Lucy: Hi Friends. Since I am the official reporter on the grooming beat, I get to go first. Some of you might remember Laila and Louie. I reported on their grooms and Laila’s pregnancy. Her Mama sent us a pretty picture of all the puppies. 
Why so many? Because she has had two litters. The one in the top left corner is called Cow Puppy, he, he. The only one to look like his daddy is the second one on the bottom row. And you will never guess…Laila is in a delicate condition again, due on September 15. Her Mama said it happened while she was on vacation and didn’t know what was going on. My Mom suggested she get Louie “fixed” right now before this third litter of puppies are even born. I sure wouldn’t want to have that many kids! Thankfully, they did all get good homes. 
This is Louie and Laila after they got home from being groomed last weekend. Mom hates Laila’s haircut, but it’s how her Mama wants her done.
Xena: My turn, Lucy Goosey. I want to tell everyone how I finished up my Agility Won training and I was sooo good that I passed without even going to the last class. 
I wanted to go, but see, here’s what happened. Me and Lucy went to the dog park on Monday morning and that’s when Mommy stuck her hand in the poop bag container and got stung and her hand swelled up like a balloon and she had to take bennies and she couldn’t drive. So she called Miss Nancy who is my teacher and Miss Nancy loves me and said she already knew that I’m ready to move on to the next level so she would still give us my graduation certificate the next time she saw us. I still wish we could have gone to class…it is sooo much fun!
Lucy: Umm, I still have some groom client updates to do, Xena, then you can tell more stuff. You might remember Maggie. We had asked for POTP for her Mama who was having surgery for breast cancer. Wonderful news! Her Mama did great and doesn’t even have to have poison to finish up. (I think it is called keemo.) Mom groomed Maggie last Saturday while our peeps brother Adam ran the yard sale. I offered to help, but he said he had it. OK, Xena, you can finish up, but don’t write a novel.
Xena: All right Luce the Sweet Goose. Here’s what I’ve got. Check it out.
Daddy’s been working on a dead lion for his job. I don’t understand how he can work two weeks of hours when only one week has gone by, but that’s what did, and he’s not done yet. Daddy’s gotten to bed very late every night, so Lucy and I keep his spot warm. You can see that Mommy covers the bed with a sheet because of all the nasty dog fur from Lucy. It gets on everything, even me. It goes down my throat and makes me gag, too. So that’s Lucy keeping the middle of the bed warm, and Mommy keeping her side warm, and me warming Daddy’s pillow so I don’t have to lay in all the nasty dog fur. Us schnauzers have hair, not nasty fur, you know. I just learned this from Angel Lexi – she was close by all day on Tuesday because it was her two year angel-versary. Then she had to go back to do stuff for the Big Guy and play with Spike the Unicorn, as well as Dorothy and the Lion and the Scarecrow and all her other friends. Lucy’s doing that cut her throat sign with her paw again, which means I’m going into novel mode again.
Love and barks and wiggles from Lucy Goosey and Xena Princess Schnauzer Warrior
Hi there! Lucy here with another episode of grooming with Mom. Today we feature Sophie, the 11-year-old salt-and-pepper Miniature Schnauzer, and her brother Dexter, the 4-year-old white miniature schnauzer. They are both bigger than Xena; Mom says they are the same size as Angel Lexi. They are good pups, except when it comes to shaving around Dexter’s nards. Dad had to hold him for that, while reassuring him that his prized possessions would still be there when Mom got done, BOL!
and “after.”.Sophie thanked Mom with nose kisses.
Cray-cray, right? Here he is all groomed and bathed. 
She’s my new BFF. Sometimes I hear noises so I look out in the yard to see if she has come to visit, but it is always a bird or a squirrel or a rabbit. Occasionally, a cat has the nerve to cross through my property without permission! I always let Mom know when that happens.
Mom hasn’t been going to work at all, so Xena and I have been getting more walks around the neighbor-hood. Sometimes we see people on our walks and I start to wiggle all over. Mom explains that I love people and asks them if they would pet me. They always say yes, and I get to make new friends. When the X dog stops barking her fool head off, they sometimes pet her too. Back home, Mom takes off our leashes and let us run zoomies in the front yard. I guess we aren’t grounded anymore. (So does that mean h-e-double hockey sticks froze over?)
We are not engaged. He is not even my boyfriend.
What chair? Oh, that chair. 
Well, you see, Mommy, I was just sitting here minding my own business and it just kinda’ exploded. There’s Ludwig. He was watching from the top of the Victrola. Ask him!
And some of it over there.
It’s so boring wearing the cone without ice cream. I was just thinking about how much fun I had at my pre-agility class. Remember the V-ramp that I loved – just like Angel Lexi said I would? Look at my legs-I was running so fast they were just a blur.
I hope my boo boo heals up fast so that I don’t have to wear the cone without ice cream when I go to my very first Agility Won class in a couple of weeks.
Do you remember when Mommy and I almost died in an almost car wreck? And then I was 
Hey Mommy, where are we going?
Dr. Smith said the same thing you did about my ears being super dooper clean. I wish my favorite vet, Dr. Karen, had been there. Thanks for stopping the helper lady from putting that glass stick up my butt.
I never did understand what I am supposed to do with these squishy discs. I guess that might be ’cause Mommy didn’t know, either, BOL!
and turn around and run back up (and down) it. I was like that speedy guy from Marvel – I think his name is Speedy, or maybe Flash – yep, that’s it, Flash.
I am Xena the Future Agility Champion
I had the bestest birthday I ever had. Of course it was the only one I ever had. On the way home from work, we stopped at the Smart Pet place. After looking around, we went home with yummy treats for me.
When we got home, there were all my stuffie friends, including Ludwig, in the kitchen with bags of pressies for me. Winter bear got tired and fell asleep while he was waiting for me to get home, so he missed me opening my pressies. 
This pink bag had a lot of bouncy yellow foam balls that Mommy will throw for me. I love to play fetch with balls, and I’m even getting better at catching them with my mouth and my paws.
The flower bag had yummy flavored bones in it – I had to share one of them with Lucy. 
Mommy let us chew on them for a while before dinner, but when she saw how quickly we chewed them apart, she took them away from us and fed them to that bad old can that’s under the sink. I hate that can. It gets lots of stuff I could eat! 
She ate so fast that she made all these disgusting piggy noises (sorry, Bacon). 
We got our desserts after we finished our meal and had licked our plate and bowl clean. You can see we both dug into the yogurt first.
Of course I hadn’t. I didn’t really know about birthdays. Mommy went on to explain that one year ago I was born on June 21. So this Thursday, I will be one year old, and I will get presents and we will celebrate my life.
I always get great food – I mean, chicken or steak or fish every night! As well as chickie feet and liver and gizzards and green tripe and fresh veggies and fruit and sauerkraut and coconut oil. What more could a pup ask for in their dish?
Here is Tiger, Rainbow Bear, Brownie Bear, and the almost dead alligator that used to be Riley’s. I thought it was all dead, then one day, when I was playing in my kennel, I found it laying across my back. I’m keeping it because the squeaker still works. Everyone is lined up nice and neat waiting to go outside to play. After I carried everyone out and laid them down in a neat line, I closed my kennel door so no one would run back inside.
Everyone ready? Tiger, turn around. OK, Mom, open the door so we can all go outside and play. Man, sometimes I feel like I am running my own daycare, just like they do at work.
Sweetheart was already napping in my bed. *yawn* (He, he, I made Mommy yawn, too. I told you we are just alike.)
This funny-looking puppy sat next to me the first night we were there. He was what Mommy calls hyper. We didn’t get to be friends.
She and her folks sat on the other side of us the first night, and from then on we always sat together during class. She tried sticking her biglongnose into my bee-hind, but she stopped once I ‘splained to her that I did not like that and don’t do it again. Do you see her front-hook halter? It’s just like Lucy’s. Mommy ‘splained to her Mom and Pop how good those are, and they got her one. They said it is like magic, te, he.
Next month 
I am outside at lunchtime with Mommy. I look to my right and don’t see any ants.
I look to my left and…wait, what’s that scurrying away from me?
Got one!
Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess with Lucy and Chia 