Oh, boy, I can’t wait. My special guy is going to skype with me tomorrow. I will get to see him live on the computer. We are going to skype at 5:00, right when I usually eat supper. Oh, I hope my stomach doesn’t growl too loudly. I would hate to scare my sweetie!
My love interest, Noodle, may have opened a restaurant in my hometown, Chattanooga.
Noodle, did you start your own restaurant? I think you did so that you could invite me to a real restaurant to eat on my birthday, which is exactly two weeks away! ❤ I hope the To Go sign doesn’t mean that we can’t go inside…
P.S. I was a very good dog all day.
It all started when Dad showed up where Mom works downtown. I was so happy: we were all together. Then Dad asked Mom if she would like to go to lunch. Mom said yes and hooked up my leash and outside we went. Like a good girl, I did my business so I wouldn’t get too excited and have an accident in the restaurant. You won’t believe what happened next…Mom took me back inside and left me! I did something then that would clearly let them know how displeased I was at being left behind. Mom was not happy when she got back and saw the wet spot on the carpet, including the wet trail I made to put a punctuation point on my point. But I figured she got the message.
After work we met Dad again at the house where we used to live. He had the lawn mower and instead of letting me help outside, Mom stuck me in the house and left me alone in there. I was not happy. So, once again, I made sure Mom saw my displeasure. When she came in the house after mowing, it was Mom’s turn to be not happy. She still gave me a drink of water.
We got home at 6:00, a whole hour late for my dinner. Would you believe that instead of hurrying to fix my dinner, Mom sat down at the sewing machine? She made this skirt and sewed it onto one of The Boy’s underpants. I thought it was pretty funny that The Boy was going to have to wear a skirt on his rear end…I guess the joke was on me. Oh, and I never got my dinner. I am not happy.
Mom spent a lot of time working outside today. Seems that part of it was getting my boat the Lexi B the Sammy Joe ready to go to the lake. The boy was outside working with her. He must have been doing a good job because I didn’t hear Mom yell, “Stop doing that and come help.” Then I realized what that must mean – we were going boating! I was so excited about the first time out this season. Of course, I am always excited about going somewhere, especially to the lake! I know Mom was worried about the Sammy Joe starting, seeing how it was the first time out this year. I am very pleased to say she started right up and off we went. I remembered that one of the first things we do is stop so I can get in the lake and swim a lap around the boat. It is very cooling. So I stood at the bow (rhymes with owwww) wearing my pink with white polka dots life vest to let Mom know I was ready. She just shook her head and dipped me real quick-like before pulling me back in. What she had been telling the boy was right – the water was cold! But it was still a lot of fun boating around the lake. Mom took some pictures to share. Notice how it looks like I could flap my ears and fly?
Mom devised a new torture for me. She must sit around thinking up these things. It’s called,”We need to brush your teeth.” What’s the “we” in this? It’s Mom doing all the brushing. Why doesn’t she just go brush her own teeth? Again. Leave my teeth alone; they are perfectly fine just the way they are.
Mom is always reading dog food labels. It might take her an hour to get out of the store when she is buying dog food. Read, read, read, *yawn.*
She asked me to share this article about dog food ingredients. It was a bit surprising, even to my Mom, the dog food aficionado. (Do you like my new word?) It talks about ingredients that are there but not listed (like chicken), as well as ingredients that are listed but not there (like any form of protein, such as chicken). It also gives a tip about what to look for, something easy that even non-dog food aficionados can do. (He, he, I got to use my new word again!) This site is from my vet (bleh!) so it is safe. Just click on the link below the picture. Personally, I think Mom should only feed me what she eats! 🙂
Mom’s back. She didn’t bring me anything. The first morning she was back, she forgot to move my stairs away from the bed, but I was good. After all, I didn’t want to have to wait for my surprise to be discovered and the sheets to be changed before I could go to bed that night.
Have I ever mentioned that we (Mom and Me) listen to NPR every day on the way to and from work? Well, we do. Most of the time. Except when something comes on that Mom doesn’t want to hear, and she pushes a button to change to some country station. There are a lot of country music stations to choose from here in Tennessee. I don’t mind as long as Mom doesn’t play it too loud. Once again, I have gotten off on a bunny trail. Squirrel trail is more like it. I never see bunnies around our house, but there are lots of squirrels. Although there might be a bunny trail now that we are so close to Easter. I will have to check that out.
Where I was going with this is that the last two weeks have been “give us money” time for the local station that plays NPR. Mom has been mostly tuning to the country stations during this time. Yesterday morning she heard the guy who talks on the local “give us money” radio station say it was Battle of the Dogs and Cats Day. The score was dogs-9, cats-5, corn snake-1. I don’t know what the corn snake thought he was doing in this battle. The idea of giving dogs another point prompted Mom to dig her phone out of her purse and call the radio station while driving zig zag back and forth up the mountain. It was scary exciting and she managed to make it to our turn at the top without plunging off the side. I would have offered to drive, but my legs don’t reach the peddles. Actually, I can get my legs on the peddles, but then I can’t see over the steering wheel, or even over the seat, for that matter!
While still driving, Mom talked to the person who answered the phone and had to spell my name twice for him. I was hoping it was so he could mail treats to me.
As we were pulling into the church where we work, you can imagine my shock when I heard the guy on the radio say, “We have just had a pledge called in by Lexi the Schnauzer.” I sure hope Mom isn’t expecting me to pay it!
I am Lexi, the moneyless schnauzer.
It’s my last day at work…at least until Mom comes back. She is leaving on a plane and not taking me with her. She is going away to have fun with her friend. I feel cheated. I’m not going to have fun with anyone. Dad will still be here and Jentry said she would help take care of me. But they won’t play the “Leave it, find it” game with me or play chase or the “Rats under the covers” game. I think the boy would throw my ball, but he doesn’t know how to do it right. Mom even said she won’t be helping me to blog until she gets back next week. I am sad.
May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,
may God hold you in the palm of His hand.
I live in the moment. I don’t think about yesterday or worry about tomorrow.
For example:
Food – Mom thinks about buying it and fixing it. I eat it.
Shelter – Mom thinks about paying for it and keeping it repaired and comfortable. I live in it.
Attention – Mom hopes I will sit with her and ask to be petted. I get petted when I want it.
Water – Mom, well I don’t know Mom’s relationship with water. I knock my bowl around if it is empty and Mom fills it. I run when a bath is imminent.
Sleep – Mom schedules her sleep for certain night hours. I sleep whenever I want.
It’s good to be me.
I am Lexi.
Tonight, right before dinner time, my Dad left with Jentry and the boy. Dad didn’t feed me before he left. I don’t know if he forgot or just didn’t think it was his job, or what. Then Mom didn’t come home. She is supposed to come home and feed me my supper. I was abandoned. No food, only two bowls of water, no people with hands who could reach and scoop my kibble and yummy soft food. My nose led me downstairs where Jentry had thoughtfully left some cheese fries in a bag where I could reach them. Jentry is my bestest friend. I had to chew through the bag to get to them, but thought maybe that was a new game, like Mom hiding treats for me to find. So I played the game, got to the cheese fries and ate them – all of them. Mom and Jentry and Andrew and the boy finally came home. Mom said she needed some Lexi loving, so I got up on the couch next to her so she could pet me. Next thing I know she is asking Andrew if he had any idea why my stomach was so extended and hard and why I didn’t eat my supper. That’s when she found out about the cheese fries that my bestest friend Jentry left me. I had a lot of explaining to do.
Well, I have to go now. It is bedtime and I need to get my nite nite treat.
Uh, Mom, it snowed overnight.
I was supposed to Skype with Noodle last Friday, but I told him that I had to wash my hair. Now I feel bad. I miss my Valentine boy. I wonder if he would Skype with me this weekend… To help Noodle forgive me for breaking our Skype date last week, I am showing him this picture of me as a puppy. I was about eight weeks old here. Who can resist a puppy? Can someone put in a good word for me? Maybe ask him to look at this picture? I am Lexi, the contrite schnauzer.
After having some time off from my downtown office, I am back to work.
Yes, I do look dead. That is part of my work. No one suspects anything until they try to enter. Bwaaahaha!
I am Lexi, the possum playing schnauzer.
I barked Mom into posting some pictures of when I last competed in Freestyle in 2012. She was very unclear with her signals, so I did a lot of what I wanted to do. Still, I was very excited about competing and taking third place. (No, Mom, I shouldn’t tell them there was only three dogs competing in that category!)
Here we are taking our opening bows. I am watching Mom for my first cue to get started dancing.
I am so excited!
Moving fast, isn’t my beard beautiful?
Here, I execute the under the leg weave as we keep moving forward.
I just made a turn by twirling around on my hind legs.
We are doing an Electric Slide move here to my left.
All done, and getting some loving.
My wonderful friend Noodle gave me the best Valentine’s Day ever. You can get to know Noodle better by visiting his blog: https://noodle4president.wordpress.com
What a wonderful, incredible day I had with Lexi!
It started when I picked her up at her house. Lexi told me she doesn’t like icky heart candies with writing on them so I had to get super creative. All dogs love one thing: BACON! So, I put my skills to work (by asking mom), and got a bouquet of bacon roses to give her:
All ready to go, I got in the car and drove to her house in Tennessee. It was a long drive but it was SO worth it. After a quick “hello” to her Mom and Dad, and making sure her “roses” were safely hidden, we were off to NYC!
We went straight to Central Park for our picnic and bird/squirrel chasing:
And then, we topped the day off with some dancing at a local club:
I had such a great time with Lexi. The…
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I have a good life. It’s because I have everyone trained. I used to go to work with Mom only on Thursdays. Now I go to the church to work on Wednesdays and Fridays and to her other office on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I know my days and am always ready to go. We all stay home on the weekend, so that’s ok. On Mondays I stay home with my Dad. It took a while, but he is finally trained. He gets up very early and lets me out to do my potty. Then he feeds me, always adding the special topping to my kibble. I usually go back to bed for a few hours, then get up in time to pester Dad politely ask Dad to let me out and then to give me my mid-morning treat. A little later I join Dad for lunch and another trip outside. At 1:00 sharp Riley and I accompany Dad down the driveway to the mailbox and get our get-the-mail treat. If someone else has already brought up the mail, we still get our get-the-mail treat. It is only fair. At 3:00 I get my after-school-treat. I always remind Dad if he forgets. Of course I do not attend school, but The Boy does, and I think he gets out of school sometime around 3:00. That is a good time and reason to ask for a treat, as well as to go back out.
It is never too late in the day to practice dominance. Here is how to practice at bedtime with your dad:
I have also taught Dad about the “schnauzer portion.” No matter what he eats, I get a bite. That is, unless it is too spicy and will cause my tummy problems, then he “looks out for me.” That means I don’t get my schnauzer portion. Sometimes at lunch he forgets if he gave me my schnauzer portion and I get another one. I never admit to the first one – I always want more I wouldn’t want him to feel badly that he forgot.
At supper I sit at the table with Mom and Dad. Unlike on my birthday, I do not get my own plate. Mom usually gives me something, and Dad, as I said, is trained to give me the schnauzer portion. I think I have Mom trained too; if it looks like Dad is going to finish without sharing, Mom says, “Did you give Lexi her ‘schnauzer portion?’”
Some of my wonderful new friends get a bit stressed when their moms leave for work in the morning. I know it is because they have been abandoned earlier in their lives. Friends, I hope you see this and understand that your forever mom will be back, and until she returns, you have all day to work on training your dad. He will appreciate the closeness, the interaction, and knowing he is learning to do everything exactly how you want it done. Tip: Be sure the house is stocked with plenty of treats before you begin the training. Sometimes, he will even beg your mom to take you to work with her. I am sure it is so she can benefit from your training techniques as well. Either way, you win.
I am Lexi, the trainer.
Mom was going to ground me from my Valentine’s Day date because I did something naughty at work on Thursday. Thanks to pleas from some of my friends, she changed her mind…and came up with a new punishment. Personally, I don’t think Moms should be allowed to punish their schnauzers. However, she said no one could arrest her for dog cruelty for what she did.
I have to dog-sit my schnauzer cousin Piper. That meant I couldn’t go to work with Mom on Friday. I thought about making my Dad suffer all day for what Mom did, but decided I would play it cool, hoping they would remove this punishment sooner. Nope, he’s still here. Piper was supposed to go home tonight, but now he’s not leaving until Monday night. He eats my food, sleeps in my bed, and snuggles with my Mom. And now Riley is acting like, “Hey Piper buddy, so glad you are back! Let’s play!” At least I get to visit with my Auntie Jen when she picks him up tomorrow night! And I still have my Valentine date with Noodle. Yea!!!
I am Lexi, the contrite schnauzer.
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