vet (unwillingly) and got my yearly exams and vaccinations today. The doc also talked Mom into getting a HW test done. It was negative. I could have told them that – I have a strong, worm-free heart. They also stuck that glass stick up my patooty and used what came out for a fecal. No worms. I could have told them that – I have a strong, worm-free colon. When we were done, the vet gave my Mom a piece of birthday cake. When Dr. Poston saw Mom looking at me with cake on her spoon, she said, “You’d better not let me see you give her any of that,” to which Mom replied, “Then you’d better shut your eyes.” Go, Mom! (I also got Arby’s curly fries on the way home.)
I am Lexi, the healthy, worm-free schnauzer.
I’ve known that Mom has been hurting inside for a few weeks now. No, not a physical pain, more like an emotional pain. It has gotten worse this week. I finally figured out from her and Dad talking that one of the places we work is closing. I decided that if I refused to leave work, they couldn’t shut it down. That’s why I have been coming out the church door and stopping. Mom has been getting irritated that I wouldn’t come across the parking lot to the car, but she just didn’t understand what I was doing. If she did, she would have just stood there with me, I was sure. It wasn’t until yesterday that I realized it isn’t the church on the mountain but the office downtown that is closing. 
That’s why I wouldn’t go get in the truck yesterday when it was time to go. I wanted to make sure no one came and took our office away from us.
At the end of the day today I didn’t want to leave. I watched the furniture being moved out. I saw the computers being loaded in cars. I knew, I just knew, today was the last day. Mommy says it means there is now room in our lives for a new adventure. I don’t want new, I want what I know, and the people I know. They love me. How are they going to find me. I am not ready to leave and not come back. I feel so sad.
Noodle invited me to go to South Miami Beach with him. Maybe that would make us both feel better. Maybe we can go tomorrow…
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