Hi. My name is Lucy and I am a runaway. It’s because I have a problem. Her name is Xena.
There, I have admitted it. That is the first step, right? You see, I never ran off from my home until Mommy brought home the cute puppy. Yep, that’s what everyone calls her. Oh, what a cute puppy. Do you have any idea how much I want to stop up my ears every time I hear that? She has ruined my life. I never get time with my Mom and Dad. Well…almost never.
One day not long ago Andrew took me and Riley outside to play. The first thing I did when Andrew looked away was to run off through the woods with Riley, and let Riley take the fall for it. It was easy to get him blamed for corrupting me. After all, I had never run off before.
Sure, they let me sleep in the bed with them now, but I know it’s just because they feel guilty about letting the cute puppy sleep there. They don’t have me fooled.
I was cold, so Mom covered me up and I slept with my head on her pillow.
But the brat the cute puppy got her spot on the bed too!
I just get so sick of Xena taking all my stuff. And she never gets in trouble for it, either.
Mom was with us the next time that we were all in the back yard, outside the fence. I saw her look down at her phone and I took my chance. Riley had just gotten a lecture about not running off, and he told me he was staying put. So I took off into the woods behind the house by myself and Xena followed me. I didn’t really mean to take her. I didn’t want her around me at all. So I sent her back and she was waiting by the fence when Mom came running from scouring the front yard and the woods looking for us. I waited just a bit to see if Mom even cared that I was still gone. When I saw her running around asking everybody if they had seen me, I decided to come back home too.
Yesterday I saw a rabbit and sped off after it. Is it my fault that Riley followed me? Andrew came running after us, but we just kept going. After running and running, we wandered into the yard of a nice family with little kids, and we had a great time playing with them. I had managed to shed my collar with all ID, but Riley still had his on. Two hours later, while Mom was at work, she got a call from the mail lady saying she had seen us in a neighborhood on the other side of a very busy two lane highway. Mom left right away and had gotten as far as our subdivision when she got a call from the man whose house we were at. I wouldn’t go to her. I figured I was in trouble and this would be a nice family to stay with. I mean, why does she need me anymore, anyhow? She has the cute puppy now. Right? Well, she got me into the truck and I jumped back out. The nice man helped Mom by lifting me back into the truck, then lifting in Riley. Then he had to take the cute puppy off of Mom’s back – yes, really, the little thing is like a monkey – before Mom could stand up.
I think the next step is to believe that a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity. I sure hope so. In the meantime, I am grounded. No more off-leash time outside of the fence or house. Oh, and did I already mention that yesterday I lost my pretty red collar with my rabies and name tags? *sigh*
Love with no wiggles, Lucy
Oh, I almost forgot – at least I have tried hard to forget – I went somewhere new called The Vet after work. I was violated. OMD! How can someone do that to the back end of a puppy? Mommy said the people in the next county could hear me scream. I couldn’t tell you much after that, other than the Vet Lady said I was healthy and Mommy said, “No,” to needly things they wanted to stick in me. I think she must have gotten mixed up and taken me to the Halloween Chamber of Horrors I heard someone talking about. Mommy and the Vet Lady also had a disagreement about my food, but nobody yelled or called each other bad names. I know Mommy won, ’cause I am still eating my chickie chick and dear deer.
Mommy and I were sitting up close to all these things called instruments when suddenly, all at once, some people started blowing in them and hitting them and making a terribly loud racket. It scared me a whole lot, and I shook so hard I almost lost all my puppy teeth! Mommy carried me ways away from all that loud noise until I stopped shaking. A lot of people asked to pet me while Mommy carried me around the park. I got so distracted that I didn’t even notice that we were back in the place called a pa villa yawn where all the music was playing.
It’ taking so long ’cause this stupid tape keeps sticking to my tongue.
By request, here are Xena’s stats with a “comparative” picture.
and, and my Mom!! Woohoo! I got to lead the way on the trails and sit with my Momma while we listened to the oompah band, the Wurstbrauts. Mom even helped Uncle Jeff teach polka. The only bad part was when I got tied to a chair. Momma was on the dance floor and Aunt Amy was taking pictures. All these middling size kids kept running past and it kind of scared me. I started yelling “Momma! Amy!, Momma! Amy!” My Mom finally heard me and pointed at me and Aunt Amy saved me. Whew, that was a close call.
Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess with Lucy and Chia 