My Freestyle Video at Last!

Hi folks! With everything shut down you may have forgotten that I am a titled Freestylist! Back in November in Winston-Salem, North Carolina (when I won my title!) the man who did the videos was supposed to do whatever you are supposed to do with them to put them on CD’s and mail them to everyone. Problem was, his wife got sick…really sick. Then his own health went down the tubes and he wasn’t even able to go down to his basement where he keeps all his equipment to work on videos.

After 3 or 4 months, Mommy told the Freestyle Federation that my Daddy both could and would do this for them if someone could get ahold of the raw footage and send it to us. I really don’t understand why we had to get a raw foot, but there you go. They did, and then the COVID-19 thingie hit, and Daddy got real busy producing glorified video-enhanced Zoom productions for our church. Mommy hasn’t seen much of him since that. He kept promising to work on the videos and that date would come and go and he was too busy. The last time that happened, Daddy found out just how upset he had made her. He sat there on our new porch with her for a while, with her ignoring him. When he finally said he guessed he would go downstairs and take care of some things until she was done, she just said ok without looking at him and kept on working on her ‘puter.

About an hour and a half later, he came up and asked if she would like to see my video! Of course, we wanted to see my video! I don’t care if he was trying to get out of the doghouse, I sure wasn’t going to let Mommy say not now!

I’m really, really glad she can’t stay upset like that with me! Anyhow, when I watched the video I saw how great I did, even though Mommy kept saying things like, “I didn’t realize she ran off as much as she did,” and “I can’t believe she titled.” I know how I titled… ’cause I’m great and ’cause they loved me!! Just listen to the roar of the applause at the end!!

Xena’s 1st Freestyle Performance
1st Freestyle Title

Xena the Titled Schnauzer Warrior Princess

Pee Ess: Mommy just suggested to Daddy that he go downstairs and work on the other Freestyle videos. I wonder if he’ll be back up for supper…

Achilles & Ella Vacation Day 5

Lucy: You look bored, Ella. Why don’t you tell me a story about what’s been going on at your house. I heard some of it from Achilles, and now I want to hear it from you, girlfriend.

But you didn’t want to hear how I almost died, Lucy. *thinking* OK, I’m going to give you the quick version.

I stopped eating ’cause I felt uncomfortably full. And I stopped pooping ’cause it couldn’t come out no matter how hard I tried. I felt all “bloated.” My regular vet who I love couldn’t help me ’cause she didn’t have the diagnostic equipment, so Mom spent most of the rest of the day trying to find someone who both could and would help me. Seems a lot of docs aren’t taking new patients during this awful COVID-19 thingie. Finally we went to a great dogtor who used a machine that could see me inside and I had something called a blockage way down in that messy coil of intestines. Can you see the ring on my front arm? That’s where they shaved me and put in a needle to help me go to sleep for my surgery. They fed me and gave me drinks like that too for a while, until I was able to eat again. Do you see the huge black square on my tummy? That’s where they shaved me and cut me open and removed the block from inside my tummy. Who knew my skin is black!?

Lucy: I think your black skin is beautiful, Ella. That is a very scary story, but it has a happy ending. Umm, I’m also glad you gave me the short version!

Ella: Me too, I’m thirsty now. But first, tell me some more about stuff that’s been happening around here.

Lucy *thinking*: Hmm. OK. Riley was spending a lot of time here. Can you believe he still has an ear infection that’s been going on a year or more?

He seemed to really like being here, and would even ask my Dad to play ball with him every night. The first time he asked, he stood right in front of Dad, staring at him, and started barking that really loud, deep bark of his. Dad’s usually really good at understanding us, but this time he just looked over at Mom with a “Why is he doing this?” look on his face. Mom knew right away. “He wants you to play ball with him,” she said. I don’t know how she knew; I mean, even I didn’t know. But she can “read” that boy. After doing the same stare and bark two nights in a row, Dad finally knew what Ri-boy wanted at the same time every night, and would get up and play ball with him.

Ella: He is a good looking dog, isn’t he? I wish he liked me, but he was pretty hateful to me the only time I’ve been around him. I really don’t understand it. I like everyone and everyone likes me! We could have made pretty puppies when we were younger… *sigh* But what about his ear infection?

Lucy: Oh yeah. Mom picked him up from Andrew’s and took him to the vet. They came to the car and got him and took a little of the gunk out of his ears to do a culture.
Oh, and me and Xena went too, and gave blood for our twice-yearly DNA HW test, which came back negative. In this case, negative was a good thing.
Anyhow, about a week later, the new vet – who never met Riley – called and said he has two types of staph in his ears, and they would work him in to treat it. She said it would be fast and easy to clean out his ears and put in the medicine. I could see Mom covering her mouth and her whole body shaking. I was afraid she was having a seizure, but turns out she was trying not to laugh. Finally, she told the new vet that four grown men can’t hold him to clean his ears or cut his nails. But he trusts his dad Andrew to clean his ears, so she promised that he would do that before she brought him. At the vet’s, the vet techs put the medicine in his ears while he was still in the car. He wore a “just in case” muzzle, but he was surprisingly good. Now we’re waiting to see if it works.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen…

Xena: Hey ‘killies, when’d you join the gang?
Achilles: I don’t know what you mean.

Xena: We’re both “in the hood!” BOLOLOL!!
‘Killies: *groan*

Lucy, Ella, Achilles and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess

Ella and Achilles on Vacation: Day 2

Achilles: So, Lucy, to continue with telling you about the stuff I have to put up with at home… that pig! After all this time, he hasn’t even learned our language. He goes around grunting at us and using body language that me and Ella can’t understand. I used to try to stay out of Morty’s way, but it gets so tiring.

Lucy: But what does he do? And what do you do, my darling?

Here, let me show you Morty’s latest travesty.

I was sleeping peacefully on the couch when he jumped up, laid down next to me, and threw his back leg right across my nose, in front of my eyes. Aghh! I guess it could have been worse…

Lucy: What did you do, dear? Did you bite him?

Achilles: No, no, no. I might look big and intimidating, but you should know I would never hurt a fly. Well, maybe a fly. But I’m a pacifist, like you. Sometimes I get a bit worked up when I see other boy dogs, but I try to keep it under control. Anyhoo, here’s what I did.

Achilles: Enough about me. What have you been doing, beautiful?

Lucy: Hmmm. Mom’s been extra busy grooming during this COVID thingy. I’ve been working tirelessly helping her.

Sometimes I catch the hair so she doesn’t have to sweep it up. And when the pup on the table is nervous, sometime this makes them laugh!

We’ve been getting quite a few new and “haven’t been here for a long time” dogs in to be groomed. The last one was a tiny Yorkie puppy. Dog, was he a handful. Literally.

Finally, Mom agreed to let him lay in her lap while she worked on him.

Mom must have taken her patience pill that day. She said that Chief is only about three months old, and this is his first groom. First grooms are hard on everyone, so she tries to make sure the pup doesn’t get scared.

Achilles: How did it end? Did Chief survive? I’ve never been groomed, or even watched a groom.

Lucy: Like you showed me pictures to explain things, I’ll do the same for you. Here’s how it all ended.

Achilles: What happened to the table in the “after?” Did Chief get so light from losing all that hair that he floated?

Lucy: BOL! Mom just played with the picture so that Chief was the sole focus, BOL!
Give me another kiss and then let’s go see what Ella’s doing and if my Mom’s fixing us anything for lunch.

To be continued…

They’re Here!

Priscilla, you know you can’t push me out of this chair, right?

Priscilla: I don’t know until I try.

They’re coming, I just don’t know when. It’s daylight. I thought they would have been here by now. What’s taking them so long? You can keep scratching there, Prissy, that feels good.

They’re here! Let’s go welcome our best friends!

Happy Fourth of July, Achilles! *wag, wag, wag*

Hi Lucy! You look as beautiful as in my dreams, girlfriend. Hey, do you like my new camo outfilt? I wear it when I’m itchy. Do you think I look silly?

Lucy: *swooning* You look like Rambo. He’s this tough, sexy guy on TV. Only you’re much more handsome.

Does it look good from this angle, too?

Ella: Come on Lucy, let’s go play a little. I can’t play too hard, though. I’m mostly better, but I’m still recovering from surgery. I almost died, you know.

Lucy: No!! Don’t even say that. Let’s go hang out. Are you coming, Achilles?

Achilles: What do I smell on the counter? It smells sweet.

Lucy: Oh, it’s just the 4th of July cake Mom made. She doesn’t share cake with us, but you might get some fruit later. Let’s go outside with everyone.

Achilles: Hmm. I think it’s too hot out.

I’ll just lay down here near the cake on the cool floor. You girls go on.

Xena: Where’s Achilles? I don’t trust him.

To be continued…

Lucy, Ella, Achilles and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess

Independence Day USA by Lucy

I have to make this kinda’ quick, cause I just found out my bestie, Ella, and my guy, Achilles are on their way. They are visiting me for a week while their folks go somewhere else. Ella was real sick a couple of weeks back, and ended up having surgery and on heavy antibiotics. It had something to do with her gut. I am so happy she’s ok and able to make the three hour trip!

Now, to do my 4th of July post…

For those who aren’t from here: On July 4th, the Continental Congress formally adopted the Declaration of Independence, which had been written largely by Thomas Jefferson. Though the vote for actual independence took place on July 2nd, from then on the 4th became the day that was celebrated as the birth of American independence.

Today, in honor of all the men and women who helped make us a free nation, I told Mom I wanted to post my video from two years ago. As a repost, we didn’t know how to delete the comments from then, so please feel free to just add some woofs, meows and howdys to them!!

Starring Lucy
Directed, Edited and Produced by My Dad

In Pursuit of Flavors Summer Edition

After saying a prayer of thanks that all the ideas that Tyebe and Shoko of The Canadian Cats and Da Phenny, Neilson and Katty of Easyblog  threw out – such as beer can chicken and squirty whip cream – really did get thrown out, we had to sit down and think up what we like to eat in the summer. Me and Xexe immediately agreed on the frozen treats Mom made for Xe’s birthday. That recipe is at the end, so that you will remember it best. Mom finally decided on the cold soup she’s been making this summer. She likes it and Dad asks for it a lot. Besides the taste, one of the things Mom likes about it is how quick and easy it is to make. So here we go…

Chilled Lemon Basil Avocado Soup 

Ingredients:
2 ripe avocados, peeled and roughly chopped
1 C coconut milk
1 C vegetable broth
about 1 tsp of fresh lemon zest (original recipe called for 1 Tbsp, but I thought too lemony, so adjust if you just love lemon flavor)
1 Tbsp lemon juice (adjust to taste)
1 Tbsp white wine vinegar
1 Tbsp lemon or regular basil
2 tsp minced shallots (can substitute leeks or onion if you don’t have shallots)
1 tsp kosher salt (adjust to taste)

Instructions:
Add all ingredients to a blender and puree until very smooth. Refrigerate for at least 2 hours to let the flavors blend. Best when made the day before. NOTE: The soup will taste very mild when first blended, so wait before adjusting seasonings. It will end up about this color, or a little darker.

It’s our turn now. Here’s the recipe for

Frozen Banana-Almond Butter (or Peanut Butter)-Cocomut Oil Dog Treats

1 C softened or melted coconut oil
1 C almond or peanut butter
1 medium very ripe banana (sorta’ ripe is ok too)

Dump everything in a bowl and use an electric mixer to get it all mixed together good. Scoop it into an ice cube tray. Makes about 1 1/2 dozen.

Notes: We get almond butter because it’s a lot healthier than peanut butter. Mom had to use a butter knife to loosen the edges to get each cube out. You might want to spray some olive oil in the tray compartments first.
Also, the recipe called for filling a plastic baggie with the mixture, snipping the end, and squeezing it into a fancier mold than an ice cube tray. Really? We don’t care what they look like, just give us more! Oh, and they come out about this color.

It’s time to come inside, Xe. Mom’s made our favorite summer treats, and they’re ready!

Lucy and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess

Xena’s Story: More Adventures in Tyeland with a Peanut Surprise

“You two can stay out of the jungle for awhile.  Enough with the hairy visits from reptiles,” scolded Sho.

Tye looked skyward and then at Sho saying, ” We were just goofing around, Sho.” 

“Yes,” said Sho with a smile in her voice. “I know you were just having fun.”

“Now we have to get the magic carpet ready for the trip to Canada, Xe and Tye, so let’s pad on down to Aladdin’s Magic Carpets and talk with Gene the Genie about the thruster problem.”

“Sho, look at the new models of Magic Carpets!!” Tye’s blue eyes were wide as dinner plates as she spoke.

“Tye get off that beautiful swirled carpet!  Act civilized, you’re not in the jungle now,” Sho said with a smile. 

“Look at all the room for my friends, and it’s got my favorite colors! Hey Gene, our thrusters don’t work and they are making sounds like *ouff, puff….poooo-diddle…plop!!* just before they quit.  Can you fix them?” asked Tye as she bounced off the new Magic Carpet.
“Not the plop sound too!” Gene said with dismay.
“Yep, and now they won’t work at all,” answered Sho.
“My brother specializes in thrusters, let’s ask him. Gen come look at these thrusters.”

Gen leaped aboard the magic carpet. He listened, then twirled the tassels and spun the rug around twice. Out popped peanuts!  Gen hollered “up, up” and the magic carpet purred to life, rising slowly.   

“So your problem seems  to have been  a bunch of peanuts stuck in the thruster mechanism,” he explained. “There are a lot of peanuts here. A few wouldn’t bother the thrusters, but great gobs of peanuts slowly worked into them sure will.  The peanuts could have been there for months until they worked down into the chamber.” 

PEANUTS!! This was the work of Squash, Squish’s little sister. Sho knew Squish would be horrified if she was aware that Squash was sticking anything in the thrusters, so she decided not to tell Squish.

Sho asked Gene and Gen to check over the invisibility cloak and tune up CADA ( Canadian Activated Device Assistant) because the next trip would be to Canada, the country.   “We’ll need first rate advice so Cada should be on her toes, so to speak.”
“We’ll get right at it,” the muscle bound Gen stated. “Where in Canada are you heading, the east or the west?”     

Sho got this happy distant look on her face and purred, “West, across the Pacific Ocean this time.”
“Good choice furry face,” said Gen. “British Columbia is what they call that province.  There are many forests throughout BC.”

  Sho and Tye’s eyes lit up as they imagined a jungle of trees.

Meanwhile, Xe and Tye were taking turns pretending to fly the new round carpet.  Xe stated she had to have a Magic Carpet all her own.  “I want to get an updated model with all the bells and whistles.” 

Xe was imagining herself flying around, visiting sights.  She remembered Paris from when her Mommy took her as a puppy.

“Gene says it will take them a day or so to get all the extras updated and checked for a long flight,” said Sho with a sigh of resignation. “So, if you can tear yourselves away from that new carpet, lets go home and talk with Squish about renting out the house while we’re gone.”

Reaching the hut Canada, Sho put the bag of peanuts from the thruster on the backyard table. Tye leaped into her usual seat, followed by Sho. 

“Xe, where’d you go? There’s something I need to tell you both,” said Sho.

“I went out front to play ball with King the Cobra. He plays so good, I told him he could be a ‘ball python,'” quipped Xe. “Hi everyone,” said King with difficulty. It’s hard to talk with your mouth full of ball.

Sho and Tye laughed so hard they fell off their seats into the sand. While they wiped themselves off – and helped King get his fangs out of the ball – Sho told them all about the peanuts and swore them to secrecy.  Xe, Tye and King agreed to say nothing to Squish. The four friends sat and enjoyed some banana sundaes from the fresh banana trees close to the backyard.            

“Here come Squish and Squash….remember, not a word or you’ll upset Squish and when she’s upset the earth shakes,” warned Sho. 

Squish noticed the bag of peanuts right away and asked Sho why she had them cause Siamese hate nuts. 

“I found them,” Sho stated as she pushed the peanuts at Squish.  

Squish said she didn’t like peanuts but Squash – who had stashed them all over their house – was so happy to see more.

“Can I please have these Sho?” Squash asked.  Young Squash was very polite, as Squish wouldn’t put up with a rude elephant for a sister.  For a chuckle, Squish asked little Squash if the peanuts were hers.  Squash asked where they were found and Sho, who couldn’t lie, said,” Oh they were found in the Thruster Chamber.”  Squash turned a darker shade of grey, ran to the edge of the property, and hid her face – or so she thought.       

“I’m so embarrassed sis….I hid them in the chamber so I could keep more nuts.  I just love ’em!” cried out Squash. 

“You know that the peanuts could have caused the magic carpet to jack knife and dump the occupants out,” Squish said with a soft voice. Squish could see that Squash was indeed sorry and decided to let her little sister be.  Squish and Squash hugged and Squash ran over to hear about the new Magic Carpet Tye and Xe were conspiring, er, hoping to get.

Story by Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess and Friends Tyebe and Shoko

Nature Friday: Xena’s Birthday Walk

We are joining Arty, Jakey and Rosy of the LLB Gang for Nature Friday, and thank them for hosting it.

If you missed it, my birthday was on Sunday. You can still send Happy’s and treats if you want. I won’t be upset that they’re late. *woof*

Early in the afternoon on Sunday Mommy drove me to a new-to-us park that we’d heard about that is only a mile away from our house. When we got there, the only road we could find into the tiny park was closed off at both ends. There were about seven people in the pool, and a sign that said road was closed when the pool was open. What the friggin heck? Sorry, I’m starting to pick up some bad habits like swearing now that I’m three years old. That’s legal age in dog years, you know. Speaking of which, Mommy got an adult beverage yesterday and I almost knocked it over trying to drink some and it splashed out onto the table, and Mommy made me get off her lap. What the heck? I’m adult legal now! *sigh* After she cleaned it all up, I got a belly rub instead, and that was good.

So anyhow, since we couldn’t get into this micro-park, we went on down to the greenway where the dog-park-that-we-don’t-go-to is and where there is a very long dog-on-leash walking trail. Mommy said we could go as fast or as slow as I wanted and I could stop to sniff whenever I wanted cause it was my birthday! First I went in the nice green grass on the other side of this building and bridge, and Mommy said, “Uh, Xexe, you missed the trail. Would you like to go over there so we can take a longer walk?”

Wasn’t that nice she gave me a choice? I think being given a choice shows that Mommy thinks I’m grown up now, even if she won’t let me have an adult drink. So I said yes, let’s see what’s on the other side of the bridge.

At first we walked down a gravel path, which soon became just dirt. We reached this fork in the road.

Mommy told me about a Mr. Frost writing a poem about a road that was less traveled and did I want to take that one. I thought about it and decided there must be a good reason it’s less traveled, like maybe there are lions or snakes or monsters or crocodiles down there, so I said no, let’s go down the wide path.

Soon we came to a meadow that was off to the side of the wide dirt path. I took my time and sniffed the grass and the clover.

They were the only flowers we saw on this trip, so if you were expecting flowers, sorry.

Pretty soon we came into a sunnier area with a lot of big rocks. Rocks are nature too, right? More sniffing to do. I think maybe a giant had broken a boulder over his knee and this was what was left of it.

I stopped again to sniff along the edge of the trail where there were some green plants until I heard the warning, “No, there’s poison ivy in there!” So I backed away and continued on the path. Poison ivy is nature we don’t want to experience! We passed several other walkers and joggers and some people, too, and I didn’t bark at anyone!

Next, we saw some slimy, muddy water. Guess what I did!

I know you think I went in it, BOL, but nope, I was a good girl and behaved like I was three years old. This is icky nature.

Soon we came almost to the light at the end of the (tree) tunnel.

I was busy inspecting these big tree roots when Mommy suggested we turn around and go home. I didn’t want to until she said she had a cold treat surprise waiting for me. We couldn’t make cold treat surprises wait on a hot day, could we?!

Maybe we’ll come back soon with Daddy and Lucy and try the road less traveled.

Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess who is legal age

Grooming with Mom: Sandy

Hello friends. Lucy Ace Reporter back with you on the Groom Beat

Today I am featuring a little shih tzu mix named Sandy. She was here once before, back in February. She’s barely a year old, and a wiggly pup. Here is Sandy “before.”

Her Mom tried to stay, and had to keep holding Sandy so Groomer Mom could work on her. But even then, it just wasn’t happening, as they say. Groomer Mom finally told Sandy’s Mom she would have to leave, that it was impossible to groom her like that. And guess what happened the minute her Mom walked out the door. Yep. She settled down and was finished in no time.

At first, her Mom just wanted her bangs trimmed and her nails cut. Then Groomer Mom asked if she wanted Sandy’s ears trimmed, and she did. Then Groomer Mom asked if it was OK to trim her face, and it was. Then Sandy’s Mom said just go ahead and groom her like you did before. So Sandy got a bath and a scissor cut all over. She wasn’t quite done when this picture was taken.

Groomer Mom decided to take more hair off her head after she saw this picture, BOL. But by then Sandy’s Mom was back in the room and it was too hard to try to get another picture. So you can use your imagination.

Sandy Update: I forgot to hit “Send” or “Post” or whatever it is I’m supposed to touch with my paw, so it’s now 3 weeks later. But that’s OK, ’cause I have an update. Sandy’s ears have been in really bad shape with an infection for several months. Mom was the first to notice back in February, and she told Sandy’s Mom, who took her to the dogtor. The dogtor tried a bunch of stuff, and none of it worked. They finally did a catture, or a court order or maybe it was a cult lure, I’m not sure, but they found out she has a resistant strain of a staff infection. So Sandy came back today for a good bath and nail trim since she can’t get her ears wet for a while after she gets her treatment at the dogtor’s a bit later today. Her boy came with her. The mom kept saying what a beautiful dog I am, and so sweet, too! Mom told her I am her zen dog. The groom room got too crowded with us all in there, so the boy had to wait in the hallway just outside the groom room door. I didn’t want him to be scared or lonely, so I kept him company.

I wouldn’t mind adding this to my job description.

Lucy Ace Reporter signing off with wiggles and tail wags and lots of pets from a little boy.

Xena’s Third Birthday

We all wish you a very happy birthday!

Hey! That’s Achilles, top left, giving me a kiss. And that’s Ella top right. There’s my beary best friends, and my Auntie Jen loving on me.

There’s that crazy Ludwig and of course my own sister, Lucy.

OMD! Here’s more happy birthday wishers. That’s my peeps bro Adam holding me in the car. And Riley — he’s even smiling at me!

Look! Angel Lexi came to wish me a happy birthday, too! Hey, isn’t that my otto man she’s laying on?

Here’s some highlights of my past year as a 2-year-old.

In spite of that bad old Mr. Covid, I’ve had a great year. Now, let me show you what I got for my birthday.

I see it. It’s in Mom’s hand…

Lucy got one too (so she wouldn’t try to take mine).

Here’s a short video of me enjoying my cow hoof. By now, my beard was a wreck. But it is all worth the inevitable face wash.

While Lucy and Daddy went in the bedroom to take a nap, me and Mommy went to the “greenway” and took a nice long walk. Well, long compared to the neighborhood walk, anyway. We’re going to save showing you most of that for Nature Friday with LLB & the Gang. Here’s a peek.

Mommy thought I look hot, so she added some butterflies to flap their wings and cool me off, BOL!

When we got back, I threw my cow hoof around a lot, but nobody woke up. So I asked Mommy if there were any more surprises, and she pulled this ice tray out of the freezer. She made me frozen treats, with coconut oil and almond butter, and I don’t even know what else.

Before I go take my nap, I wanted to let y’all know I did get a whole case of XKaliber for my birthday. Doesn’t it sound like a good food for a Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess?

If all birthdays are like this, I can’t wait to turn four.

My Last Day of Being Two

Well, it turns out that I didn’t get to go anywhere with Mommy today. She left early with a cooler packed with ice bricks, and I saw Daddy packing her lunch. She said bye to me and Lucy and that she would be back, like she always does, just in case we think she is leaving for good.

Me and Lucy and Chippie played for a while until Daddy came upstairs from his basement office and asked what was going on.

By then, we all were worn out. Does that mean I’m getting old?

After we got kefirred at noon (that’s what it’s called when we get served our kefir at lunchtime), we went out on our new porch so we could hang out while we waited for Mommy to come home.

Me and Lucy played chase across the porch, not even slowing for the doggie door. We made a full circle of the yard before we slipped through the door again and onto the porch. I turned and ran back out before realizing that Luce the Deuce, er, Lucy wasn’t chasing me anymore. When I stuck my head in to peek, I realized it was a trap! Just look at Lucy’s tail! She was ready to spring on me! I turned and ran and off we went. We played so hard that once again we fell down exhausted.

87 hours later Mommy got home, and all she carried upstairs from the car was some groceries from Trader Joe’s. With my most excellent ears, I heard her ask Daddy to unload the rest into the downstairs freezer.

“I’m dreaming of a tripe birthday,
Not like the ones I’ve had before.
Where the innards glisten
And Lucy listens
To hear if we might be getting more…”

This is Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess, one day away from 3 years old, with this stupid, revised Christmas song stuck in my head.

Xena’s Birthday Weekend

Xena: Since it’s almost my birthday, can I lay in your Porch Bed, Lucy?

Lucy: You mean the Bed Formerly Known as Riley’s? Sure. I’m good right where I am.

Xena: Did you hear what Mommy was saying earlier about my birthday? She was talking about getting me a special treat and yummy food. She didn’t know I was cooling off behind her chair and could hear every word she said.

Me cooling off behind Mommy’s chair

Lucy: I heard some of it, but I was under the table dozing. I don’t think she saw me, either.

Xena: I also got to see what she had up on her ‘puter screen. Look at this!

(Click on picture for link to site.)

Xena: Then I heard her on the phone with someone saying she wanted the Tripe-stuffed cow hoof and two packs of the plain cow hooves and a case of the XKaliber mix like I used to eat growing up and would you be able to eat it too and I don’t know what the person answered her. Aaaand, she said she wanted to take me with her almost to Atlanta to pick it all up.

She asked if I could eat it, too?!?

Lucy: You know, Xena, you could always ask Mom about it. Even if that ruins her surprise for you, I know you won’t let it go until you find out. Here she comes now.

Xena: Mommy, are we going to Atlanta to get my birthday surprise?

The Mom: No. (We’re actually going to Marietta, north of Atlanta, but I’m not telling her that.)

This is Xena the almost birthday girl, wondering if I should get my ears checked. I was sure I heard her say… *sigh*

Grooming with Mom: Daisy

Lucy, Ace Reporter here, with another episode of Grooming with Mom. Today I am featuring Daisy, a furry mixed breed that we think has some kind of herding dog in…

Xena: The first person to correctly identify her breed wins a …

Lucy: Xena! Get out of my post! And no one is winning anything! How many times do I have to tell you…

Xena: Phthhh.

Lucy: Folks, I can’t apologize enough for my little sister. She gets something in her head… Anyhoo, Daisy lives with the board president of the synagogue where Mom works. He’s the third member of B’nai Zion to drive a half hour or more to bring his pup for Mom to groom. You’ve already met Aoife and Bailey. Daisy is another really sweet, loving girl. She gave Mom hugs, just like Aoife does! Here is Daisy before her groom.

Help! I can barely see and hear!

Daisy’s hair completely covered her eyes, and her ears were full of hair. I’m so glad I don’t need to have hair pulled out of my ears! Her Dad told Mom to go ahead and just shave her down. Mom almost did what he said. Here’s her after picture.

Daisy was so happy that she kept trying to give Mom more hugs. I think we’ll call this the “Big Headed Daisy” picture.

Here’s another one, still looking like she has a big head, but at least you can see her a bit better.

Her Dad said they only get her groomed every 4 to 6 months. Mom’s going to talk to him about that…

Lucy, Ace Reporter, signing off. Hope y’all are having a ding-doggidy-daisy kind of day.

Our New Porch

Way, way back at the end of March, work began on our patio. Mom said, “It better be done before Memorial Day, ha, ha, ha.” With a few veiled threats from Mom, i.e. “I’m not paying you any more money until this is done, ha, ha,” it got done the Friday before Memorial Day weekend. Dad says it’s not a patio anymore; he says it’s a “porch.”

Dad bought paving stones made out of river rock. You can see in one of the pictures how he arranged them outside the door that doesn’t go into the dog lot. Mom put in the edging, and they are going to get some pebbles or something to fill in the rest of that area.

Did you notice the “sunroof?” It lets in lots of light, and even the living room has more daylight because of it.

Did you notice the aloe plant on the little table. We want to say a huge “thanks” and a few *licks* to our reader who suggested that to heal up the hot spot under my (Xena’s) ear. It worked like magic!

Right away, Mom taught us how to go through the new doggie door. We have gotten very good at it. At first I would get whacked with it when Lucy went first, but then I learned to time it just right.

Mom couldn’t mow the grass in the dog lot the whole time the guys were working on the new porch. It got so high that we played “jungle” in it and sometimes munched on the tall stocks of grass. And there’s areas where the weeds that passed for grass died because of stuff laying on them during the construction. We saw some grass seed last time we went in the shed, so we’re sure Mom will spread some around soon. We heard the mower running tonight. No more fun in the jungle, but we’ll still have lots of fun sunbathing and hunting snakes and lizards.

We are Lucy and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess

Riley, Bed Stealing and a GiftR

iley: I’ve been feeling better about being here with Lucy (and Xena). Although I still miss my Dad, I know he’ll come back for me and I might as well enjoy my time here. Right? I’ve started eating more – I really love that sauerkraut and coconut oil that Miss Amy mixes into my food – and I’ve had more energy. Lucy and I run in the big front yard while little Xena runs after us and jumps and barks and growls at me. I finally figured out she’s not trying to be mean or “take me on” but its’ her way of playing. I ignore her, as she usually just bounces off of me. In this video, me and Lucy played kinda rough, so Miss Amy kept Xena away.

Every evening between 7:00 and 8:00 I start barking at Mr. Jeff. Miss Amy always knows what I want, so at first she had to cue him, “Riley wants you to throw his ball.” Now he knows, and we play ball in the house – down the hallway and into the bedroom or the library or the living room. It’s nice to have a guy like my Dad who will play ball with me.

My bed got moved into the living room so I have somewhere other than the hard floor to lay when the family is together in the evening.

As everyone was getting ready to go to bed the other night, Miss Amy noticed that I had stretched out so that my head was hanging off my bed. She knows that I still chew up things – at least stuffies – so she went through the house looking for something she “didn’t care about”. Then she remembered the brown blanket that I had chewed big holes in years ago. She retrieved it from the closet and laid it all bunched up under my head like a pillow. I slept especially good that night.

The next day, when I got up to eat breakfast, that crazy schnauzer ran and jumped into my bed.

She and Lucy eat a lot earlier than I do, so her beard was all spiky-wild from her food. Then she acted like she had to guard my bed so I wouldn’t try to get back in it. Silly schnauzer! I spent the rest of the day in her favorite red chair. That one kinda back-fired on her, didn’t it?

The Mom: I don’t like to wear shoes in the house unless my feet are cold so I often slip them off when I sit down. One particular day, I found a present in one of my sandals.

I don’t know who left it there, but it warmed my heart.

It might have been me. Or Xena. Or Riley. We all love Mom.

Epilogue: Andrew picked up Riley and took him home with him. Riley may be coming back…or he may not. Either way, Lucy and I love having him here. And, I suspect, even the crazy little schnauzer does, even though she would never admit it.

By Riley, Lucy, the Mom and the Crazy Little Schnauzer Warrior Princess

Xena’s Story: A Recap and A Cobra Named King

Lucy: Xena, I think it might be a good idea to give a quick recap on what’s happened so far in your stories. Not all our readers saw the earlier ones, and that would help a lot.

Xena: Why don’t they just read them? *pout* Oh, OK. But if you have been keeping up, and your memory is good, just scroll down to the first picture to take up where we left off last week. Or go here to read them all from beginning to end.

So, for those of you who missed the earlier editions, or just don’t remember, the first section is simply called Xena’s Story.

Xe the schnauzer took a boat trip to Siam and met the Siamese cats, Sho and Tye. They all quickly became besties, and had a lot of adventures before Xe had to go home. (Click here.)

Tye missed Xe, who had become like a sister to her. Tye stowed away on a boat, where she eventually made friends with the captain by catching all the mice on board and keeping them fed and happy in her cabin. After docking in Texas, USA she got thrown in a detention center, where she only had rotten vegetables to eat, but made friends with a chihuahua. After receiving a text from Tye, Xe left home to rescue her. (click here)

After taking a school bus to Texas to rescue Tye, Xe got caught inside the detention center by a plott hound, who tossed her in a bag labeled “fresh meat”. She was put in the same area as Tye. Xe had remembered to pack a soft bed, a pretty night shirt, and a mouse toy for Tye, which they used while they waited to get out. Xe applied to be Tye’s sponsor and they were finally released. (click here)

Tye and Xe had more adventures on the way back to Xe’s home in Chattanooga, Tennessee. A horse named HoNo (short for horse with no name) gave them a ride to the Tennessee border, where they were picked up by a NICE Plott Hound in her old truck. Sally drove them to the Big White House to meet with the Person in Charge. There, Tye told her tale of the interment camp and all the other Siamese cats who were being held there. The Person in Charge gave them their favorite foods and made a decree to free everyone from the camps. (click here)

In the meantime, Sho decided she had better come help Tye, so she bought a magic carpet and ended up in Newfoundland, where she met a Newfoundland Hound named Buddha. Buddha had heard about Tye’s troubles and told Sho where the detention center was in Texas. Sho flew her magic carpet there where she found HoNo. HoNo remembered the two friends, and directed Sho back up the coast to the Big White House where they were headed. (click here).

Sho finally found her sister and friend when she landed on the lawn of the Big White House. They all climbed onto the magic carpet for a ride to Xe’s home, where Lu was waiting for them. (click here)

Lu and her Dad have arranged a Zoom meeting with lots of the friends that the Xe et al made on their journeys. Siam is renamed Tyeland after Tye’s fame for freeing the Siamese cats held there. Lu informs them about the Shelter in Place edict so they cannot continue on to Canada as planned. (click here)

This next part is called Sheltering in Place. Sho and Lu, as the more mature members of the group, hit it off and spend time relaxing together and enjoying island beverages. The youngsters Tye and Xe continue to find fun ways to spend their days, including a full spa treatment and a hula lesson by Tye. (click here)

Sheltering in Place continues with Sho and Lu taking a tub soak while sipping on Coronas and the youngsters shooting the bird back and forth with old rackets they found in the attic. (click here)

The story takes another turn with Think Canada. The 3 friends decide to hop on the magic carpet and take their chances at returning to Tyeland to finish up their business there before trying to relocate to Canada. By the way, their hut in Tyeland is named Hut Canada. (click here)

Sho is tired by the time they land, so she goes inside to take a nap. Tye and Xe get bored and go off to stuff a mouse down a cobra’s throat. That doesn’t end so well. (click here)

That was what is called a synopsis in writer’s talk for all the episodes so far. The Canadian Cats did a great job of putting these all together. You can click here to go to that page on their blog, where you can begin at the beginning and read straight through. Next is a gratuitous shot of me to let you know we are starting the next story in Think Canada.

While Sho was relaxing outside of the Hut Canada, waiting on Tye and Xe, a large cobra snake slithered up to her, stopped and stared. “You’re not the cat I sssaw in the jungle, are you?” he hissed.

Not knowing what the cobra snake was up to, Sho did not let on that her little sister was in the jungle more than her. “I walk through the jungle from time to time,” she replied. “Why do you ask, snake?” inquired Sho, pronouncing the word snake as if it was a swear word.

*Hisssss*. “My name is King,” he said, not bothering to answer Sho’s question. Continuing to quiz her, he asked, “Do you have a schnauzer friend? I sssmell her. *Hiss* I’ve ssseen a schnauzer in the jungle, and I would like to *hiss* say hello.”

At this point, Tye and Xe ran out onto the porch, completely unaware that danger lurked in Tye’s own front yard. When they heard hissing, they looked out to see someone they never wanted in their front yard. They’d been found!

“We have to do something,” whispered Xe.
“One of us has to let Sho know not to tell him we’re here,” replied Tye. “I’m a bit smaller, so I guess I’ll try to sneak down there.”
Even though Xe was shaking like a rattler’s tail, she knew that this was mostly all her fault, and she couldn’t let her friend do this. “No, I’ll go,” she whispered with only a slight quaver in her voice.

Xe ran like she was in an agility trial, zip, zip, and ended up behind the bush near Sho. “Don’t tell him we’re here,” whispered Xe. “He’s mean.”

King, seeing movement, hissed, “What wasss that? Isss someone elsssse here?”

“Why don’t you rest your scales and I will go inside and make us a nice cup of mulberry tea?” suggested Sho, without ever looking over at Xe.

Before anyone could turn back towards Hut Canada, Tye leaped off the other side of the porch and ran full out into town, looking for Squish, their elephant friend. It’s rumored that elephants are afraid of mice, but that snakes are afraid of elephants is known as a fact.

Tye tore through the town looking for Squish until she ran headlong into a tree, bouncing off it and landing on her back. Blinking hard, she looked up and saw it wasn’t a tree after all. It was her friend Squish’s leg.

“Why such a hurry?” inquired Squish. Tye quickly related to him what trouble they were in, and that she feared for Xe’s life. “No one hurts my friends!” trumpeted the elephant as she took off full speed toward Hut Canada.

Xe was now hunkered down behind the bush, afraid to move.

“There you are, you slimy piece of shnake!” Squish said with disdain. (shnake is a swear word in elephant-speak.) “You may be King the Cobra in the jungle, but here you’re going to be…”

“Wait, pleasssse!” pleaded King. “I know who you are, too. You’re the mighty Sssquish, who sssquishes snakes until they pop like balloonssss! Pleassse, let me go, and you and your friends will never ssssee me again.”

Squish knew that you had to be dumber than mud to believe a promise from a snake. She thought about the pedicure she had just come from when Tye found her and didn’t relish messing it up with snake guts. But she would do whatever needed done to keep her dear friends safe. Then, from the corner of her eye, she saw a mouse. And not just any mouse, but Missy, who had helped her in the past. Missy, had brought her oboe. As she began to play a mesmerizing tune, Squish sneaked around King, whispering, “King, the Snake, you will never hurt or eat a mouse or a schnauzer or a cat again. You will be kind and gentle to all you meet.”

By this time King was softly swaying back and forth in rhythm to the music. He was being charmed and was open to all suggestions made to him. “You do all these things,” the elephant continued, “and I will let you live.”

Missy stopped playing. Xe stopped shaking. Squish stopped talking. King stopped swaying. It was as if, just for a moment, they were frozen in time. Then King shook his head, looked around, and whispered, “Weren’t we all invited for tea? I do hope there’s a drop of honey. I just love honey with my tea, don’t you?”

Xe stepped out from behind the bush. King looked at her quizzically and said, “Why, what an adorable little dog. Will you be joining us for tea? I do hope so, and perhaps there will be some biscuits as well. I just love biscuits with my tea and honey, don’t you?”

Sho, absolutely shocked, still remembered her manners and hurriedly set the outside table for everyone to have tea with honey and not just one, but two plates of biscuits as well.

From that day on, King never hurt another living thing, and Squish didn’t kill him. In fact, they made up a game called, “don’t step on the snake,” which they had to play every time King came to visit. Squish and Missy often accompanied him, and Sho always made tea with honey and biscuits for everyone. (She is a very good hostess.)

The End. (Well, just the end of this part of the story.)

I am Xena, with Shoko and Tybe playing supporting roles.
Lucy: Xena, this isn’t a play. Nobody is playing any roles.
Xena: I’m getting ready for when it is turned into a Broadway play. I want to be the star, like Angel Lexi.
Lucy: *sigh*


Tuna-Egg Stuffed Tomato and a Bonus for our 4-leggers

Hosted by Shoko, Tybe and Budd of The Canadian Cats Blog and Phenny and Nelly of Easy Blog

This month the search is on for salad recipes. Ours is a bit different and super duper easy, with only a few ingredients and great for a hot day.

I get the leftover tuna juice in with my food. It’s super yummy!

Tuna-Egg Salad Stuffed Tomato

Ingredients:
A nice fresh tomato
1 can of your favorite tuna
1 hard boiled egg
about 2 Tablespoons mayonnaise, or enough to make it a little creamy
small dash of salt and pepper, to taste

Directions: Remove the stem from the tomato and use a sharp knife to slice down about 3/4 of the way from the top. Do it again as if you are quartering it. Then slice each of those quarters down one time. It should look like a flower beginning to open when you are done, but still hold together. Set on a fancy plate. You can lay some lettuce under it if you want.

Mash up the egg with a fork and mix in the tuna, spices and mayo. Put a good-sized scoop into the tomato. You’ll be able to fill more than one tomato, depending on the size of the tomato and how much filling you use in each one.

You can add a little topping such as paprika, chives, cayenne pepper, crumbled bacon, shredded cheese, or use your imagination.

Sorry we don’t have a picture of one we made ourselves, but when you’re done, your tuna-egg stuffed salad should look sorta like one of these two, that we found on the web.

I have another recipe just for our pup friends. I hope you’ll get over forgive me that it’s not a salad. Although there is tomato in it…

I think our cat friends can eat it too, but I have never looked up what cat’s can and can’t eat. You may want to stick with the tuna. *grin*

This is Lucy and Xena Schnauzer Princess Warrior, wiping drool *slurp*

Grooming with Mom: Chiefly

Lucy, Ace Reporter here to tell you about a new groom who came to us as a result of COVID-19. Our client, Angela – who has the schnauzers Sophie and Dexter – recommended us Mom when her friend asked if she knew anyone who was grooming right now.

This is Master Chief – Chiefly for short – before his groom. Mom forgot to get a picture until after she had started, so that’s why you see hair on the table.

Chiefly is a 5-year-old yorkie-poo. He definitely has the tight, curly, poodle hair. He was pretty stressed, as you can see, with his tongue hanging out.

Mom called me to come help calm him down.

Xena ran in the room first and they growled at each other. Then Chiefly growled at me. I knew it was just because he was scared, so I started sending zen thoughts his way. Mom told him that’s what I was doing, and that he should be a good boy and let me help him. He did, and I did. I helped so much that when Xena came running back in and put her front paws on the table to look at him, they touched noses and called a truce. Good boy, Chiefly!

Chiefly’s Mom, Maryanne, said to shave him from his head to the end of his tail. Mom called her to be sure she got it right, cause who gets pretty ears like that shaved, right? The conversation went sorta like this:

Mom: Hi, everything’s good, I just want to check, do you want his ears shaved.
Maryanne: Yes, shave his ears please.
Mom: You really want his tail shaved?
Maryanne: Yes.
Mom: What about his face?
Maryanne: Shave it.
Mom: Shave the whole face, short, like his body? No mustache? No beard?
Maryanne: Right. I want him to be cool for the summer
Mom: OK, bye.

Chiefly: I look pretty, don’t I?

Yes, Chiefly, you look pretty, or handsome, as the case may be.

Chiefly: Is my Mom coming now? I’m ready to go home.

You can’t see from the pictures, but Mom left a bobble of hair on the end of his tail, almost like a poodle. His Mom and sister loved it, as well as his cool summer cut.

Lucy, Ace Reporter, signing off with another success story.

Xena’s Story: Sho and Tye Think Canada Part 3

Where we left off was with a beautiful, 3-point landing of Sho’s magic carpet, right in front of the hut Canada in Tyeland, Shortly afterward, Sho drifted into a deep sleep (probably from exhaustion, although Xe drove all the way there from Tennessee, so Sho shouldn’t have been that tired). If you missed that, you can go read about it here at the Canadian Cats. As Sho lay snoring…

Tye: Are you getting bored, Xe?

Xe: Yes. We need an adventure. *thinking* Hey! Do you remember how we wanted to try stuffing a mouse down a cobra’s throat, but your big sister Sho was always around so we couldn’t do it?

Tye: Yep, and she’s sound asleep in our hut Canada now.

The friends, about to embark on an adventure, take off through the jungle, looking for a mouse and a cobra.

Tye: Hold the snake still!
Xe: I’m trying. Maybe there’s a stick or rock that could help.
Tye: No!! Don’t let it go!
Mouse: Help!! Help!! I don’t want to die!
Xe: That mouse screaming for help isn’t helping. And you went up too high in the palm.
Cobra: *gurgle* You’re choking me!
Tye: I’m hanging down as low as I can without falling.
Xe: There’s a little stick I could wedge in the snake’s mouth.
Cobra: When I get loose *gurgle* I’m gonna kill you, *gag* you stupid schnauzer.
Tye: Forget it, he’ll get you while your back is turned. On the count of 3, we both let go and run as fast as we can. One, two, run!

A short while later…

Sho: *yawn* I had a good nap. Did you two do anything interesting while I was asleep.

Xe: You mean like shove a mouse down a cobra’s throat? Woof, woof!
Tye: Yeah, or almost fall out of a palm? Meow, meow, meow.
Xe: We waited on you to take a nice walk with us.
Sho: You two are so funny. Let’s stroll down the jungle lane to see if there’s anything interesting going on. Some pretty flowers should be blooming this time of year.

Xe, whispering to Tye: Do you think the cobra’s gone? Remember, he threatened to kill me!
Tye, whispering to Xe: Maybe, but let’s wear sunglasses or hats just in case, so he doesn’t recognize us. We’ll have to keep a watchout. And “flowers” will be our code word for cobra.

Tye: Do you see any flowers?
Xe: Nope, nothing.
Sho: Look, I see a flower over here.
Tye and Xe: Eeeeek!

At that, Tye and Xe turned and ran (again) all the way back to the hut Canada.

Sho: Those two are so funny together. I’m glad they’re having a good time.

Sho never suspected that the “pretend” story of a cobra and a palm could be true, and she continues to sleep well because of it.

This concludes part 3, but stay tuned for part 4, coming to a blog near you.

Xena Schnauzer Warrior Jungle Princess