PURIM
Xena: Hey there. I think I told you that Mommy is now the office manager in a synagogue and I’m not allowed to go, right? Well, they recently celebrated something called Purim. It is pronounced like Pour Rum, he, he. It’s where you’re supposed to get drunk and act stupid.
Lucy: Xena!
Xena: I’m telling the truth. Look it up. They even wear funny costumes. Well no one got drunk, but they did have a talent show. Daddy dressed in his polyester leisure suit and him and Mommy danced a Hustle.
The people were clapping and cheering. I think maybe they really were drunk, BOL.
Then parts of a book of the bible called Esther were read in Hebrew, and every time the name Hamen was read, the drunk people booed real loud and swung their noisemakers. I don’t think I would have liked being there, ’cause that would have scared me hurt my sensitive ears.
THE BUSHES
Lucy: Mom advertised that she had four big bushes in front of the house that anyone could have if they dug them up themselves.
Xena: Why did she do that? Why would she give away our bushes?
Lucy: A couple reasons, Xena. 1. She’s “sick and tired of having to trim them”. That’s a direct quote, by the way. And 2. She’s too cheap smart cheap to pay someone to get rid of them for her. So she came up with this scheme. She especially dislikes that big green one cause it is so tall and cause it gets prickly and cause stingy insects live in it in the spring. She even told the Hated Bush that it was going to a new home soon where it would be loved and cared for. I guess she didn’t want it coming after her. Anyhoo, a nice couple wanted them all, so they came over and started trying to dig up that yellow and green one next to the Hated Bush. 
Then they discovered that it had something called a water root that had made its way into the main tube connected to the gutters, the one that carries water away from the house. They ended up sawing off the water root and dragging the whole thing into the woods. They said the Hated Bush probably had a big root in there too. Of course the Hated Bush would do something like that, right? One down, three to go.
Xena: Were those the people I was barking at?
Lucy: Yes, they are sure to remember the noisy little dog that lived in the house with the Hated Bush.
Xena: Grrr.
Lucy: Riley and Andrew came over the other night. Mom had asked our peeps brother Andrew to do a favor for her. I heard Mom whisper to the Hated Bush, “Now you’re going to die! Then you are getting hauled off to the dead bush burial grounds!” I think it might have shivered…or, it could have just been the wind.
Xena: But the bushes are still there!
Lucy: Uh huh. It seems Mom just can’t get rid of them. Brother Andrew power washed the shed and did some other work first, and then it got dark out and he had to go home. Now I’m hearing something about some brush killer that is in the shed. If she does that, we’ll have to stay away from them cause they might try to take revenge by poisoning us. But I heard Dad say, “No.” That’s really weird. Only Mom says, “No.” He said we’ll wait on Brother Andrew to come back.
ALLERGY UPDATE
Xena: My allergy shots are not totally working yet so my allergy dogtor said to get some new shampoo called Head and Shoulders with Zinc. It’s a very special shampoo to help me not itch. I got some new conditioner, too, that my allergy dogtor makes himself. It smells nice and makes my hair super soft. The only problem is that I have to get a bath every two to three days.
Lucy: What’s the problem with that.
Xena: I don’t like it. I’m also taking a very special pill called Xertec. So far so good.
Lucy: That’s Zyrtec, Xena.
Xena: No, no, it is the same as my name. Xe for me, Xe.
Lucy: Why do I even try?
Lucy and Xe Schnauzer Warrior Princess
Why is this mess good, you may ask. This is Maggie. Previously, we asked for POTP for her Mom, who was battling breast cancer. During the final stages of the battle (wait, don’t cry yet, it’s good, I promise) Maggie didn’t have time to come for a groom, and ended up looking like this when she came a couple of weeks ago.
Her Mom had been going through reconstructive surgery and is better now. She didn’t even have to do something called chemo. We want to thank everyone for all the POTP’s that helped give this story a happy 
Do you recognize Maggie (L) and Dora? No, no, they’re not bad. They’ve been coming to us for years and we know and love them. Here’s the bad: their grandpa died and their grandma is not handling it well. It’s causing a lot of stress with their folks which, of course, trickles down to them. We know that some of you have recently lost close relatives and close friends, too, so you can empathize with Maggie and Dora. POTP for their family, please.
Roxxii is pretty adorable, right? It’s what happened in her family that is so ugly. Her Mom’s boyfriend died suddenly, and her Mom was right in the other room when it happened. They are young people, and no one should ever feel so bad that they should die like that. Her Mom is having a real, real hard time right now, so we ask for lots of POTP for her, too. Because she isn’t in a good condition to keep Roxxii brushed, she asked Mom to just shave her hair short. Mom thought she might get cold, so she gave her Xena’s first-ever hoodie,
It’s too small for you now, Xena. That means you can’t wear it cause it doesn’t fit you anymore. Our Mom was wondering what to do with it, and this seemed like a good way to pass on the love you always felt when you wore it.
My sister Lucy likes that chair also, and, strangely, her hair doesn’t stick all over it like it does on the other furniture. 
Sometimes we bark at squirrels and neighbors and delivery people; sometimes we bark and howl with the neighborhood dogs; and sometimes we just nap.
She doesn’t always want the offerings, so I take them back and offer them again another day.
Lucy here, Ace Reporter on the Groom Beat. Today I am going to feature two new dogs that came to Mom for grooms. The first one has the same name as me…can you imagine?
She kissed Mom and sang about how good it felt to be groomed. Can you see her tail wagging?
Her mom, Laurie, warned Mom that Aoife had some mats, and it turned out that her mom had no idea just how matted she was. Mom was determined to save Aoife’s coat, and spent hours de-matting her while she and Laurie gabbed about anything and everything. They even came upstairs and had cups of tea while Aoife was under the dryer. Laurie is a good petter, by the way, and said I am beautiful and sweet. 🙂 After drying Aoife, Mom found a bunch more mats and got back to work. The long blade on the clippers wouldn’t go through her hair, so Aoife got a scissor cut and gave Mom lots and lots of sloppy kisses. Miss Laurie sent us this picture from her house. We have no idea how Aoife’s hair got standing up on her head, ’cause it wasn’t like that when, at 5:30 pm – six hours after she had arrived – Mom declared her finished.
This says, “Today you are you that is truer than true. There is no one alive that is youer than you. ~Dr Seuss” Sometimes it seems like everyone wants me to be someone else. Or at least it feels that way, and I end up trying to please everyone. That usually doesn’t make everyone happy, especially not me. I think I will just be me, and love everybody for who they really are, too. Will you be my friend today?
But sometimes you just have to shut your eyes and hope you don’t miss any food.
I sat near them all evening until they had to leave. Riley promised to come back to visit again soon. Maybe next time we can run and play outside, just like old times. That sure would be fun.
Landry was at the vet in October, and you can see on his back where the techs there tried to shave him down. They said they couldn’t do any more and stopped. From October to now, that hair has never grown. When he came to Mom, his legs, tail, ears and face were completely matted, some clear down to the skin. Urine and feces were in his back leg hair. Landry didn’t want groomed, and he kept trying to bite Mom. Even a muzzle wasn’t enough – he was going crazy. Super Hero Dad to the rescue! Dad held Landry while Mom shaved him all over, even his face. He got a good bath and ended up looking like this. 
Mom had to muzzle him to shave his legs and feet, but Super Hero Dad did not have to be called. You can’t really tell from his “after” picture, but Dallas is also very overweight.
Mom brushed Bonnie for a whole hour, using a dematter, a horse curry comb, and a slicker brush. She thinks she brushed enough hair off to make another dog. Bonnie also had to be muzzled for her feet with Super Hero Dad holding her, too.
I don’t know if I am supposed to say when Mom has favorites, but I am going to tell this time. Bonnie Blue stole Mom’s heart. Doesn’t she look happy after her groom? She even gave Mom a thank you kiss on the nose. Unfortunately, under all that clean fur is another fat, er, overweight dog.
This red leather chair took over the space. No matter. I won the bet. 
At first it was a little scary. I mean, I had never ridden a horsie before. 
I thought maybe I should watch for traffic behind us like Mommy does when she is driving.
Then I said, “giddy up,” and urged horsie to go faster while I hung on tight. I rode bareback my first time out!
OK, Mommy, horsie said he’s done. You can help me off now.
We think that aliens were coming down and making shadow monsters out of Lucy and Ella. The girls ran into the house with me and the monsters disappeared.
The 
We could have even fit one more of us in there. This is the one that 
Mommy was not amused. She stood perfectly still, looking at it like she had never before seen anything that a dog had destroyed. #poormommy. We found a few small pieces on the stairs. Other than that, we think Lucy might be protected from fleas until after her next good poop.
Now I have a duck-taped seven month flea collar. I wonder how many more months I have to go with it like this. Probably just until Lucy chews it off my neck again, he, he.
Achilles
Her Mom (Anne) is an expert organ player and knows my Mom from when Mom worked at St. Luke. Anne usually grooms Maddie, but sometimes she needs an expert groomer’s touch. The holidays were so busy that Maddi got pretty madded, or matted, and Mom’s touch was needed. Xena and I got to come in the groom room and be with them, but Xena couldn’t stop her yapper so I took her upstairs. Before long, Mom was done and Maddie had her bath they all came upstairs too. Xena and I sort of played with Maddie while the peeps visited over lunch. On the way back downstairs, Xena was on one side of me and Maddie on the other when they decided to (almost) get in a fight and barked and lunged at each other right underneath my belly! That sure was a moment I don’t want to repeat. Lucy, signing off from the Groom Beat, with my guts still intact.
XOXOXO Your niece, Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess
Her Mom had to leave her for three hours while she worked, so Roxxii came upstairs to stay with us.
Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess with Lucy and Chia 