It’s my last day at work…at least until Mom comes back. She is leaving on a plane and not taking me with her. She is going away to have fun with her friend. I feel cheated. I’m not going to have fun with anyone. Dad will still be here and Jentry said she would help take care of me. But they won’t play the “Leave it, find it” game with me or play chase or the “Rats under the covers” game. I think the boy would throw my ball, but he doesn’t know how to do it right. Mom even said she won’t be helping me to blog until she gets back next week. I am sad.
May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face; the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand.
Tonight, right before dinner time, my Dad left with Jentry and the boy. Dad didn’t feed me before he left. I don’t know if he forgot or just didn’t think it was his job, or what. Then Mom didn’t come home. She is supposed to come home and feed me my supper. I was abandoned. No food, only two bowls of water, no people with hands who could reach and scoop my kibble and yummy soft food. My nose led me downstairs where Jentry had thoughtfully left some cheese fries in a bag where I could reach them. Jentry is my bestest friend. I had to chew through the bag to get to them, but thought maybe that was a new game, like Mom hiding treats for me to find. So I played the game, got to the cheese fries and ate them – all of them. Mom and Jentry and Andrew and the boy finally came home. Mom said she needed some Lexi loving, so I got up on the couch next to her so she could pet me. Next thing I know she is asking Andrew if he had any idea why my stomach was so extended and hard and why I didn’t eat my supper. That’s when she found out about the cheese fries that my bestest friend Jentry left me. I had a lot of explaining to do.
Talking my way out of this one.Mommy, let me explain!
Well, I have to go now. It is bedtime and I need to get my nite nite treat.
I was supposed to Skype with Noodle last Friday, but I told him that I had to wash my hair. Now I feel bad. I miss my Valentine boy. I wonder if he would Skype with me this weekend… To help Noodle forgive me for breaking our Skype date last week, I am showing him this picture of me as a puppy. I was about eight weeks old here. Who can resist a puppy? Can someone put in a good word for me? Maybe ask him to look at this picture? I am Lexi, the contrite schnauzer.
I barked Mom into posting some pictures of when I last competed in Freestyle in 2012. She was very unclear with her signals, so I did a lot of what I wanted to do. Still, I was very excited about competing and taking third place. (No, Mom, I shouldn’t tell them there was only three dogs competing in that category!)
Here we are taking our opening bows. I am watching Mom for my first cue to get started dancing.
I am so excited!
Moving fast, isn’t my beard beautiful?
Here, I execute the under the leg weave as we keep moving forward.
I just made a turn by twirling around on my hind legs.
We are doing an Electric Slide move here to my left.
I have a good life. It’s because I have everyone trained. I used to go to work with Mom only on Thursdays. Now I go to the church to work on Wednesdays and Fridays and to her other office on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I know my days and am always ready to go. We all stay home on the weekend, so that’s ok. On Mondays I stay home with my Dad. It took a while, but he is finally trained. He gets up very early and lets me out to do my potty. Then he feeds me, always adding the special topping to my kibble. I usually go back to bed for a few hours, then get up in time to pester Dad politely ask Dad to let me out and then to give me my mid-morning treat. A little later I join Dad for lunch and another trip outside. At 1:00 sharp Riley and I accompany Dad down the driveway to the mailbox and get our get-the-mail treat. If someone else has already brought up the mail, we still get our get-the-mail treat. It is only fair. At 3:00 I get my after-school-treat. I always remind Dad if he forgets. Of course I do not attend school, but The Boy does, and I think he gets out of school sometime around 3:00. That is a good time and reason to ask for a treat, as well as to go back out.
It is never too late in the day to practice dominance. Here is how to practice at bedtime with your dad:
First get your dad’s attention by stretching out on top of him.Then sit up so he can scratch your pits. That also digs your front feet into his chest, so he can’t forget you are there..If he stops, resume the down position and stare intently at him while scratching at his hand.Got all that?It’s hard to stay awake when it is bedtime, but sacrifices have to be made.Domination plan: successful
I have also taught Dad about the “schnauzer portion.” No matter what he eats, I get a bite. That is, unless it is too spicy and will cause my tummy problems, then he “looks out for me.” That means I don’t get my schnauzer portion. Sometimes at lunch he forgets if he gave me my schnauzer portion and I get another one. I never admit to the first one – I always want more I wouldn’t want him to feel badly that he forgot.
At supper I sit at the table with Mom and Dad. Unlike on my birthday, I do not get my own plate. Mom usually gives me something, and Dad, as I said, is trained to give me the schnauzer portion. I think I have Mom trained too; if it looks like Dad is going to finish without sharing, Mom says, “Did you give Lexi her ‘schnauzer portion?’”
Some of my wonderful new friends get a bit stressed when their moms leave for work in the morning. I know it is because they have been abandoned earlier in their lives. Friends, I hope you see this and understand that your forever mom will be back, and until she returns, you have all day to work on training your dad. He will appreciate the closeness, the interaction, and knowing he is learning to do everything exactly how you want it done. Tip: Be sure the house is stocked with plenty of treats before you begin the training. Sometimes, he will even beg your mom to take you to work with her. I am sure it is so she can benefit from your training techniques as well. Either way, you win.
Piper (L) gets too much attention when he is here. He hugs.
Mom was going to ground me from my Valentine’s Day date because I did something naughty at work on Thursday. Thanks to pleas from some of my friends, she changed her mind…and came up with a new punishment. Personally, I don’t think Moms should be allowed to punish their schnauzers. However, she said no one could arrest her for dog cruelty for what she did.
I have to dog-sit my schnauzer cousin Piper. That meant I couldn’t go to work with Mom on Friday. I thought about making my Dad suffer all day for what Mom did, but decided I would play it cool, hoping they would remove this punishment sooner. Nope, he’s still here. Piper was supposed to go home tonight, but now he’s not leaving until Monday night. He eats my food, sleeps in my bed, and snuggles with my Mom. And now Riley is acting like, “Hey Piper buddy, so glad you are back! Let’s play!” At least I get to visit with my Auntie Jen when she picks him up tomorrow night! And I still have my Valentine date with Noodle. Yea!!!
I am looking at my Dad who is eating cake while Mom forces me to lay on my back as she combs the mats out of my beautiful hair. They are constantly finding crueler ways to torture me.
The stupid Super Bowl is on. Before that the even stupider Puppy Bowl was on. Everyone is ignoring me. Good thing I saved my breakfast. I might not have been given any stupid dog food to ignore tonight. If that wasn’t bad enough, Mom gave me a bath. She spilled powdered sugar on my beautiful hair and it got all sticky. I got cold from the bath, so now I am wearing my stupid hoodie with the silver reflective strip down the back. I hate my hoodie. It’s not been a good day.
I learned that all the dogs (and cats) that Noodle nominated for a special award won. You win just by being nominated. I guess that’s ok, ’cause then no one feels bad about losing. I still don’t quite understand how we can all win, though. Mom says we are all winners because we are very good dogs and cats with loving homes. I think I will just go with that. Now I am supposed to nominate my furry friends for the award. I will try to think of other dogs – and cats – I know with blogs. Hmmm. This may take a while.
All this thinking has gotten my mind off of treats, and I have only gotten one today, my go to the mailbox treat.
Speaking of treats, I ate a Chinese fortune cookie and got a fortune. It said, “People enjoy having you around. Appreciate this.” That fortune must have been in that cookie especially for me. Inside my head I am smiling thinking about it. Now I have to go campaign for my supper.
I am Lexi, the fortunate.
P.S. My friend Noodle posted a picture of him looking so handsome that I had to add one of me looking extra-pretty. What do you think?
Things have been relatively quiet lately. No more frenetic drives to the theater. I didn’t even get to go to the children’s hospital in November because my special day fell on a holiday and the Lois lady wasn’t there to give me treats or to ask the children if they like dogs. The same thing is happening – or not happening, as the case may be – this month. Sigh. I bet the kids miss me.
I have been going to work with Mom more often. It can be tiring. I often sleep a lot, especially at her Tuesday and Thursday job. When I go to her church job on Wednesdays and Fridays there is too much to do for me to sleep. I have to visit with the lady next to Mom’s office. She needs to pet me a lot and always gives me treats. A pup has to stay awake for that, you know. I hear people walking around upstairs so I have to run up the stairs a lot to be sure someone isn’t getting something I’m not there isn’t a burglar. So far, so good. Then comes lunchtime and I have to run up to the secretary’s office and watch her eat. I never get much, but I am certain I will eventually wear her down. I heard Mom tell Dad she was leaving me home today, but he was on my side. He said he was too tired to deal with me today, and asked Mom to pleeeease take me. Thanks, Dad!
Last night I went to a local dance studio and helped teach dance again. I was so excited that I bunny-hopped all around the floor and kept yelling, “Hurray!” Mom finally told me to stop barking. I didn’t recognize her at first, but the student was a girl from when we used to teach dance in Dunlap many years ago. She is all grown up now and was there with her boyfriend. I remembered to watch them very closely and bark when they didn’t do something right and bark again when they did. I know, I used to only bark when something wasn’t right, but I have decided that people need encouragement for a good job. Savannah remembered me, and laughed and smiled and said what a good girl I am. Every time Dad walked off the dance floor, I ran over and stood on my hind legs to dance with Mom. Then the music would stop. It’s no fun to dance without music. I got pretty disgusted with that and laid down in front of the door so that no one could leave until I got to dance, too. Mommy finally scolded Dad and told him to let me dance to the music before he turned it off. I didn’t dance very long because it is harder to stand up on my hind legs than it used to be, but I did a very good job with the Swing. I had so much fun!
Last week was a sad week around home. My sister Lily was dying. I could tell. Even Riley knew. He came up to my Dad’s office where Lily was lying on her bed. After he smelled her for a while he laid down on Lily’s bed next to her. He never lies down next to her or me. Maybe he isn’t such a bad sort after all. Dad had us all say goodbye to Lily before he took her back to her other home to be with her mom. He has never done that before.
It hasn’t been long since I last saw my schnauzer buddy Milo. He was terribly sick, and after he went back home with him mom, he had to be “put to sleep.” I hate those words. I know I will never see Milo again. My Auntie Jen has been so sad.
I stayed home with Dad yesterday when Mom went to the church to work. That’s how I know he got a phone call that made him cry. Today I am at the office sleeping working with Mom. Dad said he wanted to be alone. No one told me this, but I don’t think Lily is coming back. I have been through this before, and I am beginning to understand. I hate when everyone is so sad.
Weekend two of the play is over. Friday night my people brothers and Jentry and the boy came to watch me perform. I wish Riley had come too. He could have seen how it is done – not that he could ever do it. Nobody told me I was going to have to perform two times on Saturday. That’s just too much. At the second show I got through the first two scenes – my favorites – where I run out onto the stage to Grayson. Then I wanted to go home. I was tired and hungry and the treats weren’t coming fast enough. Mom was trying to make one cheese stick last through two performances. That’s not right, it’s a cheat. And it is me who is being cheated. So I ran off the stage every chance I got. Mom got mad at me, but I don’t care. What are they going to do, fire me? I don’t think so. They will never find another Toto as good as me, especially on such short notice – or ever! I have rested and am ready now to be on stage again this weekend. I am Lexi, the temperamental thespian schnauzer.
Everyone still says, “Ahhhhh” the first time I run out onto the stage.
I like Grayson, who plays the part of Dorothy. She is the keeper of the treats.
I like the Lion – no one has told me his name. He is soft and I am comfy when he holds me.
I like the flying monkey. He isn’t used to dogs, but he loves me and I am sweet to him so he will know that dogs are good. I have to be reminded to run when he puts me down. Grayson yells, “Run, Toto, run!” and Mommy is in the wings waving a cheese stick for me to come eat. That helps me remember.
I like the wicked witch. We remember each other from last time. She gave me a present, some bling for my collar. I like bling.
The trees do not scare me this time.
I have to remember to stay away from the edge of the stage where it drops way down into the music pit. I can feel Mommy’s fear every time I get too close to it. Sometimes Grayson calls to me when I get too close.
I am doing a good job. Everyone says so. Once in a while I run off stage to my Mom so she can tell me I am doing a good job. I need that reassurance at times.
Rehearsals are over. Every night for a week we didn’t get home and in bed until eleven o’clock. Mom and I were exhausted. We were barely getting to work the next day. And there was too much to do for us to sleep at work. Our schedule was get up, eat breakfast (me), go to work, eat lunch (Mom), starve the schnauzer, go to the theater, rehearse and get treats (me), go home, get a treat (me) and go to bed. Over and over again. I lost a whole pound.
The first weekend of the Wizard of Oz is history. I am a star. Of course. Again. On opening night, those munchkins kept getting in my way. They started dancing as I was entering from stage right and almost danced me right off the front of the stage. Now that would have been an opening night to remember! It shook me up. I wasn’t myself the rest of the night. The next night Mom adjusted my entrance to be from stage left. It is working much better.
After my bows, I greeted the audience in the lobby. No one brought me any treats. Saturday night my Dad was there and he held me while everyone pet me and asked if I was his dog. He had the honor of saying yes. I was really tired from my performance so I laid quietly in his arms. However, when he put me down, I tried to go down the hall to where I could smell the Mexican food from some other event that was happening there. I am never too tired for food.
The scale came out this morning. I am two pounds heavier than last time. The magic kibble isn’t working. Mom doesn’t understand how I could weigh more. I’m not telling.
I went to the doctor in May. I always go in May, the same month as my birthday. I think it must be a rule that you have to go for your yearly exam in the month you were born. Last year it was right on my birthday. This year, after, he poked and prodded and stuck me with needles, he declared I was overweight by three or four pounds. I think this is what is commonly called adding insult to injury.
So now Mom is saying things like, “I feel sorry for your new Dorothy if she has to carry you.” And, “I think you are panting because you weigh too much.” No, Mom. I am panting because it is 90 degrees outside and my hair is getting long so I can be Toto. That is what dogs do when they are hot, they pant.
I bet you know what happened next. That’s ok, I am going to tell you anyhow. I am on a cruel diet. Dad always feeds me in the morning before Mom gets out of bed, so I am ok there. I have begun to gobble down my breakfast so Mom doesn’t get up and take it away. It has the good canned stuff in it. Then there is my supper. Mom always feeds me my supper. She used to put the good canned stuff in it along with some kibble. Now she doesn’t even put food in my food dish. My poor lonely food dish. My poor lonely tummy.
Exhausted after working so hard for supper.
Do you know what I have to do now to get food in the evening? I have to push a treat ball around the floor and scarf up the kibble that falls out of it. Normally I would turn my nose up at plain kibble, but I think there is something – maybe magic – in the treat ball that turns it into treats. Last night I was almost done when Riley showed up and took my ball away from me. He pushed it with his big dufus T-Rex nose until the last of the magic kibble fell out and he ate it. That was my magic kibble dinner. I am Lexi, the magic kibble dog.
I'm Dalton, a Rat terrier mix and I came here in Sept, 2017, I was rescued from Hurricane Harvey. My birthday is 8-20-2016. My Gotcha Day is 8-27-2017. And I am Benji, a terrier mix of unknown origin. MY Birthday is June 6, 2018, and my Gotcha Day is Dec 28, 2018. I also was a rescue from a different part of Texas. We also have Angel MrJackFreckles, (2-5-2018); and also we have Angel Minko, (6-18-2017); and Angel Pipo, (11-3-2020);There are also Angels Groucho, Simba, Suki, & Toki. We meezers used to be known as WeBeesSiameezers. We'e all from Michigan, Dalton and Benji both came here from Texas, as rescues..
Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess with Lucy and Chia 