Category: Xena

Vampire Dogs

Published on by Xena, Lucy and Chia25 Comments
Angel Lexi

Angel Lexi: On All Hallow’s Eve, I am back to play tricks and get treats. So tonight, I am reclaiming my blog. That’s right, my blog! This is the night before All Saint’s Day, the day where I will be especially remembered and prayers will go up for me and a candle lit to show I am still the light of the world and star of the stage to show my spirit still shines brightly in the hearts of those who love me. So tonight I will partake of a little mischief. I would rather partake of Kahlua and cream, but there is no cream in the refrigerator. 

Lookout, Xena, here I come. You may eat raw meat every day, but I have not yet had my fill of blood. Eating kibble all my life has left me very, very thirsty. (in best Bela Lugosi voice) I come to suck your…oh forget it, that’s just too corny, even for me. Now, where was I? Tonight, Xena, you become like me!

Xena: You mean I am going to become an Angel?

Angel Lexi: No! You will be a Vampire Dog!

Xena: Aghhhh! Help!

Angel Lexi: There is no help for you. You will crave blood, fresh blood. Now go get some blood! (And bring me all the meat from the fridge.)

Now YOU will be a vampire, too, Mommy, with me and Angel Lexi

Xena: Oh, Mo-o-ommy… hold me, Mommy, hold me close bawahaha

Happy Halloween! Be sure to visit Dash Kitten, Barking from the Bayou, and Bionic Basil  for more spooky tails.

Vampire Dogs Angel Lexi the Schnauzer and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess Dash

Happy Simchat Torah

Published on by Xena, Lucy and Chia22 Comments

Our Mom is home today because it is a Jewish holiday and the office is closed.

Happy Simchat Torah, everyone!

Xena: What’s Simchat Torah?

Riley: We don’t know, your Mom just told us to say it. Did you get that guttural c h sound right? Keep looking at the camera – we haven’t gotten our posing payment yet.

Xena: What’s gutteral?

Riley: Just pretend like you’re trying to dislodge a piece of food from your throat. If you can’t do that, then just say happy Shemini Atzeret .

Xena: Oh, Mom, Mom, Mom. I think Riley just swore.

We are joining our friends at  Comedy Plus for the Happy Tuesday Blog Hop this week!

Dance Rehearsal

Published on by Xena, Lucy and Chia33 Comments

I’m getting ready for my first Freestyle competition. We’ve tweaked our routine and I’ve got my part down. I am having sooo much fun! Mommy is going to take me to work with her in a few weeks and we are going to leave in the middle of the day to drive to Winston-Salem, North Carolina. *bounce bounce bounce* I’m going to get something called a title. I already have the title of Princess Warrior. I wonder what my new one will be. Anyhoo, here is the newest version of our dance!

Xena Schnauzer Dancing Warrior Princess

Xena Does Rocktoberfest

Published on by Xena, Lucy and Chia33 Comments

Can you believe that I got stuck in my kennel all day on Saturday while Mom and Dad took Lucy somewhere. The only place I could think of was that they took her to the vet. I was mad about being left at home, but I hope she’s ok. She was too worn out when she got home to tell me anything.

My peeps must have felt bad about leaving me home cause they took me up the mountain today to Rock City’s Rocktoberfest.

Daddy needed to warm up his dancing, so he (sorta) asked me to dance with him.

There was more fun stuff and other stuff that was kinda scary. Mr Rocky was in the pavilion dancing, and then he ran over to the bench where I was sitting with my Daddy and grabbed a tam grrr eeen.

He terrorized me with it! Daddy said Rocky was just having fun and entertaining everyone, but it sure made a lot of noise.

Mommy took me walking along the trails. The temperature was real nice, what Mommy calls “sweater weather.”

This little gnome was watching to be sure everyone stayed on the trail, like the sign said. I told him I was sorry, but I had to go off-trail for a quick potty break. He was nice about it and didn’t chase me away.

Next, Mommy took me exploring. We went into the mountain. I remember doing this last year, and I survived it, so I screwed up my courage and off we went.

This strange-looking guy was behind these bars, but he looked pretty happy. He had a big jug of something and a giant mushroom. Mmmm, mushroom.

A little further down was this old man and woman sleeping in their bed, and they were also behind bars.

I wonder if they are dangerous, or being punished for something, or maybe it’s just like my kennel, to keep them safe. I wonder if they get a food puzzle when they get stuck in their kennel.

Before I knew it, things got really dark.

I could hardly see going down the stone stairs or around corners, and I’m a lot closer to the ground than most peeps.

Soon, everything got weird, kinda psychedelic.

Maybe I shouldn’t have tried that munchroom, er mushroom, the fellow behind the bars offered me.

When we finally got out of the mountain, a woman was standing as still as a statue, with a bird sitting in her hand.

She welcomed us back from Sheol and made the munchroom effects go away.

We finally got back to the pavilion where there was food and beer.

Daddy had bought a new mug, so Mommy got it filled with beer and she got a beer cheese bowl to eat. While she was eating, Daddy held me in front of the pavilion and people asked if they could pet me and take my picture. I would have rather sat and ate with Mommy, but no one asked me what I wanted. I sure hope I get to go back (and get some cheese and beer)!

Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess at Rocktoberfest 2019!

Pick the Right One

Published on by Xena, Lucy and Chia22 Comments

Xena: Mommy took a picture of me and Jen Jen Bear and played with it on PicMonkey.

Which one do you like best? Really. Which one? If you get the right answer, you win an all-expense paid vacation to…

Lucy: Xena! Stop it! You can’t give a vacation away. You don’t have money to pay for it, and Mom would have a fit. Where did you get such a lame-brain idea, anyhow?

Xena: They do it all the time on TV. I didn’t know I would need money. I just thought it would be fun.

Xena: Hey! Where’d the picture of that pig Morty come from? Don’t anyone vote for that one or you won’t win!

Lucy: (Te, he, he.)

Pillows

Published on by Xena, Lucy and Chia28 Comments

I like pillows. A lot. I try out lots of different pillows, for lots of different purposes and in lots of different positions.

Last Christmas Mom dressed the pillow I like on the couch in a holiday dress. She didn’t fool me, though; I knew it was my big, comfy pillow.

Sometimes I hide different parts of me under or behind a pillow. I didn’t want anyone to see me wearing my big girl panties.

I’m a schnauzer sandwich.

Sometimes I try new positions on my pillows.

I fell asleep like this.

Sometimes I hide so no one knows where I am. I can watch what they are doing like this, with no one seeing me.

Mommy got me a fancy new pillow, and after the first night, I didn’t want to use it any more.

Once in a while I would carry it out of the bedroom and leave it somewhere else in the house. Then, one night, I changed my mind. I thought about it a while and got it just right.

Xena, Pillow Connoisseur and Schnauzer Warrior Princess

Birthday Trip to Nashville by Lucy

Published on by Xena, Lucy and Chia32 Comments

When last we met, we were on our way to visit our Uncle Bill and Aunty Jen and our cousins, Ella and Achilles and piggy Morty. Even with her Thundershirt on, Xena panted and shook like a freight train the entire three hour drive. For a short time she fell asleep and we had some peace.

Ella and I picked up right where we left off as BFF’s. When she first saw me jump out of the car and run to the gate she growled and I stopped. Then she apologized and said she was just out of her mind excited that I was there!

I love you, Lucy, you’re my bestest friend in the whole world.

I dared Ella to try to curl her tongue like I did. She sure did try! She even threw her head back to get her tongue to curl better.

Shortly after we arrived Achilles got stuck in his kennel, Morty got stuck in the bathroom, and everyone left us to our own devices. (I heard that somewhere and have been waiting for a chance to use it.) The peeps took Mom out for another birthday dinner. Well, it was actually a lunch, so I guess that’s one of each. They went somewhere that there was an antique car show with really old cars parked up and down the road, their hoods up and doors open. They ate at an Italian restaurant, where Mom got the lasagna that was dripping with hot, gooey cheese. (Please excuse me while I wipe the drool from my mouth.) They got home early afternoon, and then the fun for us began.

Achilles wanted me to watch him play with his ball. He loves to run and play with balls.

We had all been wandering over to where Morty was chomping on the grass because he is such a curiosity to us. Achilles even offered him his ball, but Morty wasn’t interested.

Us woofers ran and played together in the big back yard. Morty and Xena oinked and woofed at each other occasionally, but no blood was shed.

Later that night all the peeps went dancing. They went to National Ballroom and Co., owned by David Hamilton, worldwide ballroom dance champion. Mom was hoping to get to dance with David, but he wasn’t there. She and Dad had even taken a lesson from him once when he was in Chattanooga. Mom gave Uncle Bill a refresher course in rumba.

“…side together forward, side together back…”

Him and Aunty Jen, they danced all the rumbas and the ones Mom calls “belly rubbers.” The rest of the time they enjoyed watching everyone else dance. They took this picture of Mom and Dad swing dancing, but the lighting wasn’t very good.

Before we left the next day I got on the couch and saw Morty on Aunty Jen’s lap, with his little snout sticking out of the covers.

I tried to do a nose touch to say, “Let’s be friends,” but he tried to bite my nose. I guess he didn’t want to be friends. Aunty Jen explained that I don’t speak pig latin and he doesn’t speak dog sign language. So I guess it was just a miscommunication. In any case, I won’t be trying that again.

Tomorrow, Xena will tell you more about our visit. I tried to tell Mom that no more needed to be told, but she just laughed and shook her head.

Wiggles and licks, Lucy

Special Days

Published on by Xena, Lucy and Chia26 Comments

Lucy: gorgeous green

Xena: powerful purple

Our Mom had a birthday and our Dad made a big deal about it.

He made her his special chicken dish and pasta and fresh broccoli. We didn’t beg at the table; we just wanted to stay close to Mom on her birthday. Honest.

Our Aunty Jen and Uncle Bill are crazy lots of fun. They sent her this happy birthday message.

https://videopress.com/v/RawJpvGa?controls=false&preloadContent=metadata

Later in the week Mom’s friends at work had a little party for her and someone named Lester who had a birthday the same week. They sang happy birthday to her and Lester and had special sweets.

You might know that Mommy works at a place called a synagogue. I don’t like it cause I’m not allowed to go to work with her like I did at the Methodist church. But Mommy seems to like it anyhow, which I totally don’t understand. So, what I wanted to tell you, is their big sanctuary had been closed down for a long time, and finally got repaired. They had a big party to celebrate the dedication and reopening just before something called High Holy Days. Mommy and Daddy went to celebrate with them. They had something sacred called scrolls carried in from the chapel, where they had been worshiping after they couldn’t use the sanctuary. They passed the scrolls up the center aisle then danced around the sanctuary to music, carrying the scrolls, until they were passed up to the “ark” on the “bimah.” Mommy taught me those words. See, I could be a great help to her at work. Anyhow, someone took this picture.

That’s Daddy handing the sacred scroll to Mommy.

After that part was over, they ate and drank wine and visited with everyone and generally had a great time while we sat at home waiting for them.

Lucy: But we have been getting some good walks when the temperature cools off a bit in the early evening, just before twilight. Every day we get a nice walk is a special day. E”special”ly if we see people who pet me or if I almost get to chase a cat.

Dad asked why we don’t walk as nice on the leash as Riley (center). I pointed out that we also don’t spend 87 minutes every walk reading pee mail like Riley does.

I heard we’re all going to Aunty Jens and Uncle Bill’s this weekend. And I saw Mommy packaging our food. I’ll get Uncle Bill to hold me and see if Morty has gotten bigger than me.

And I’ll get to play with Ella, try to make friends with Morty again, and maybe even get another kiss from Achilles. So today is going to be another special day!

And I get to go home with my Dad, Andrew!

We can’t wait to get on the road! Kisses and wags from Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess and Lucy, and Riley, too.

Talk Like a Pirate with Lucy and Xena

Published on by Xena, Lucy and Chia19 Comments
Lucy! Lucy! Save me, yer favorite pirate (I hope). Smartly, me lass!
I be on my way, little lassie. Ye look like a bilge rat, but I reckon yer still me sis.

A few hours later…

Lucy: What happened to ye, little Bilge Rat?

Xena: Ye call me dat agane and I be sure to ferget ye saved me life. Ye see, some udder pirate took ze day too far and blew up me ship. I was havin a taste a grog and suddenly like, boom! I twas thrown into da briney.

Arr! I’ve decided to stay home and play with my inflatable pirate ship. At least, if it gets a hole in it, I’ll land on the floor.

Pirate Lucy and Pirate Bilge Rat Xena surviving Talk Like a Pirate Day and thanking Shoko, Tyebe and Bud from The Canadian Cats blog, as well as Da Phenny and Da Nelly from the Easy blog and Kismet the curmudgeon parrot from http://Kylascott.com.

Flower Friday with Xena

Published on by Xena, Lucy and Chia19 Comments

Hey Luce, can you believe it’s already been a whole year since I had to pose for this picture?

We had a new azalea last year. That’s the one you posed beside. It’s a nice picture of you, too, Lucy.

That was our new, 3 season azalea. It bloomed again in the spring for a short time. In the spring it looked like this.

Later in the spring, Mommy called the place where she got it, Holcomb’s Garden Center. It had a warranty, and she was thinking about returning it. They told her that it doesn’t bloom continuously for 3 seasons, but it would bloom again in the summer. Well, in the summer, it was deader than a thumbnail.

Lucy: That’s a door nail, Xena.

Xena: Whatever. Anyhoo. by then Holcomb’s was OOB. That’s short for Out of Business. Can you believe it? So now it looks like this.

In case you’re wondering, that’s a hole in the ground where the azalea bush used to be.

Well then today, Mommy ran out to the store without me ’cause we live in the USA where they have stupid laws about dogs and stores and she came home with a mum. Mom came home with a mum! BOL, BOL! So, to kill two words with one stone…

Lucy: It’s birds, Xena. It’s to kill two birds with one stone.

Xena: Why word you want to kill birds? And I really don’t see how you could kill two of them with the same stone. Anyhoo, no matter what you kill with one stone, or if yo don’t want to kill anything at all, or if you just want to kill one word or bird or…

Lucy: Xena, enough. Please just get to the point.

Xena; Mommy decided to put the table out over top of the hole where the azalea used to be and put that mum that is not her on it and take my picture with it again. Happy Flower Friday, folks.

Pee S, The pretty plastic aura around my head is ’cause I itched a hot spot under my ear. More about that later.

Thanks to Rosy from the LLB Gang for hosting another edition of Flower Friday

After It Rains Hogs

Published on by Xena, Lucy and Chia27 Comments

Xena: I’ve heard that the weather is always a safe topic to talk about, so let’s start there today. It’s been stinkin’ rotten hot. It’s been so hot we haven’t even had our walks. In fact, it’s been hotter than a boy in heat.

Lucy: Don’t you know that boys don’t go into heat?

Xena: Sure I do. But you’d have yelled at me if I’da said that other word that starts with a “b”. So I’m making the weather a safer topic, ya see. So then it cooled off a bit after it rained cats and hogs and…

Lucy: It’s dogs.

Xena: What’s dogs?

Lucy: What it rained.

Xena: Yes, it rained. Anyhoo, that cooled it off enough for us to go out and play. I dared Lucy to try to catch me, and off we were on a chase through the dog lot.

I ran and ran in circles, and sometimes Lucy ran off the patio and tried to catch me, but I was too fast! I was in Warrior Princess mode, don’tcha know. All the grass was gone right there in front of the patio door, causing the dirt to get all soft and wet. Lucy got me on my back there and rolled me around a bit. (I let her.)

Lucy: Yep. Then Xena got me on my back and rolled me around a bit. too. (I let her.) After we’d done that for a while, Mom came over to see how muddy we were. I wasn’t muddy at all. I have super hero hair. It glows in the sunlight and keeps me from getting too hot. Fleas and ticks slide off it like a 5-year-old child off a water slide. The cold can’t get through it, and now we know the mud doesn’t stick to it. I got a pass on a bath.

Xena: I have super hero hair too. It doesn’t fall out all over the house and end up in big piles around the walls and the furniture. All that nasty hair around the house belongs to my sister. Apparently, though, mine isn’t mud-repellent.

Wags, wiggles and shakes, Lucy and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess

My Freestyle Routine

Published on by Xena, Lucy and Chia25 Comments

We went to the Obedience Club of Chattanooga (OCC) on Sunday and practiced with my little friend Meg (on left) and her Mom and her 13-year-old brother, a mini-pin named Titus. Titus and Angel Lexi used to do Freestyle together.

Miss Fay was having trouble playing my music and recording my routine all at the same time, so it took several tries. By the fourth try, I was tired and getting a bit uninterested in the whole thing. And Mommy lost count at the end of my our routine and messed up the ending. At least it was just practice, and not a “trial.” It’s still pretty good, so if you want to see it, just hit the button to make it start.

That last part where we swirl around each other? I made that part up and Mommy liked it so much she named it the Viennese Waltz and kept it in our routine.

We are Team Xena! (and Mommy)

Lizzie Lucy’s Lizard

Published on by Xena, Lucy and Chia24 Comments

Xena: You might think that me and Lucy are always competing and arguing, but it isn’t so. We play together and team up when it counts. On this certain day we both saw a lizard trespassing near the front of our house.

Me and Lucy, we’re a team.

Lucy: OK, Xena, you chase it and if you can catch it, it’s yours.

Xena: So Lucy laid down and I chased the lizard… right into her mouth!

Lucy: Thanks, friend. I want you to know how much I enjoyed that lizard. I saved you the tail, you know.

Xena: But Daddy took it from me and put it in my food dish for later. Then Mommy came home and said, “How disgusting!” and threw it in the garbage. Phth. I didn’t really want it anyhow.

“Lizzie Lucy” dreaming about eating more lizards.

Lizzie Lucy and Lizardless Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess

Adam’s Birthday with Us

Published on by Xena, Lucy and Chia19 Comments

Last weekend our peeps brother Adam came over and spent the night so we could celebrate his birthday together. You might remember Adam from when he helped plant the hostages . We were so excited to see him! Adam goes outside and sits on the patio a lot so he can blow stinky smoke out of his mouth. Regardless, we like to go out with him, at least until it gets too hot, even for us. On Sunday, our other peeps brother Andrew was supposed to come over for pizza and to visit and to celebrate his our brother’s birthday. Mommy told him 5:00, but to try to come early if he could. We all decided that when if he came early that Mommy would order the pizza and we could eat then. We all got pretty hungry.

Why isn’t Andrew here yet?!

Adam got so hungry that he ate a bowl of cereal. Mommy said she would wait until 4:30, then order the pizza. Before she went to get it, me and Lucy asked her if we could eat just a little early so that she wouldn’t have to, you know, interrupt the celebration or so that – good God forbid – the pizza get cold while she was preparing our dinner. She saw the wisdom in this and got our supper ready. We thought she would be in a big hurry to get out the door to get the hot pizza with pepperoni, mushrooms and double cheese *drool* and not make us “Wait!” for our supper. Yeah, like that was gonna happen.

Come on, Mom, say it!
Say it, say it, say it, say it!

Mom: “FREE!”

As soon as we gobbled down our suppers, Mommy headed out the door to pick up the Dominoes pizza – Adam’s favorite. By the time she got back, Andrew had arrived and everyone gobbled down their suppers. Then came the DQ ice cream cake!

I don’t know what to wish for.
Adam made his wish, and I think he probably wished for a schnauzer like me. He couldn’t tell or it might not come true.

The celebration continued the next day with lobster and shrimp and steak – all of Adam’s very favorite foods. Everyone was too busy stuffing their faces enjoying their meals to think about sharing with the poor pups in the house. We did get some ice cream cake. That was our first time ever to get ice cream or frosting or cake. Now I know why the peeps keep it all for themselves!

Adam and Andrew have both gone to their own homes, and we are waiting to see what else happens this week!

Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess

I Feel Like a Puppy Again

Published on by Xena, Lucy and Chia32 Comments

Xena: Hi, hi, hi! Guess what? Wait, I’ll tell you. Mommy read about how bad bennies are for people…

Lucy: It’s benadryl, Xena. Bennies are something else. We don’t get those.

Xena: Well, we don’t get the dryl stuff anymore, either. That’s what I’m here to tell everyone about. So anyhow, as I was saying, Mommy thought, “Hmm, if they are that bad for people, then they can’t be good for dogs, either.” She said you could read about it here if you want to. But keep on reading my story, too. Mommy thought I had changed because I had turned two years old. I was mostly laying around on the love seat and didn’t want to play. The only things I was still enthusiastic about were food and Freestyle. Friday morning, after reading that article, Mommy only gave me a Xertec for my allergies, and no bennies.

Lucy: Xena, I told you, it’s not bennies. And Xertec is spelled Zyrtec.

Xena: No, like I told you before, it’s XERTEC like my name XENA,

Sorry folks. Sometime Lucy thinks she knows more than me. So later in the day when Mommy called to let Daddy know she was finally on her way home from work, he told her that he didn’t know what caused this big change, but that I had been running all over the house with my stuffies.

Do you want to wake up and play with me, Ell?

I had started playing with Lucy again, too. I ran outside with my bully horn and even came back to get another toy to play with in the yard. Mommy knew why, and had conflicting emotions. She was very sad that she had been suppressing my joy, and very happy that I was still the same puppy she knew, and hadn’t really changed.

Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess is back!

So instead of those bad old bennies – Lucy, don’t even say it – I am getting a bath about every other day *pthhh* with BioHex Shampoo with Chlorhexidine and Miconazole. It has microsilver and ceramide in it. (Mommy helped me with those words.) Now I am hardly itching at all and I’m wide awake and ready to rumble! ( heard that last part on TV when the folks were gone.) Anyone want to play?

I’m my Mommy’s happy puppy again.

XOXOXOX Xena on Xertec (only)

This and That on Flower Friday

Published on by Xena, Lucy and Chia21 Comments

Xena – The Visit Ends: Our visitors finally went home after peeing  being with us for 10 days. 

This is me, Xena, and my new friends, Laila and Louis.
Can I take this bone that I found home with me?
Sorry about ruining your big rug.
Bye, bye, Miss Amy. We liked being here.

Xena – A Hat? No Thanks.  Mommy decided once again to try putting Angel Lexi’s hat on me. A cast member gave it to her when she was in the Wizard of Oz. It has a star on it to show she was the star of the show.

Does my expression tell it all?

Lucy – No board, just groom: Chaz was supposed to stay with us last week, but something happened that his folks couldn’t go away. 

Instead, he just came for a groom. 

Xena – Heat and a flower or something like that: It was hotter than a witch’s ti…

Lucy – Xena! No! 

Xena – What? 

Lucy – The saying is “colder” not “hotter.” 

Xena – Oh. Anyway, it’s been hot. So finally one day there was a slight break in the heat and we convinced Mommy to take us for a walk. I thought I’d better leave as much pee mail as I could, ’cause who knows when we will be out walking again, right? And we even saw some pretty flowers.

Lucy – More visitors coming this weekend: I found out that we are finally going to meet Morty.

I’m not sure how that’s going to go, but we are all hoping for the best.

One thing I am sure about is that I can hardly wait to see Ella again. You know we are tight! So, when I heard she was coming to visit, I shouted out a “Hey, girl” to her. She promptly responded the same to me.

   “Hey girl, hey!”

That went on for a while. Then I said, “I can’t wait to hang out with you. Just one thing, Ella. This here is MY Dad, OK?“

She said as long as I understood that Aunty Jen is HER Mom, we’re cool.

                         Oh, solo mio…arrooo!

Xena –  Daddy is MY Daddy too, you know!

This is Lucy and Xena (she means Xena and Lucy) joining the LLB Gang (especially Rosy)  for Flower Friday.